Just a reminder to white students, lawyers, judges, and professors: You should not use the N-word. Ever. There may be exceptions when someone who is not black can use the N-word, but they are small exceptions that will never apply to you.
I posted a tweet that suggested that as a rule it is never okay for a white person to use the N-word. That included a 16-year-old who, as it turns out, does not get to go to Harvard because of his use of such a word. Others have faced wrath for the use of the word. A judge. A juror. A law professor. But apparently it is still a thing for white people to desperately search for an exception that allows them to use it.
So, Twitter came alive with the sound of privilege. What kind of privilege? The privilege that insists that white people can say whatever they want, whenever they want, and to whomever they want. You know, the kind of privilege no one else has.
Let’s try this again…
Me on Twitter:
Q: When should a white person use the N-word?
A: Never. FAQS: What if…. Singing along to hip hop? No. Quoting from a text? No. Posting on social media when you’re 16 and wanting to get into an Ivy League School? Still no.
Q: Can I use it while reading Mark Twain? Can I use it if I’m acting in a movie or play and I’m portraying a racist?
A: There’s a plethora of people reading Mark Twain aloud and/or acting in a movie portraying a racist? News to me. Wait, are we doing “Green Eggs and Ham?” Not in a house, not with a mouse, not in a boat, not in a moat……
Q: What if I have a pass from someone who is black?
A: Still no. Most people claiming to have such a pass lie about it, and others try to use it around people who did not give them “a pass.”
Q: Can I say it if my girlfriend is black and asks me to say it during sex?
A: Wow, we’re stretching the hypotheticals, aren’t we?
Q: Can I say the word “niggardly”?
A: No, because you know you’re doing it to provoke when you could use a word like stingy instead. You know you have a thesaurus. Also, do a search for the word on Twitter and see how many times it comes up APART FROM PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW THEY AREN’T SUPPOSED TO SAY THE N-WORD!
Q: Can I use it when I sing along to the music of hip-hop?
A: No. Here’s a helpful video about it from nearly two decades ago.
Q: How come Eminem gets to use it?
A: Without consequences? Hardly. Oh, by the way, so that we’re clear: you aren’t Eminem.
Q: What about Django Unchained? White people had to say the N-word then.
A: Yes, for historical accuracy. Not to aggrandize slavery or do anything but highlight the horrors of it.
Q: You are oppressing my free speech rights, you fascist pinko!
A: That’s not a question. Also, I said you shouldn’t say it. But you clearly have a deep pressing need to say it for some reason. I wonder why.
Q: Why can black people say it and I can’t?
A: Because it wasn’t a tool of oppression against you, white guy.
Q: Well, forbidding us from using the N-word won’t get rid of racism!
A: Don’t I know it! If white people refuse to avoid saying a single word, imagine how difficult it is to eliminate other institutionalized racism.
Q: You suggesting segregation of speech? This is black privilege! You’re the word police!
A: Why are you so freaking upset about not saying a terrible word?
Q: What if I desperately need to quote the Boondocks?
A: Sigh.
Q: What if my 3-year-old misspeaks when talking about the country Niger?
A: Correct the child, and explain to the kid how they should never use the word again. Explain the history of the word. Use resources, because if you’re asking questions like this I think it means you might need the help yourself.
Q: I know a professor who likes to use the N-word just because.
A: Never take a class from that professor ever.
Q: Kids will be kids. Why punish a 16-year-old for saying the N-word?
A: I’m sure you say the same thing when a 16-year-old minority kid does or says something, right? Like walk in their own damn neighborhoods? Or is this really about white privilege again?
Q: But I really just want to say it!!! It’s killing me not to!
A: Some words don’t belong to everyone. Watch this.
Q: Why are you so uptight about this?
A: I’m horrified that you WANT to use a word that is so destructive, so harmful, so hyper-contextualized and intertwined with oppression and enslavement. Why are you trying so hard to say it? My concern is that you want to say it to feel superior. That’s the very thinking that the word’s history teaches us is very dangerous.
LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here. He is way funnier on social media, he claims. Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.