(Photo
by
MANDEL
NGAN/AFP
via
Getty
Images)
In
the
final
sprint
before
election
day,
Donald
Trump
is
still
finding
time
for
his
second
favorite
hobby.
No, not
fantasizing
on
television
about
his
enemies
getting
executed
by
firing
squad.
After
golf,
Trump’s
favorite
thing
in
the
world
is
filing
frivolous
lawsuits.
Nothing
makes
this
man
happier
than
suing
the
Pulitzer
Prize
board
for
defamation.
Or
suing
Facebook
for
tortious
deplatforming.
Or
suing
Hillary
Clinton
for
doing
the
RICO
to
him.
And
Trump
definitely
had
the
time
yesterday,
filing
a
complaint
against
CBS
for
daring
to
edit
an
interview
with
Kamala
Harris
on
its
October
5
news
show
60
Minutes.
Trump,
whose
constant
stream
of
invective
and
verbal
diarrhea
is
routinely
“sanewashed”
by
the
press,
was
incensed
that
Harris’s
more
nuanced
answer
on
the
war
in
Gaza
was
truncated
during
the
original
broadcast.
On
Truth
Social,
he
screamed
that
CBS’s
non-existent
broadcast
license
should
be
revoked.
“RELEASE
THE
TAPES
FOR
THE
GOOD
OF
AMERICA,”
he
continued
menacingly.
“We
can
do
it
the
nice
way,
or
the
hard
way!”
But
apparently
CBS
refused
to
play
ball,
and
so
Trump
had
to
do…
whatever
the
hell
this
is.
The
former
president
is
a
Florida
resident,
and
CBS
is
headquartered
in
New
York.
So
naturally
the
trollsuit
was
filed
in
Texas,
specifically
the
Amarillo
division
of
the
Northern
District,
where
it
was
guaranteed
to
draw
Trump’s
handpicked
viper,
Judge
Matthew
Kacsmaryk.
Kacsmaryk
famously
reversed
the
2000
authorization
for
mifepristone,
the
drug
relied
upon
for
medication
abortions,
because
sometimes
women
come
into
the
emergency
rooms
bleeding
out
of
their
whatevers,
and
it
makes
anti-choice
doctors
feel
icky.
“Venue
is
proper
in
this
district
under
28
U.S.C.
§1391(b)(2)
and
(b)(3)
because
a
substantial
part
of
the
events
or
omissions
giving
rise
to
President
Trump’s
claims
occurred
in
this
District
by
virtue
of
the
Interview
being
transmitted
by
CBS
into
this
District
(and
elsewhere)
and
because
CBS
is
subject
to
this
Court’s
personal
jurisdiction
with
respect
to
this
action,”
Trump’s
lawyers
wrote
glibly.
The
complaint
alleges
that
CBS
violated
Texas’s
Deceptive
Trade
Practices-Consumer
Protection
Act
by
failing
to
“provide
honest
services
by
engaging
in
false,
misleading,
deceptive,
and,
therefore,
unconscionable
and
detrimental
news
distortion.”
But
how
does
a
national
news
broadcast,
which
enjoys
the
highest
level
of
First
Amendment
protection,
violate
a
state
law
meant
to
shield
Meemaw
from
unlicensed
roofing
contractors?
President
Trump
is
a
“consumer”
within
the
meaning
of
the
DTPA,
since
he
is
an
individual
who
sought
and
received
CBS’s
broadcast
services.
Moreover,
as
the
leading
presidential
candidate,
President
Trump
will
be
evaluated
by
the
Texas
electorate
–
and
the
electorate
in
all
states—on
November
5,
2024.
As
such,
President
Trump
stands
in
the
shoes
of
each
Texas
voter
entitled
to
the
honest
services
expected
from
CBS-owned
and
affiliated
television
stations
in
Texas.
Well,
obviously.
The
complaint
is
full
of
string
cites,
not
to
federal
or
state
cases,
but
to
tweets
by
Fox
News
anchors
and
Breitbart
articles,
as
well
as
an
FCC
complaint
filed
by
Trump’s
allies.
There
are
pages
and
pages
of
indignant
snorting
about
“Kamala’s
‘word
salad’
weakness.”
This
indulgent
hackery
is
perhaps
unsurprising
from
Daniel
Epstein,
the
lawyer
who
bragged
to
Maria
Bartiromo
that
Trump
was
going
to
sue
the
DOJ
for
$100
million
plus
punitive
damages
for
the
Mar-a-Lago
raid,
seemingly
unaware
that
the
Federal
Tort
Claims
Act
specifically
bars
punitive
damages.
Indeed
Trump,
who
is
not
the
president,
is
referred
to
throughout
as
“President
Trump.”
Vice
President
Harris
is
referred
to
as
“Kamala.”
Trump,
whose
entire
campaign
apparatus
including
PACs,
raised
just
over
a
billion
dollars
during
the
entire
electoral
cycle,
demands
that
CBS
pay
him
$10
billion
because
one
interview
a
month
before
the
campaign
“damaged
President
Trump’s
fundraising
and
support
values
by
several
billions
of
dollars,
particularly
in
Texas.”
A
stickler
might
note
that
the
putative
billions
in
lost
donations
would
have
accrued
to
the
campaign
itself,
not
to
Trump
personally.
And
that
stickler
might
also
note
that
the
DTPA
specifically
excludes
businesses
with
more
than
$25
million
of
assets
from
recovery.
But
presumably
the
jurisdiction,
venue,
and
First
Amendment
issues
will
doom
this
clunker
before
picayune
issues
of
state
law
come
into
play.
On
the
other
hand,
Judge
Reed
O’Connor
is
allowing
Twitter
to
get
discovery
on
Media
Matters
in
Fort
Worth,
so…
who
TF
knows.
Liz
Dye lives
in
Baltimore
where
she
produces
the
Law
and
Chaos substack and podcast.