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It’s that time of year when we have the same discussions we had last year:
- What’s the best way to cook a turkey for Thanksgiving?
- Didn’t the holiday decorations for December come out earlier this year?
- What’s the most important advice to give to students studying for finals?
The answers to the first two questions appear at the end of this post. The answer to the third question is: Don’t be your own worst enemy. That answer requires some explanation.
I’ve written before about being your own worst enemy during finals. Previously, the focus of my post was on patience. Today it is about the negative self-talk I frequently hear from students during this time of year (and again in May).
Negative self-talk is damaging to your studying. It is like climbing a mountain with a 50-pound weight on your ankle. It kills your productivity and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Here’s how: Studies show that if you engage in negative self-talk, you’re more likely to be stressed and more likely to have lower self-esteem. You are, in effect, setting yourself up for failure. The more you tell yourself you can’t do something, the more likely you are to try to prove yourself right.
Don’t believe me? Ask Luke Skywalker. Luke’s attempt to use the Force to lift his X-Wing fighter out of the marsh on Dagobah in “The Empire Strikes Back” is perhaps the most famous example of negative self-talk. Luke is convinced he cannot lift the fighter. Yoda scolds him. “Always with you it cannot be done.” Master Yoda is pointing out the terrible habit Luke has set upon himself. Starting from the position that something cannot be done assures you cannot do it.
Luke says, “I’ll give it a try.” Yoda replies, “No. Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Yoda is telling Luke to visualize success. “Try” is a halfway house wherein there is doubt as to ability. Visualizing success actually helps achieve it. There’s science behind this.
Luke fails, and Yoda shows that he can lift the ship up. Luke says, “I don’t believe it.” Yoda replies, “That is why you fail.” Luke was catastrophizing, as he was prone to do. The effects of doing so as you study is to render your studying meaningless. “I’ll never learn this stuff!” “I’m going to fail!” “I’m so screwed!” Yep, you are. And the reason is that you are trying to study with increased stress, more self-doubt, a more closed mind, and in a state in which you are not open to information.
Over time, repeatedly engaging in negative self-talk that can lead to feelings of depression and despair. Attempting to study with those feelings is like climbing a mountain with a 500-pound weight on your ankle. That is the cycle of negative self-talk: It feeds itself, and the thing it is feeding on is your self-esteem. The more you engage in the behavior, the heavier the weight around your ankle.
There are many ways to pause the negative self-talk, and, over time, to minimize it. But that takes mental training and practice. Until then, you can deploy some techniques as you study:
- Reframing. Reframing means taking the negative self-talk and turning it into something positive. There are some examples here. Instead of saying “I’m going to fail” reframe to “I’m going to succeed.” Or, “I’m going to win.”
- Stop it! When you catch yourself engaged in negative self-talk, tell yourself to stop. Say it aloud. And then reframe. This helps you avoid focusing on the negative. Often times we can spend a good deal of time focusing and feeding our fears and catastrophizing.
- Clear your mind. Many people advocate meditation. I have become one of them, as I’ve started to engage in the practice more frequently. It is a way to bring your mind calm, and be centered. Even if you don’t meditate, a few moments of exercise, changing scenery, or just breathing can help you emerge from the negative self-talk. (The most hilarious self-talk I’ve engaged in was “I can’t sit still long enough to meditate.”)
- Check in with a true friend. Sometimes talking to someone who wants you to win can help you reframe. Often times, we dismiss these friends because they couldn’t possibly know what we’re going through (even if they have gone through it themselves). But, a true friend will help us see ourselves through their eyes, and not through our own distorted view. But make sure it is a true friend, not someone who will join in the negative self-talk.
- Be your own best friend. The question you should ask yourself is: “What would you tell your best friend if they were in your situation?” The answer is never: “You’re going to fail! You’re screwed! You might as well drop out of law school!” The answer is never that, because you treat your best friends with compassion and kindness. Start doing that with yourself as well.
Good luck on your finals. You got this.
Answers to the First Two Questions:
- There is no good way to cook a turkey. It’s going to be dry. Here’s my argument.
- I saw my first store Christmas tree in September.
LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here. He is way funnier on social media, he claims. Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.