Ex-Biglaw Partner Sentenced To Time Behind Bars After Pleading Guilty To Tax Crimes – Above the Law

Back
in
May,
a
former
Biglaw
partner
pleaded
guilty
to
two
misdemeanor
counts
of
failing
to
pay
his
income
taxes
in
2016
and
2020,
and
it
was
likely
that
he

could
face
time
in
federal
prison
.
Earlier
this
week,
his
sentence
was
handed
down.

Eric
Lenzen,
44,
who
formerly
worked
as
a
partner
at
Husch
Blackwell,
where
he
led
the
firm’s
financial
services
and
capital
markets
group,
and
later
lateraled
to
Dykema
Gossett.
He
was
working
at
Husch
during
the
tax
years
in
question,
where
his
ongoing
legal
problems
caused
issues
that
followed
him
to
Dykema.

Lenzen

who
according
to
federal
prosecutors
“spent
lavishly
on
private
planes,
jewelry,
and
golf
memberships

was
sentenced
to
16
months
in
prison.

Reuters

has
additional
details
on
his
sentence:

Prosecutors
sought
16
months
for
Lenzen,
arguing
in
an
Oct.
8
sentencing
memo
that
his
failure
to
pay
taxes
was
“not
a
one-time
poor
decision
nor
a
single
mistake.”

Instead,
it
was
“an
extended
course
of
conduct”
in
which
Lenzen
“repeatedly
lied
to
IRS
employees
and
moved
and
transferred
money
so
that
he
could
avoid
paying
taxes
while
continuing
to
enjoy
living
extravagantly,”
assistant
U.S.
Attorney
Julie
Stewart
said.

Final
restitution
has
not
yet
been
set,
but
Lenzen
has
already
admitted
that
he
owes
more
than
$3.9
million
in
unpaid
taxes,
including
interest
and
accrued
penalties.
Best
of
luck
to
Eric
Lenzen
as
he
transitions
from
Biglaw
to
the
Big
House.


Ex-partner
at
US
law
firms
Husch,
Dykema
sentenced
for
tax
crimes

[Reuters]


Earlier
:

Ex-Biglaw
Partner
Pleads
Guilty
To
Tax
Crimes,
May
Serve
Time
Behind
Bars



Staci ZaretskyStaci
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War Vets demand halt on land sales, call for national dialogue

Speaking
at
a
press
conference
at
the
Bulawayo
Media
Centre
on
Tuesday,
ZNLWVA
Chairperson
Andreas
Ethan
Mathibela
criticised
the
government
for
making
this
decision
without
consulting
the
public
through
a
referendum.
He
believes
the
move
will
benefit
elites
while
sidelining
ordinary
Zimbabweans.

“I
can
guarantee
you,
the
minute
that
pronouncement
was
made,
the
entire
nation,
war
veterans
included,
were
taken
aback.
Society
is
saying,
‘You
people
didn’t
go
to
war
just
to
acquire
land
and
then
sell
it,’”
Mathibela
stated.

He
questioned
the
logic
behind
the
policy,
expressing
concern
for
future
generations.
“Who
are
we
selling
it
to?
What
will
happen
to
our
future
generation
when
we
sell
the
land
that
many
lives
were
lost
fighting
for?
I
hope
society
misunderstood
what
the
government
said,
but
it
was
live
on
television
when
they
made
the
announcement.”

Mathibela
noted
that
Zimbabwe’s
land
is
finite,
stating,
“The
land
will
not
expand
beyond
the
borders
of
Mozambique,
Zambia,
Namibia,
Botswana,
and
South
Africa.
That
means
once
you
sell
the
land,
only
a
few
people
will
hold
onto
it.”

He
voiced
concerns
that
the
policy
would
primarily
benefit
a
small,
privileged
group,
leaving
many,
including
war
veterans,
without
land.
“I
can
speak
on
behalf
of
war
veterans—about
75
to
80
percent
have
not
been
allocated
land,
the
very
land
they
fought
for,
including
myself.
I
don’t
even
have
a
piece
of
land.
So,
the
question
is,
who
owns
the
land
right
now?”
he
asked.

Mathibela
further
argued
that
allowing
the
sale
of
land
would
hurt
Zimbabwe’s
agricultural
potential,
as
land
intended
for
farming
could
be
repurposed
for
private
development.
“When
you
sell
land,
the
buyer
is
not
obligated
to
engage
in
agriculture.
Some
just
subdivide
it
for
housing.
Land
that
was
meant
for
farming
is
being
privatized.
People
get
title
deeds
and
can
do
whatever
they
want,”
he
explained.

He
also
criticised
the
government’s
focus
on
compensating
white
former
landowners
over
providing
land
to
Zimbabweans.
“There
is
a
$3.5
billion
compensation
bill
for
former
white
farmers,
yet
many
of
us
who
fought
for
this
land
remain
without
it.
Does
that
make
sense?
Personally,
it
does
not,”
he
remarked.

Reflecting
on
the
sacrifices
made
during
the
liberation
struggle,
Mathibela
called
for
a
national
consultation,
urging
the
government
to
involve
all
Zimbabweans
in
decisions
about
land
ownership.
“We
must
be
careful
and
respect
our
citizens
by
consulting
them.
If
we
all
agree
to
sell
the
land,
then
it’s
on
all
of
us,
but
that
decision
cannot
come
from
a
few
individuals,”
he
insisted.

Mathibela
also
compared
Zimbabwe’s
land
struggles
to
international
conflicts.
“Look
at
Palestine
and
Israel—they
are
fighting
for
their
ancestral
land,
even
if
it’s
a
desert.
We
must
fight
for
our
fertile
land.”

He
concluded
by
declaring
the
war
veterans’
firm
stance
against
the
sale
of
land.
“We
declare
that
land
must
not
be
sold
to
anyone,
black
or
white.
The
land
is
God-given
and
must
be
utilised
by
all
Zimbabweans,
including
veterans.
We
do
not
support
this
initiative,”
he
affirmed.

“As
a
constituency,
we
also
line
up
to
apply
for
land
to
be
productive.
What
we
are
against
is
selling
land.
If
the
land
I
fought
for
is
sold
and
I
can’t
access
it,
that
means
you
and
I
are
going
to
have
a
problem,”
Mathibela
warned.

Zimbabwe to pay $20m to former farmers by year-end


By
Costa
Nkomo

This
payment
is
part
of
a
multi-year
compensation
plan,
focusing
on
claims
protected
under
the
Bilateral
Investment
Promotion
and
Protection
Agreement
(BIPPA).

Speaking
to
journalists
after
a
dialogue
meeting
with
development
partners
in
Harare,
Prof
Ncube
confirmed
that
the
US$20
million
will
be
paid
out
before
year-end,
with
subsequent
payments
to
follow
annually.

“Specifically
on
the
matter
of
compensation
for
former
farmers,”
he
said,
“as
you
know,
we
set
aside
in
the
budget
US$20
million
equivalent
for
that
compensation,
which
is
set
to
begin
in
earnest
in
this
last
quarter.”

Despite
this
initial
payment,
a
substantial
debt
remains.
Zimbabwe
still
owes
US$176
million
to
former
farm
owners
under
BIPPA,
covering
94
claims.
The
largest
claims
come
from
the
Netherlands,
followed
by
Switzerland
and
Germany.

“We
have
been
going
through
a
verification
process,
and
that
process
has
produced
credible
results,”
Ncube
explained.
“We
know
who
they
are.
This
is
a
multi-year
program,
not
a
one-off.
Next
year,
we
will
continue
with
the
compensation
process
until
all
liabilities
are
settled.”

In
addition
to
BIPPA
claims,
the
government
has
received
441
claims
totalling
US$351.6
million
under
the
Global
Compensation
Deed.
Professor
Ncube
noted
that
US$3.5
million
of
this
will
be
paid
by
the
end
of
the
year,
representing
just
one
percent
of
the
total
claims
under
the
deed.

The
European
Union
Ambassador
to
Zimbabwe,
Jobst
von
Kirchmann,
highlighted
the
need
for
a
robust
legal
framework.
“For
now,
it
is
a
policy
and
not
yet
a
law,”
he
said.
“I
think
it
requires
further
discussion.
It’s
important
to
have
a
law
that
meets
the
needs
of
both
the
government
and
farmers,
providing
a
clear
and
effective
solution.”

Ayodele
Odusola,
a
United
Nations
representative,
praised
the
government’s
commitment
to
compensation,
noting
that
it
would
support
Zimbabwe’s
reintegration
into
the
global
economy
and
attract
foreign
investment.

Byo residents frustrated by delays in cash-for-cereal drought relief program

Registration
for
the
program,
which
aims
to
provide
financial
support
to
vulnerable
urban
populations
for
purchasing
cereal
and
other
essential
food
items,
took
place
in
August.

However,
despite
registration
being
completed,
many
residents
have
yet
to
receive
any
assistance.

The
Minister
of
Public
Service,
Labour
and
Social
Welfare,
July
Moyo,
previously
stated
that
6.1
million
people
in
rural
areas
are
currently
receiving
food
handouts,
while
cash
transfers
for
1.7
million
urban
residents
are
still
pending.

President
Emmerson
Mnangagwa
declared
the
El
Niño-induced
drought
a
national
disaster
after
the
2024
ZimLAC
Urban
Livelihoods
Assessment
Report
revealed
that
approximately
35
percent
of
the
urban
population,
or
about
1.7
million
people,
would
face
food
insecurity.

Distribution
of
SIM
cards,
which
are
essential
for
registration
in
the
cash-for-cereal
program,
is
ongoing
in
Bulawayo,
with
residents
from
various
wards
being
invited
to
collect
them.

“You
are
requested
to
come
and
collect
your
NetOne
SIM
card
for
cash-for-cereal
registration
on
the
13th
of
October
at
9
AM
at
Vulindlela
Primary/Mahlathini
Primary.
Please
bring
your
National
ID
card
for
verification,”
read
a
message
received
by
a
resident
in
Cowdray
Park.

Despite
this,
many
residents
remain
concerned
about
the
delay
in
receiving
financial
aid.
“The
year
is
almost
over,
and
the
drought
relief
has
still
not
reached
residents,”
said
Sithokozile
Ncube,
a
local
resident.

Another
resident
expressed
frustration,
stating,
“Everyone
in
Zimbabwe
was
registered
since
we
didn’t
harvest
anything
last
year,
but
now
the
year
is
ending,
and
people
still
haven’t
received
any
relief.”

In
Ward
17,
where
SIM
card
distributions
have
also
taken
place,
Councilor
Sikhululekile
Moyo
acknowledged
that
there
has
been
a
lack
of
information
about
the
program’s
disbursements.
“As
a
councillor,
I
didn’t
have
full
information
about
the
program,
so
it
was
difficult
to
answer
residents’
questions.
The
program
came,
and
residents
received
SIM
cards,
but
there
was
limited
information
shared,”
she
explained.

Councilor
Moyo
stressed
the
importance
of
clear
communication
to
prevent
confusion.
“When
people
don’t
understand
the
process,
many
issues
arise.
Those
who
received
SIM
cards
were
left
uncertain
about
whether
there
would
be
funds
or
how
the
SIM
cards
would
be
used.”

Bulawayo
United
Residents
Association
(BURA)
chairperson
Winos
Dube
echoed
these
concerns,
noting
that
the
program’s
delay
has
caused
distress
among
residents.

“If
people
are
only
receiving
SIM
cards
now,
in
October,
the
program
is
already
late.
By
this
time,
people
should
have
started
receiving
assistance,
especially
since
the
hunger
crisis
began
months
ago.
Now,
with
the
rainy
season
approaching,
people
are
even
more
anxious.”

Dube
added
that
while
residents
still
hope
for
assistance,
the
delays
have
been
disheartening.
“We
should
already
be
talking
about
a
program
that
is
actively
helping
residents.
Yes,
any
assistance
is
welcome,
but
it
has
come
too
late.”

Attempts
to
reach
Minister
of
Public
Service,
Labour
and
Social
Welfare,
July
Moyo,
for
comment,
were
unsuccessful
as
he
did
not
answer
calls
or
respond
to
messages.

‘Zanu PF needs succession plan’, war vets faction leader

Zanu
PF
is
facing
increasing
pressure
to
amend
the
constitution,
which
could
potentially
extend
or
remove
presidential
term
limits,
allowing
President
Mnangagwa
to
remain
in
power
beyond
2028
when
his
current
term
ends.

However,
Mathibela
argues
that
this
approach
is
not
in
the
best
interests
of
the
country
or
the
war
veterans,
advocating
instead
for
a
democratic
transition.

Mathibela’s
comments
come
amid
rising
dissatisfaction
within
Zanu
PF
and
among
the
broader
population
regarding
the
push
to
extend
Mnangagwa’s
tenure.

While
war
veterans
have
traditionally
been
a
strong
base
of
support
for
the
ruling
party,
there
appears
to
be
growing
division
on
this
issue,
with
Mathibela’s
faction
opposing
the
proposed
constitutional
changes.

Speaking
to
journalists
in
Bulawayo
on
Tuesday,
Mathibela
criticised
a
recent
elective
congress
in
Gweru
led
by
Christopher
Mutsvangwa’s
faction,
describing
it
as
an
attempt
to
secure
support
among
war
veterans
for
Mnangagwa’s
2030
agenda.

“To
me,
war
veterans
were
the
only
group
that
had
not
publicly
endorsed
the
2030
agenda,”
Mathibela
remarked.
“Those
pushing
this
agenda
organized
the
congress
to
find
someone
who
would
endorse
the
2030
mantra,
but
in
truth,
it
does
not
benefit
the
majority
of
war
veterans.”

Mathibela
condemned
efforts
to
amend
the
constitution
for
personal
gain,
insisting
that
such
decisions
should
follow
broad
consultations
with
Zimbabweans.

“We
gain
nothing
from
advocating
for
a
constitutional
amendment
for
2030.
Who
does
it
benefit?”
he
questioned.
“There
has
been
talk
among
the
public,
and
among
veterans,
that
there
must
be
wide
consultation
in
the
spirit
of
national
unity.”

He
said
there
is
a
need
for
a
well-defined
succession
plan
within
Zanu
PF,
allowing
for
a
democratic
process
in
choosing
the
next
party
and
national
leader.

“The
succession
plan
should
be
encouraged
because
it
allows
us
to
support
candidates
who
align
with
our
vision.
It
shouldn’t
be
the
exclusive
right
of
a
political
party,
as
this
country
belongs
to
all
of
us.”

Mathibela
stressed
that
any
future
leader
should
be
a
unifier,
free
from
tribal
biases,
and
committed
to
tackling
corruption.

“The
succession
plan
must
identify
candidates
who
embody
these
qualities
as
we
approach
2028,”
he
added.

He
also
highlighted
the
importance
of
allowing
war
veterans
and
the
general
public
to
openly
discuss
and
support
potential
leaders
within
Zanu
PF.

“We
have
had
public
debates
in
our
circles
about
the
need
for
a
succession
plan.
It’s
our
constitutional
right
to
say
who
we
think
should
be
next
in
line
and
to
campaign
openly,
grooming
future
leaders
in
the
process,”
Mathibela
said.

“Personally,
I
may
have
a
preferred
candidate,
but
that’s
my
right—I
don’t
want
to
impose
my
choice
on
others
who
might
feel
differently.”

Mathibela
suggested
that
seniority
should
be
a
key
factor
in
selecting
a
leader
within
Zanu
PF.

“We
can’t
have
leaders
imposed
on
us
without
knowing
their
backgrounds.
A
leader
should
naturally
emerge,
and
we
believe
in
respecting
seniority.
We
have
senior
figures,
and
they
should
be
supported.”

He
added,
“You
can’t
just
bring
in
someone
new
to
protect
your
interests.
Leadership
should
reflect
the
people’s
choice,
and
a
succession
plan
must
be
prioritized
because
Zanu
PF
belongs
to
the
people—who
better
to
decide
than
the
people
themselves?”

Mathibela
stated
that
a
proper
succession
plan
is
not
only
in
Zanu
PF’s
interest
but
also
in
the
national
interest,
ensuring
that
Zimbabwe
remains
on
a
path
of
unity
and
democratic
governance.

“That’s
all
we
are
praying
for
in
a
democratic
space,
succession
must
be
encouraged,”
he
said.

Civil servants receive US$40 pay increase, says union

HARARE

Government
workers
will
get
a
salary
increment
which
will
see
wages
elevated
from
the
current
US$324
per
month
to
US$364
for
the
lowest
paid
employee
backdated
to
September,
a
union
representing
civil
servants
has
said.

The
wage
review
represents
an
increase
of
just
US$40
for
each
one
of
the
country’s
troubled
public
workforce.

In
a
statement,
the
Zimbabwe
Confederation
of
Public
Sector
Trade
Unions
(ZCPSTU)
said
the
increase
was
the
outcome
of
protracted
negotiations
between
government
and
workers’
representatives.

“In
the
end,
the
employer
committed
to
pay
as
follows;
Review
of
salary
by
US$40
across
the
board
for
the
grades
of
Deputy
Director
and
below
with
effect
from
September
1,
2024


“Resultantly,
the
lowest
Grade
B1
will
move
from
a
salary
of
US$324
to
US$364
effective
1st
of
September
2024,”
said
the
union
on
Tuesday.

Government
also
committed
to
paying
its
workers
annual
bonus
over
two
months.

“The
2024
bonus
will
paid
in
November
and
December
2024
with
the
payment
modalities
to
be
announced
soon,”
said
the
union.

In
the
negotiations,
workers’
representatives
demanded
that
the
increment
be
paid
in
US
dollars
in
light
of
the
exchange
rate
turbulence
the
ZiG
has
been
experiencing
recently.

But
government
however
said
it
could
not
pay
more
due
to
its
parallel
commitments
towards
ameliorating
the
effects
of
the
El
Nino
induced
drought
that
has
left
millions
starving.

Added
the
union,
“The
initial
offer
of
US$31
million
converted
to
local
currency
was
dismissed
as
inadequate
by
the
workers
on
two
occasions.

“The
employer
increased
the
envelope
to
US$41
million
but
insisted
that
it
will
be
paid
in
local
currency
at
the
prevailing
bank
rate
with
effect
from
1
September
2024.

“The
employer
cited
the
drought,
lower
than
expected
United
States
Dollar
revenue
inflows
and
the
government’s
policy
shift
towards
de-dollarization
as
reasons
for
the
inability
to
pay
more
than
the
tabled
offer.

“Also
cited
was
the
very
low
ZiG
pay
for
sections
of
the
civil
service
whose
statutory
deductions
are
in
limbo
and
that
the
2024
Mid-term
budget
has
no
provision
for
a
salary
adjustment.”

Mnangagwa withdraws Shava as Foreign Affairs Minister, swaps him with Murwira

HARARE

President
Emmerson
Mnangagwa
has
removed
Frederick
Shava
as
Foreign
and
International
Trade
Minister,
swapping
him
Tuesday
with
Higher
and
Tertiary
Education
Minister
Amon
Murwira.

The
strange
development
was
announced
by
Chief
Secretary
to
the
President
and
Cabinet
Martin
Rushwaya
who
said,
“the
reassignments
are
with
immediate
effect”.

Just
like
in
previous
cabinet
reshuffles,
Rushwaya
did
not
state
any
reasons
behind
the
move.

Shava,
a
veteran
politician
and
diplomat,
was
transferred
from
New
York
where
he
was
Zimbabwe’s
representative
to
the
United
Nations,
to
assume
the
powerful
foreign
affairs
ministry
in
2021.


The
75-year-old
replaced
the
late
Sibusiso
Moyo
in
both
the
Senate
and
as
foreign
minister.

Mnangagwa,
whose
government
had
introduced
an
ambitious
reengagement
drive
with
a
hostile
West,
hoped
Shava
would
use
his
links
within
the
broader
diplomatic
community
to
advance
the
cause.

What
has
followed
is
further
ostracization
for
the
Zanu
PF
led
administration
which
remains
accused
of
poll
theft,
rights
abuses
and
economic
mismanagement.

Murwira,
on
his
part,
has
also
acted
as
Foreign
Affairs
Minister
before.

Cabinet speaks on power supply shortages amid prolonged blackouts

HARARE

The
Zimbabwean
government
says
it
has
approved
a
series
of
measures
to
address
the
country’s
power
supply
shortages
as
extended
daily
blackouts
continue
to
disrupt
homes
and
businesses.

In
a
Cabinet
briefing
Tuesday,
Information
Minister
Jenfan
Muswere
said
the
interventions
aim
to
boost
local
electricity
generation
and
stablize
the
national
grid.

Presently,
Zimbabwe
faces
a
power
generation
deficit
of
up
to
400
megawatts
and
relies
on
importing
between
200
and
500
megawatts
from
neighbouring
countries
to
bridge
the
gap.

The
outages,
which
start
at
6AM.
and
last
until
10PM,
leave
residents
without
power
for
up
to
16
hours
daily.


“Cabinet
approved
a
raft
of
measures
to
enhance
the
country’s
power
security,”
Muswere
said,
outlining
a
strategy
that
includes
the
rehabilitation
of
Hwange
Units
1
to
6
under
a
Build,
Operate,
and
Transfer
arrangement
starting
this
year.
The
plan
also
involves
support
from
the
Mutapa
Investment
Fund
to
provide
foreign
currency
for
Independent
Power
Producers
(IPPs),
which
are
key
to
supplementing
the
nation’s
power
needs.

The
government
will
also
streamline
ZESA
Holdings’
management
and
governance
structure.

The
restructuring
is
expected
to
improve
efficiency
in
the
struggling
Zimbabwe
Electricity
Supply
Authority
(ZESA),
which,
despite
recent
tariff
hikes,
continues
to
face
operational
challenges.

To
address
the
growing
reliance
on
solar
power,
ZESA
has
been
instructed
to
promote
and
simplify
the
net-metering
process,
allowing
solar
users
to
sell
excess
energy
back
to
the
grid.

Muswere
noted
that
this
could
increase
the
uptake
of
solar-generated
electricity,
reducing
pressure
on
the
national
grid.

On
power
losses
during
transmission,
Muswere
announced
that
a
joint
venture
between
ZESA’s
transmission
subsidiary,
ZENT,
and
QLV,
a
local
firm,
will
focus
on
manufacturing
cables
locally
to
minimize
losses
and
combat
theft
and
corruption
in
the
power
sector.

The
prolonged
blackouts
have
prompted
many
Zimbabweans
to
turn
to
alternative
energy
sources,
especially
solar
power.

The
government’s
efforts
to
tackle
the
crisis
are
seen
as
critical
to
achieving
the
country’s
Vision
2030
goal
of
attaining
upper-middle-income
status,
but
public
impatience
is
growing
as
the
energy
crisis
threatens
economic
recovery. Kukurigo
Updates

Govt, private sector to rebuild Mbare Traders’ Market razed by fire

HARARE

The
Zimbabwean
government
has
announced
plans
to
rebuild
Mbare
Traders’
Market
after
a
devastating
fire
on
October
8,
while
also
taking
the
opportunity
to
bring
order
to
the
previously
lawless
but
high-volume
marketplace.

The
reconstruction
aims
to
create
a
more
structured
environment
that
facilitates
formalisation
and
ensures
traders
pay
taxes,
Cabinet
said.

Cabinet
approved
the
initiative
in
partnership
with
the
private
sector
during
a
briefing
led
by
Minister
of
Local
Government
and
Public
Works
Daniel
Garwe
on
Tuesday.

The
fire,
which
destroyed
the
market
and
affected
4,695
traders,
prompted
President
Emmerson
Mnangagwa
to
declare
it
a
State
of
Disaster.


“Pertinent
to
note
is
that
similar
fire
incidences
have
been
recorded
at
other
markets
in
the
City
of
Harare,
with
the
primary
causes
being
use
of
highly
combustible
materials
and
lack
of
fire-prevention
infrastructure.
The
Harare
City
Council
does
not
have
the
capacity
to
address
the
incidents,”
Information
minister
Jenfan
Muswere
said
in
a
post-Cabinet
briefing.

To
resolve
this,
the
government
will
partner
with
a
leading
engineering
and
construction
firm
to
rebuild
the
market
using
a
Design,
Engineering,
Procurement,
Construction,
and
Finance
(DEPC+F)
model.

“This
approach
is
expected
to
speed
up
the
creation
of
high-quality
facilities,
enabling
traders
to
resume
operations
in
a
more
orderly
environment
conducive
to
formalisation.

“This
model
will
ensure
that
high-quality
facilities
are
completed
and
commissioned
within
the
shortest
possible
time.
It
will
also
allow
traders
to
resume
operations
in
an
orderly
environment
that
facilitates
formalisation
and
payment
of
taxes,”
Muswere
continued,
adding
that
the
government
plans
to
replicate
this
model
in
other
markets
across
Zimbabwe.

In
the
interim,
Muswere
said,
government
will,
under
the
disaster
management
framework,
provide
the
necessary
livelihood
and
social
assistance
support
to
ensure
that
the
affected
traders
pull
through
the
immediate
difficulties
they
face. Kukurigo

Supreme Court Candidate Calls Out Opponent’s Busted Textualism – Above the Law

Ohio
boasts
a
wild
season
of
Supreme
Court
races,
with
six
competitors
vying
for
three
slots
and
the
potential
to
flip
the
philosophical
lean
of
the
bench.
One
race
features
two
incumbents
squaring
off
with
Justice
Melody
Stewart
defending
her
seat
against
Justice
Joe
Deters
who
is
running
for
Stewart’s
seat
because
it
carries
a
full
term
as
opposed
to
his
current
appointed
seat.

If
the
name
“Joe
Deters”
sounds
familiar,
it’s
because
back
in
July
he

wrote
one
of
the
most
hilariously
nonsensical
exercises
in
intellectually
bankrupt
“textualism”
ever
committed
to
print
.
An
opinion
that
Justice
Stewart

who
dissented
in
the
relevant
decision

wants
the
voters
to
understand
when
they
go
to
the
ballot
box:

For
those
who
don’t
remember,
this
case
involved
a
restaurant
patron
choking
on
a
1-3/8
inch
chicken
bone
cooked
inside
a
“boneless”
wing.
This
might
seem
a
straightforward
failure
on
the
part
of
the
restaurant’s
duty
to
“not
choke
customers,”
and
yet
Justice
Deters
and
his
Republican
colleagues
on
the
Ohio
Supreme
Court
pulled
the
eatery
out
of
the
fryer
so
to
speak
by
declaring
the
plain
text
of
“boneless”
to
mean…
well,
“not
boneless.”

And
regarding
the
food
item’s
being
called
a
“boneless
wing,”
it
is
common
sense
that
that
label
was
merely
a
description
of
the
cooking
style.
A
diner
reading
“boneless
wings”
on
a
menu
would
no
more
believe
that
the
restaurant
was
warranting
the
absence
of
bones
in
the
items
than
believe
that
the
items
were
made
from
chicken
wings,
just
as
a
person
eating
“chicken
fingers”
would
know
that
he
had
not
been
served
fingers.
The
food
item’s
label
on
the
menu
described
a
cooking
style;
it
was
not
a
guarantee.

“Boneless”
is
not
so
much
a
cooking
style
on
par
with
terms
like
“baked”
or
“braised”
if
one
considered
the
plain
meaning
of
that
text
amongst
the
rest
of
us
burdened
by
a
basic
grasp
of
the
English
fucking
language.
But,
unmoored
by
the
vagaries
of
usage,
Deters
found
an
opening
to
channel
his
inner
Lewis
Carroll
and
just
make
up
a
frabjous
new
“boneless”
that
means
“having
giant
ass
bones
in
it.”

Which
is
all
to
say
Ohioans
have
a
pretty
clear
choice
in
November.
You
can
stack
the
Supreme
Court
with
ding
dongs
who
don’t
know
what
the
word
“boneless”
means,
or
you
can
vote
for
Stewart
and
the
Democrats.


Earlier
:

‘Boneless’
Wings
Can
Have
Bones,
Declare
Committed
Textualists




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