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Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome Rachel Dane to our pages.
When I was applying to law school, my boss at the time told me to “not bother with law school” because I was just going to “work my way up to motherhood.” While it is not always this explicit, women often get the message that they can be mommies or lawyers — not both.
This message is continually reinforced by many factors, including unequal distribution of the household workload between men and women, beliefs around traditional gender roles, and law firm culture. The purpose of this article is to discuss straightforward ways that law firm culture can better support mother attorneys.
Mothers bring valuable intellectual capital to the firms that employ them. Not necessarily because motherhood makes us better at multitasking (it does) or creative problem solving (it does that, too) but because we are intelligent human beings in our own right. Our ability to contribute intellectually does not disappear when we have children. We continue to be good attorneys that happen to have legitimate and important demands on our time. Further, most law firms have clients who are parents or who deal with subject matter that will involve parenting (however tangentially). Our inside knowledge of parenting can help with client relations and sometimes even the legal subject matter of our cases. (Pro tip: if you want to get clients — or any parents for that matter — to like you, ask them about their children and gush over pictures of them.)
Start With Understanding. Moms have a lot on their plates. My husband and I recently quantified the amount of work required to raise our daughter during the week. My toddler requires 7.5 hours of work per day. This does not include play time, snuggle time, time spent watching TV, or her time spent in daycare. This is one relatively low-maintenance child. I am the exception to the rule, in that my husband and I split this labor evenly, which makes a huge difference in my ability to thrive as an attorney. When you work with a mother, especially a single mother or a mother of a special-needs child, that woman is working the equivalent of two full-time jobs. Her mommy job requires her to be on the clock 24 hours a day and is full of emotional heartache and joy. Switching between the challenging subject matter of motherhood and law requires a high degree of emotional and intellectual intelligence. Other people may be able to disconnect and have downtime when they leave their practice, but that is not really feasible for many parents.
Lead By Example. All the supportive HR policies in the world mean very little if the culture does not support what is important to an employee. We are social beings who are acutely attuned to the customs of our workplaces. This is why, when I speak with a new hire at my firm, I make it a priority to say things like, “I am not available from X time to X time every day because I have to pick my daughter up from school. You can leave me a message if you need to, but I will not return your call until after she is asleep.” If I have a parent-teacher conference, I put it on my shared calendar as such. This way, my employees can see with their own eyes that this is acceptable behavior in my firm.
Be Flexible. Building flexibility into your office culture can help support mothers. While I would argue these procedures are good for all lawyers, they are especially beneficial to mothers. Allowing attorneys to work from home (even just a few days a week) lets them shift some of the mental load that goes into preparing for the office to focusing on their work or self-care. This also facilitates reasonable breaks better and allows attorneys to return to their work more refreshed. If you are able to, allowing mothers to work nontraditional hours is another great way to support them. Some of the best work my attorneys do takes place after their children have gone to bed. Lastly, consider part-time or contract work for mothers. That way, your firm can save resources while still retaining the intellectual capital mothers bring.
While the pros and cons of the above recommendations will vary depending on the lawyer and firm in question, it is worth at least considering paradigm shifts to support working mothers. Personally, some of the best lawyers I work with are properly supported mothers.
Rachel Dane is the founder and managing partner for The Survivors’ Legal Institute in Longmont, Colorado. Rachel and her firm represent survivors of domestic and sexual violence in family law cases. She is a mother of a beautiful toddler and passionate about feminist lawyering. You can email her at Rachel@SurvivorsLegalInstitute.com, or connect with her on LinkedIn.