(Photo
by
Saul
Loeb-Pool/Getty
Images)
Donald
Trump
is
assembling
the
greatest
team
of
trolls
the
world
has
ever
seen.
This
afternoon
he
announced
the
nomination
of
Florida
Rep.
Matt
Gaetz
to
be
attorney
general.
Of
the
United
States.
Of
America.
Armed
with
nothing
more
than
a
JD
and
an
unshakable
belief
that
Donald
Trump
should
be
allowed
to
do
crimes,
the
Florida
congressman
aims
to
become
the
highest
law
enforcement
officer
in
the
land.
Sure
he
doesn’t
appear
to
have
ever
tried
a
case
in
federal
court;
nor
is
he
a
member
of
any
federal
bar.
And
he
did
get
reprimanded
by
the
Florida
State
Bar
for
unprofessional
conduct
after
he
attempted
to
intimidate
Michael
Cohen
by
falsely
implying
that
he’d
engaged
in
an
extramarital
affair.
But
Gaetz
did
practice
for
a
few
years
at
a
civil
litigation
firm
in
Florida,
so
he’s
got
a
big
leg
up
on
that
Garland
guy,
with
his
federal
clerkships,
his
leadership
in
the
prosecutions
of
the
Unabomber
and
the
Oklahoma
City
Bomber,
and
his
years
on
the
DC
Circuit.
What
a
relief
that
the
DOJ
will
finally
be
in
safe
hands!
Although
perhaps
Gaetz’s
staff
would
be
wise
to
steer
clear
of
those
hands,
since
Gaetz
has
been
in
the
center
of
investigations
involving
sex
parties
with
minors
for
years.
His
colleagues
in
Congress
report
that
he
would
often
subject
them
to
to
naked
images
on
his
phone
of
women
he
claimed
to
have
had
sex
with.
On
the
plus
side,
that
House
Ethics
investigation
is
probably
over!
And
maybe
someone
at
Main
Justice
can
finally
show
Rep.
Horndog
how
to
lock
down
his
Venmo.
Perhaps
this
is
why
Trump
is
demanding
the
right
to
recess
appoint
half
the
executive
branch
—
some
of
these
stinkers
might
not
even
pass
muster
in
a
54-46
Senate.
But
the
night
is
still
young.
Perhaps
we
can
get
Don
Jr
as
head
of
the
Office
of
National
Drug
Control
Policy.
Catturd
as
Secretary
of
Agriculture?
We
are
all
accelerationists
now.
Liz
Dye lives
in
Baltimore
where
she
produces
the
Law
and
Chaos substack and podcast.