(Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Move fast and flood things! Clearly that’s the motto of the pack of wall-mounters trying to build the GoFundMe border barrier on the banks of the Rio Grande. We Build the Wall, a Florida group, led by veteran Brian Kolfage, a triple amputee from Arizona whose heroic reputation took a hit after his accounts got banned from Facebook for finding THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK to monetize fake news, hopes to raise a billion dollars to build Trump’s wall. They’ve got the backing of Steve Bannon, Kris Kobach, and a bunch of skeevy dudes who think they’re all that stands between America and Taco Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. So, call now with your bank routing number!
Fresh off a rousing success in New Mexico jamming in a fence and dealing with the permits and massive community objection after the fact, the group set its sights on the fragile ecosystem of Texas’s Lower Rio Grande Valley. Because the only way to make America great again is by clearcutting a three-mile stretch of river bank and slapping up an 18-foot barrier in a floodplain, of course. And they would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for a bunch of badass butterfly enthusiasts delivering a dose of Texas justice.
DON’T MESS WITH THE LEPIDOPTERISTS, MAN. It never goes well.
On Tuesday, Hidalgo County District Judge Keno Vasquez issued a temporary restraining order to halt construction on a privately owned sugarcane farm next to the National Butterfly Center nature preserve. Because — if you’re stupid enough to erect a giant dam 25 feet away from the Rio Grande in the floodplain — your neighbors get flooded, too.
As local activist and researcher Scott Nicol told the Texas Observer, “If their wall goes up beside the Rio Grande, it will dam water, it will likely collapse and be swept away and the resulting tangle of twisted bollards will put lives and property downriver at risk. … Their publicity stunt could kill people.”
Or maybe Big Butterfly is just in bed with the Sinaloa cartel!
When asked about the TRO by the Washington Post, Kolfage initially accused reporters of making the whole thing up, saying, “I would put a 50/50 chance this is fake news, and if it’s not it will be crushed legally pretty fast.”
On Tuesday, he tweeted a video by “Foreman Mike” promising that fencing would start going up in 48 hours.
Alas, Fisher Industries, Trump’s favorite construction company out of North Dakota, which was miraculously awarded a border wall contract by the U.S. government despite the Army Corps of Engineers saying the design didn’t meet government standards, had other ideas. The company says it won’t begin construction in Texas until the International Boundary and Water Commission signs off, and the judge lifts the TRO.
They must be IN ON IT, TOO!
The next hearing is in two weeks, which is probably not enough time for the trees to grow back after Foreman Mike ripped out all the vegetation holding the riverbank in place. As the Texas Observer notes, “In 2008, the Bush administration bought riparian land in Starr County for a wall, but the property vanished into the river during a 2010 flood.” Maybe these carpetbagging geniuses from Arizona, North Dakota, and Kansas could take a break from scream-tweeting pictures of desperate migrants and Google “Texas” + “rainy season” + “floodplain” before their next court appearance. But probably NOT.
Elizabeth Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics.