(Photo
by
Joe
Raedle/Getty)
Pam
Bondi,
former
Florida
Attorney
General
and
the
sort
of
cartoonish
villain
who
fights
Hurricane
Katrina
victims
over
their
pets,
began
her
confirmation
hearings
yesterday
to
serve
as
Donald
Trump’s
Attorney
General.
After
Trump
flopped
trying
to
help
Venmo
enthusiast
Matt
Gaetz,
Bondi
is
seen
as
a
“reasonable”
option.
Even
the
Washington
Post,
which
took
a
tough
stance
against
injecting
itself
into
partisan
disputes
when
it
tanked
an
endorsement
of
Kamala
Harris,
found
the
wherewithal
to
endorse
Bondi
for
the
Department
of
Justice
post
on
the
strength
of
her
tenure
as
Florida
AG
—
where
she
killed
an
investigation
into
the
Trump
University
fraud
after
Trump
bought
her
off.
All
vibes
that
bode
well
for
her
confirmation
because
heaven
knows
her
answers
didn’t.
In
fairness,
the
America
First
Policy
Institute
where
Bondi
prepared
this
brief
(along
with
former
cosplay
Attorney
General,
toilet
industry
trade
scammer,
and
soon-to-be
NATO
Ambassador
Matthew
Whitaker)
advances
a
Herculean
level
of
nonsensical
legal
claims,
so
one
could
say
it’s
understandable
if
she
forgot
one.
Even
if
it’s
a
massively
consequential
position
that
she
took
a
mere
two
months
ago.
Jose
Pagliery
of
NOTUS
helpfully
reminds
us
of
the
brief:
That’s
quite
the
contradiction.
But
let’s
assume,
arguendo,
that
Bondi
isn’t
suffering
from
transient
global
amnesia
and
does
recall
taking
this
position
in
front
of
a
United
States
Court
of
Appeals
in
November
and
she
just
doesn’t
care
about
the
special
counsel
law
now
that
Trump
isn’t
being
prosecuted
by
one.
Or,
more
ominously,
now
that
she
expects
to
use
the
special
counsel
process
herself
to
harass
Trump’s
political
enemies.
Avoiding
hypotheticals…
the
last
refuge
of
the
scoundrel.
While
this
is
a
tactic
that
couldn’t
get
a
1L
out
of
a
cold
call,
DOJ
and
judicial
nominees
pull
this
in
Senate
confirmation
hearings
all
the
time.
In
the
Trump
administration,
Republican
nominees
used
this
to
avoid
answering
whether
or
not
they
intended
to
bring
back
segregation.
But
as
shady
as
the
“hypothetical”
excuse
may
be
normally,
Bondi
isn’t
being
asked
about
*A*
hypothetical,
she’s
being
asked
about
*HER*
hypothetical.
She
said
it!
On
TV!
Bondi
says
that
“no
one
has
been
prejudged,”
but
she’s
the
one
who
said
“prosecutors
will
be
prosecuted”
which
doesn’t
leave
a
lot
of
wiggle
room.
In
fairness,
a
lot
of
people
who
should
have
read
the
Fourteenth
Amendment
have
started
pleading
ignorance
of
the
Fourteenth
Amendment.
Like
Judge
James
Ho,
who
not
only
understood
the
Fourteenth
Amendment’s
birthright
citizenship
provision
but
got
himself
published
defending
it,
but
now
responds
with
the
Mariah
Carey
“I
don’t
know
her”
meme
anytime
someone
asks
about
this
now
that
Donald
Trump
has
proposed
a
mass
deportation
of
people
born
here.
Not
that
Bondi
didn’t
deliver
her
share
of
Carey
moments:
The
tape
—
which
cost
multiple
Biglaw
lawyers
their
jobs
—
has
been
played
ad
nauseam
over
the
last
four
years.
It’s
a
key
piece
of
evidence
in
an
election
interference
prosecution
that
Bondi
claims
to
be
improper.
How
can
she
know
if
the
case
is
improper
if
she’s
never
heard
the
evidence?
You
all
know
the
answer…
even
if
she
can’t
say
it.
And
those
are
just
the
answers
she
did
give.
But,
like
jazz,
it’s
all
about
the
notes
you
don’t
play.
Bondi
indignantly
declares
she
doesn’t
have
to
answer
the
Committee’s
questions
to
get
confirmed,
which
is
probably
true
given
where
we
are
right
now.
That
said,
the
question
used
to
have
a
certain
Ghostbusters
quality
in
that
any
time
a
Senator
asked
“are
you
going
to
do
something
illegal
for
the
president?”
you
say
NO.
That
answer
seems
to
be
a
disqualifying
one
in
this
administration.
But
the
Washington
Post
is
satisfied,
so
there’s
that.
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
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