You walk into a big firm. The partner sitting behind the desk starts to make his pitch: “You really must work for a large firm, such as Bigg & Mediocre, because only large firms have the resources to handle big matters. We can staff big cases. We handle transnational stuff. If you go to work for a small firm, you just don’t have the opportunity to work on matters that capture headlines.”
Then you walk into the big firm down the street. The partners there make exactly the same pitch. And then you walk into a firm halfway across the country. And hear the same pitch again.
Do these people really think they’re telling you something persuasive? Or creative? Or worth listening to?
You stroll into the branch office of a big firm. The partner makes her pitch: “We’re absolutely unique! We combine the collegiality of a small firm with the practice of a big firm. The 25 of us in this branch office all know and like each other, but we get to work on cases attracted by the 300 lawyers in New York. It’s the best of both worlds!”
You walk into a small firm: “We’re a great firm, so we attract great cases. But there are really two other reasons to work here. First, our size makes us collegial; we really know and like each other. Second, our size forces us to advance the careers of junior lawyers. We don’t staff cases with five lawyers, which causes the junior lawyer to carry the bags of the senior folks. You’ll be taking depositions from day one!”
And, of course, all of the partners at all of the firms shout in unison the real reason why you should work at their firms: “Our people are unique and great. It’s the people that make us different!”
I’m not really knocking this. (I take that back; I am really knocking this.) Maybe this is the best pitch for your firm. You say exactly the same stuff as the guy down the street, and you expect the law student to be convinced by it. But if there were really anything unique about your firm, or if you had an ounce of creativity, couldn’t you say something that I couldn’t satirize without even knowing who you are?
So, too, when law firms pitch clients for new business: “We’re Bigg & Mediocre! We have massive resources that we can bring to bear on your case. We permit one-stop shopping. If there are any tentacles of your case that must be explored, we’re guaranteed to have a specialist who knows that precise area of law. And we work together as a team. We assign the right lawyer to your case and, because we work together all the time, we save you time and money.”
Or a smaller firm: “We’re efficient! Unlike those other, or bigger, firms, we don’t send in the Fifth Fleet. We send in the Special Forces. By staffing leanly, we handle your cases efficiently and less expensively.”
Or everybody: “We use technology! By using cutting-edge technology, we reduce the use of lawyers and minimize the hours spent on your case.”
I don’t mind that you say this stuff. (I take that back; I really do mind.) But don’t think that you’re being creative, or thoughtful, or there’s any reason for people to listen when you spout this stuff. Understand that you’re saying exactly the same thing the listener has heard a hundred times before, and there’s a fair chance that, although you’re talking, no one’s listening.
Mark Herrmann spent 17 years as a partner at a leading international law firm and is now deputy general counsel at a large international company. He is the author of The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law and Drug and Device Product Liability Litigation Strategy (affiliate links). You can reach him by email at inhouse@abovethelaw.com.