Parenting can be tricky. But what about determining who, exactly, is a parent to a child? That should be easy, right? The parent either gave birth to the child, is genetically related to the child, is married to the person who gave birth, or adopted the child. Oh wait, or if they held themselves out as a parent to the child, as we’ll see today. Hmm. Okay, maybe this isn’t so simple.
Courts are increasingly recognizing that families take many forms. Those forms often include unmarried individuals and blurred lines as to who exactly is a parent. The Kansas Supreme Court recently took up such a case, but opted to avoid ruling on the complicated facts, and instead remanded the case for new proceedings in line with state law. Every parent and potential parent, especially those in same-sex relationships in Kansas, should pay close attention.
The Case. On November 6, 2020, the Kansas Supreme Court issued its ruling In the Matter of the Parentage of MF. While there was conflicting evidence on the facts, in short, two women lived together in a relationship. During the relationship, the woman who carried and delivered the child underwent intrauterine insemination with donor sperm to become pregnant. She successfully conceived and gave birth to a child. When the relationship later ended with her significant other, the woman married a man. At that point, the former significant other brought suit for recognition as a parent of the child.
Mixed Evidence. The facts are hotly contested as to the intentions of these two women. The significant other argued that she did in fact want a child, but the parties disputed whether it was ever intended for her to be a parent to the child, and whether she had ever held herself out or acted as a parent. The significant other presented evidence in support of her role as parent, including her presence at the insemination procedure and a joint baby shower held for both women. Other evidence, however, painted a different picture, that of the woman who carried and delivered the child doing all or essentially all of the parenting work, as well as the significant other providing little to no financial support for the child.
The trial court and the court of appeals both ruled in favor of the biological mother, determining that the significant other was not a parent to the child. The court of appeals reasoned that the couple did not have either a written or unwritten parenting agreement in place, and that there did not appear to be a “meeting of minds” between the couple when it came to understanding the significant other as a parent.
Reversed. In an about turn, the Kansas Supreme Court reversed the ruling of the district court and the court of appeals, sending the case back to the district court to reassess the issues with specific instructions. These instructions are important for anyone in Kansas having a child — LGBTQ+ or not — while in a relationship where they are not totally clear that they want their partner to be their child’s parent forever and ever.
Instructions. First, the court found that no agreement of parenting, either written or unwritten, was required under Kansas law to establish a parent-child relationship.
Second, the court found that the parent in question need only show that he or she “notoriously recognize[d]” their maternity/paternity of the child through a preponderance of the evidence (a fairly low standard), to then shift the burden to the other parent to rebut the presumption of that parent-child relationship by clear and convincing evidence. (That’s a very high standard!)
The Sunflower State’s Supreme Court specifically shut down the court of appeals’ erroneous characterization of the “notoriously recognize” standard to include “open and notorious demonstrations of parenting” or “open and notorious assumption of parenting responsibilities.” Those weren’t the right standards, the court said. Ruling that a court need only determine that parent notoriously recognized their parent status at birth, but specifically not requiring any follow through or actually parenting.
Consent, Once Given, Can’t Be Taken Back.
In good news, for parents concerned that anyone in the world can notoriously acknowledge that they are a parent to someone else’s child, the Kansas Supreme Court did apply another standard, not found in Kansas law, but based on U.S. constitutional precedent in a case called Troxel. The Kansas Supreme Court argued that it was indispensable that the woman who carried and delivered have consented to the significant other’s parent-child relationship in the first instance. But once that consent was given, it endowed the significant other with the same and equal right to parenthood. And once that happened, there would be no take-backsies. In other words, if you consent to your partner being a parent to your child at the time of the child’s birth, and partner notoriously acknowledges that they are a parent, you can’t rescind that consent or revoke that right. Even if said partner turns out to be a terrible parent or terrible a person. Maybe both!
Five Take-Aways
I had a chance to speak with Kansas assisted reproductive technology expert attorney Christina Miller about the case. Miller succinctly summarized the 46-page ruling as having five key takeaways:
- When assisted reproductive technologies are utilized to conceive a child, Kansas parentage laws are the appropriate laws to establish parentage, not the state’s adoption laws.
- Kansas parentage laws are now clearly gender-neutral and apply to married and unmarried couples equally, without regard to whether the couple is same- or opposite-sex.
- Written coparenting agreements are best to show intent to parent, but are not required.
- The court will look at the intent of the couple to coparent at the time of the birth to determine if the nonbirth/nonbiological parent has parental rights.
- When the nonbirth parent shows mutual agreement and acceptance/display of parenting at birth of the child, the nonbirth parent is entitled to a presumption of parentage.
While Miller did not include a number six, it is, clearly, to talk to an attorney, like Miller, before you find yourself in this situation.
Ellen Trachman is the Managing Attorney of Trachman Law Center, LLC, a Denver-based law firm specializing in assisted reproductive technology law, and co-host of the podcast I Want To Put A Baby In You. You can reach her at babies@abovethelaw.com.