left,
Rep.
Ralph
Norman,
R-S.C.,
Ed
Martin,
and
Jeffrey
Clark,
former
Acting
Assistant
Attorney
General.
(Bill
Clark/CQ-Roll
Call,
Inc
via
Getty
Images)
Conspiracy
theorist-cum-interim
U.S.
Attorney
Ed
Martin
is
having
a
ball
with
his
newfound
position.
Back
in
2021,
he
was
out
there
leading
“Stop
the
Steal”
chants,
hyping
up
the
crowd
that
would
storm
the
Capitol
the
next
day.
Now
as
the
top
federal
prosecutor
in
Washington
D.C.
he
gets
to
fire
all
the
career
prosecutors
involved
in
enforcing
the
nation’s
general
prohibition
against
taking
a
dump
in
the
Rotunda.
He’s
also
having
fun
writing
letters
setting
out
legal
gibberish
for
social
media
consumption.
As
one
does.
Earlier
today,
Martin
shared
a
MASH
note
he
wrote
to
shadow
president
Elon
Musk
promising
to
use
the
full
force
of
his
office
(assuming
he
still
has
any
FBI
agents
that
haven’t
been
loyalty
purged)
to
go
after
anyone
getting
in
the
way
of
DOGE’s
mission.
Which
mostly
seems
to
be
sending
high
school
interns
on
field
trips
to
seize
everyone’s
social
security
numbers.
“SENT
VIA
X.”
This
is
truly
the
dumbest
timeline.
Look,
DOGE
is
clearly
a
real
entity
because
in
that
place
where
a
serious
letter
would
put
an
address
it
says
“United
States
Government.”
Cannot
argue
with
that!
The
“threats,
confrontations,
or
other
actions”
eluded
to
seem
little
more
than
people
identifying
the
adolescent
Keystone
Kops
working
for
Musk
and
government
security
guards
and
senior
officials
doing
their
jobs
as
actual
government
employees
and
trying
to
prevent
DOGE
from
busting
into
government
offices.
Martin
notes
that
these
actions
“may
break
numerous
laws.”
Which
is
code
for
does
not
break
any
laws
but
I
need
to
sound
tough.
When
something
actually
breaks
the
law,
prosecutors
get
specific
—
usually
citing
a
violation
similar
to
but
far
in
excess
of
what
allegedly
happened
for
maximum
intimidation
value.
When
they
write
“I
dunno,
but
that
don’t
seem
legal,”
they’re
telling
you
that
they
have
nothing.
No
they
have
not.
It
is
not
illegal
just
to
name
a
(quasi)
government
employee.
Musk
must
be
asking
his
AI
for
legal
advice
again.
Nor
is
it
illegal
for
security
to
secure
federal
buildings
from
people
who
aren’t
authorized
to
be
there.
In
fact,
if
Martin
could
cite
any
law
being
broken
it
would
be
a
tortured
reading
of
the
laws
against
trespassing
on
government
property
or
corruptly
obstructing
an
official
proceeding
—
laws
that
would
remind
everybody
of
the
time
he
played
cheerleader
for
a
bunch
of
guys
who
turned
around
and
busted
into
Nancy
Pelosi’s
office.
Best
not
shine
a
light
on
the
elements
of
those
offenses.
And
while
Martin’s
making
up
laws
for
Elon,
he
also
took
some
time
to
concoct
this
goofy
threat
against
Senator
Chuck
Schumer.
Schumer’s
remarks
were
a
rhetorical
callback
to
Kavanaugh’s
own
statement
“I
fear
that
the
whole
country
will
reap
the
whirlwind,”
when
Kavanaugh
bemoaned
the
possibility
that
America
might
actually
scrutinize
guys
like
him.
And
the
price
Schumer
referred
to
was
the
shellacking
Republicans
took
at
the
polls
after
the
Supreme
Court
took
to
playing
Mad
Libs
with
constitutional
law.
A
whirlwind
that
Trump
just
now
managed
to
overcome.
This
is
not
a
serious
law
enforcement
inquiry,
but
trying
to
bully
a
sitting
Senator
can
score
some
social
media
buzz.
Schumer,
of
course,
remembers
when
public
officials
were
actually
threatened
by
the
Capitol
rioters
that
Martin
spent
the
last
few
years
trying
to
release.
On
the
spectrum
of
threats
against
public
officials,
telling
a
bloodthirsty
audience
to
“fight
like
hell”
—
as
Trump
did
on
January
6
—
comes
much
closer
to
the
mark
than
any
of
this
stuff.
Again,
Martin
has
no
interest
in
pulling
that
thread.
This
isn’t
enforcing
“law”
so
much
as
prosecutorial
cosplay.
His
tenure
as
interim
U.S.
Attorney
is
a
taxpayer-funded
performance
piece.
Unfortunately
it’s
one
we’re
going
to
be
stuck
with
for
a
while.
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
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Follow
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Bluesky
if
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Joe
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