Living, as we do, in a world in which fake currencies possess some real (if often declining) value in terms of actual currencies, but which still remain ineffable in the sense that, being immaterial, they cannot be seized or found if the person “holding” them does not want them to be, the story of Gerald Cotten was probably inevitable. Cotten created the cryptocurrency exchange QuadrigaCX, built up a user base of 115,000 with $140 million in crypto between then, then (allegedly) transferred a bunch of “funds” to himself and others, created all sorts of aliases on Quadriga to trade, and then up and died in India a year ago, either of a heart attack or Crohn’s disease, depending on who you ask, taking the passwords to all of his digital wallets (and all of his customers’ fake money) with him to his grave, to which we now turn.