Oh this is fantastic. It’s really the best kind of benchslap because you don’t need to know any details about the case to understand the devastating slap this federal judge dropped on the Biglaw firm of Gibson Dunn.
The defendant, One Technologies, is represented by Gibson Dunn, led by partner Brian Robison, and co-counsel, Lynn Pinker Hurst & Schwegmann. In a brief, a reply in support of a motion for reconsideration, defense counsel referred to district court judge Sam A. Lindsay’s interpretation as “nonsensical,” and well, he does not take kindly to that. He analogizes — with citations — using “nonsensical” to calling him stupid, and that is a pretty glaring no-no in the judge’s book.
Take a look at the full benchslap:
Before the court addresses the parties’ arguments, it addresses the statement of counsel for Defendants that the court’s prior interpretation was “nonsensical,” among other things. Defs.’ Reply 1-2. The court takes no umbrage with an attorney disagreeing with its rulings, as at least one party will usually always be adversely affected by what the court does. Disagreement is not uncommon in a highly competitive legal environment. If an attorney believes that the court has made an incorrect ruling concerning a client, the attorney may take advantage of the appellate process.
Defendants’ attorneys’ tone and use of the word “nonsensical” are “beyond the pale.” The court considers the term “nonsensical” to be synonymous with “stupid” and the functional equivalent of using the term “B.S.” This understanding is supported by Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. That Defendants’ counsel would display such effrontery to the court is astounding. In any event, if similar conduct recurs, the court will address such conduct with appropriate sanctions, as it will not tolerate such impertinent conduct. The court places the fault squarely at the feet of Defendants’ counsel, as they are responsible for filing documents, as well as the content therein, with the court. The court now addresses the substantive arguments made by the parties.
So everyone with cases in the Northern District of Texas, update your practice manuals and don’t ever, ever call Judge Lindsay, or any of his arguments, nonsensical again.
Kathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).