The Saddest, Worst Thing You’ll Ever Read Is This Martin Shkreli Love Story

This has been, it is safe to say, a difficult year. One filled with loss, loneliness, misery, want, heartbreak, ennui, bad decisions. A year in which misplaced trust in venal people making choices so obviously, blinding wrong at the moment of their making as to assure they’d lead to nothing but entirely preventable and avoidable hardship. A year of otherwise lucky, ostensibly intelligent people doing things they know deep down they shouldn’t but expecting their privilege to see them through to the other side, as so many times before, ensuring that the speeding, oncoming 18-wheeler whose headlights they see heading directly for them won’t hit them, that the inevitable tragedy dictated by those decisions to ignore every red flag and every pleading friend and everything going on around them, the outcome that everyone—even, somewhere deep inside the individual in question—knows is inescapable, will somehow swerve at the last instant, sparing them, but giving the rush that they thought they needed.

These Bonuses Beat The Biglaw Market Rate!

This is getting to be a habit — boutique law firm Selendy & Gay, has, once again, beaten the prevailing market rate for year-end bonuses doled out in Biglaw. We get so used to thinking of Biglaw as the pinnacle of the legal profession, that it’s a good reminder that elite boutiques routinely kill it — and are willing to share that largesse with associates.

Yesterday, Selendy & Gay announced their median bonuses for associates. And, yeah, the scale at the firm blows the door off of the admittedly generous Biglaw grid. Selendy’s scale is as follows:

These are the median bonus amounts for associates who have been with the firm for at least a full year:

Class of 2013:

$174,650

Class of 2014:

$151,130

Class of 2015:

$114,309

Class of 2016:

$108,225

Class of 2017:

$80,850

Class of 2018:

$38,325

Class of 2019:

$28,013

For comparison, a class of 2013 associate at market rate Biglaw firms will take home $140,000 — that’s $100,000 in year-end bonuses and $40,000 in special bonuses. Selendy & Gay is coming in at over $34,000 more than that. For a junior associate in the class of 2019, Selendy & Gay is giving out more than $5k on top of market bonuses ($15,000 year-end plus $7,500 special is the market rate). Sure, these numbers are the median, which of course means some folks making less than that, but, importantly, some folks are making more than that.

Managing Partner Jennifer Selendy had this to say about the firm’s decision to share the wealth with their associates:

“We have had phenomenal success representing plaintiffs and defendants in trailblazing commercial and public interest cases this year, while building an inclusive, values-driven team. Our associates are central to the firm’s achievements, and they deserve commensurate rewards for their extraordinary efforts.”

Congrats to those taking home these hefty paychecks.

Please help us help you when it comes to bonus news at other firms. As soon as your firm’s bonus memo comes out, please email it to us (subject line: “[Firm Name] Bonus”) or text us (646-820-8477). Please include the memo if available. You can take a photo of the memo and send it via text or email if you don’t want to forward the original PDF or Word file.

And if you’d like to sign up for ATL’s Bonus Alerts, please scroll down and enter your email address in the box below this post. If you previously signed up for the bonus alerts, you don’t need to do anything. You’ll receive an email notification within minutes of each bonus announcement that we publish.


headshotKathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).

Morning Docket: 12.22.20

(Paskova/Getty Images)

* Michael Cohen, President Trump’s former lawyer, is arguing for early release from home confinement. To be completely fair, most of us are confined to our homes right now… [Hill]

* Google is facing two more antitrust lawsuits filed by four publishers. [Fox Business]

* The L.A. City Attorney is warning against driving under the influence this holiday season because hospitals are filling up with COVID-19 patients. [KTLA]

* Attorney General Barr has unveiled new charges over the 1988 Lockerbie bombing. [USA Today]

* Netflix has settled a lawsuit with the Conan Doyle estate over the film Enola Holmes. Elementary! [Hollywood Reporter]


Jordan Rothman is a partner of The Rothman Law Firm, a full-service New York and New Jersey law firm. He is also the founder of Student Debt Diaries, a website discussing how he paid off his student loans. You can reach Jordan through email at jordan@rothmanlawyer.com.

Law Review Articles We Can Get Behind — See Also

New Technology Without Adoption Is Worse Than Doing Nothing

New Technology Without Adoption Is Worse Than Doing Nothing

Despite the never-ending promise of how software will help transform your legal practice, most attempts at legal modernization still fall short in practice. By realigning your strategy along with the implementation of new software, you can get not only a return on investment, but real change.

Despite the never-ending promise of how software will help transform your legal practice, most attempts at legal modernization still fall short in practice. By realigning your strategy along with the implementation of new software, you can get not only a return on investment, but real change.

Joe Biden Is The Latest In A Long Line Of Attorneys Turned President Of The United States

(Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Ed. Note: Welcome to our daily feature Trivia Question of the Day!

When Joe Biden takes the presidential oath of office on January 20, 2021, he will be one of how many presidents of the United States that were lawyers?

Hint: These lawyers have played a prominent role in the U.S.’s executive branch since the founding of the country.

See the answer on the next page.

Trump Plots To Seize The Means Of Election, Finds That Coups Are Hard

(Photo by Ron Sachs – Pool/Getty Images)

President Trump had quite a weekend hunkered down at the White House with his most trusted advisers. On Friday night, Sidney Powell, Michael Flynn, Rudy Giuliani, and that weird Overstock dude Patrick Byrne all trooped into the Oval Office to help Trump plan his next next steps. Was the My Pillow guy at a Christmas party, or what?

Options discussed include declaring martial law, seizing voting machines, and appointing Powell as Special Counsel to investigate her claims of rampant fraud. Or, as it’s known colloquially, a coup.

But coup-ing is hard. First you have all those annoying Deep State advisors telling you stuff like, “Sir, that’s totally against the law.” As the New York Times’ Maggie Haberman reported, White House Counsel Pat Cipollone and Chief of Staff Mark Meadows pushed back during the loud and contentious meeting.

Mr. Cipollone told Mr. Trump there was no constitutional authority for what was being discussed, one of the people briefed on the meeting said. Other advisers from the White House and the Trump campaign delivered the same message throughout the meeting, which stretched on for a long period of time.

Even Ken Cuccinelli, the Senior Official Performing the Duties of the Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security, told Giuliani that DHS has no authority to march in and unilaterally seize voting machines for Powell’s discredited witnesses to take apart looking for evidence of hacking. Yes, the same Ken Cuccinelli who tried to ban oral and anal sex as Virginia’s Attorney General. So if that guy says the government doesn’t have the power to do something, you can bet it’s pretty far outside the Overton Window.

But aside from the blatant illegality of snatching up voting machines by fiat or perhaps via executive order, there’s the minor matter of how the president and his allies think this might work.

Do they plan to send in the army? Because Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy and Chief of Staff Gen. James McConville just put out a statement confirming that “there is no role for the U.S. military in determining the outcome of an American election.”

Homeland Security probably has the manpower, but Cucinelli already said they were out.

So, exactly who is going to go into hundreds of counties in Georgia, Wisconsin, Arizona, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Nevada — because you know they don’t care about the machines in Mississippi or Maryland — and snatch up the tabulation equipment?

And after the dragnet, where are they going to put thousands of units of bulky equipment to ensure a chain of custody?

But even assuming Trump manages to effectuate this complicated maneuver … then what? Who’s going to examine the machines, and when? And after they dust the machines for Hugo Chávez’s fingerprints, exactly what will they be looking for? How will the tabulating devices prove anything in the absence of the actual, paper ballots?

And, not for nothing, but the weekend between Christmas and New Years isn’t an ideal time to launch a major bureaucratic undertaking. But there’s probably a federal judge or two willing to interrupt her figgy pudding to sign off on an emergency injunction, and, what the hell, make it nationwide, right? Because it’s Christmas, and we’re all feeling generous.

Even Bill Barr.

Oh, there’s going to be a mean tweet in the AG’s stocking! In fact, the president’s elite constitutional lawyer already made a special delivery.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! And thankfully, this dreadful year is almost over.

Trump Weighed Naming Election Conspiracy Theorist as Special Counsel [NYT]


Elizabeth Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics.

Law School Responds To Stress Of The Season With Pie

One thing I know about 2020 is that you need some good humor to survive. And it looks like Dean Stephen Mazza at University of Kansas School of Law agrees with me.

He’s written a tongue-in-cheek article about a delicious holiday treat, Pecan Pie. He tackles the burning (pun intended) question of extra crispy crusts and filling ooze that plague bakers and pokes fun at legal academia. Seriously, if you’re a legal nerd with a sweet tooth, it’s a must read.

It’s been published in the “inaugural – and perhaps only – edition of the Kansas Journal of Confections & Winter Pastries.” Which, if it were real, I would absolutely subscribe to.

The article nails the baking issue — who hasn’t fought the precarious battle of getting the filling cooked all the way through and avoiding burnt crusts? And the article is filled with legal definitions and citations to get the Blue Booker in all of us psyched.

To get a sense of what we’re talking about, check out footnote 2:

No representation is made that the recipe described in this piece is superior to any other pecan pie recipe. The piece focuses instead on procedural issues surrounding the pie’s creation. Having said that, evidence exists supporting the conclusion that, at a minimum, the pie ranks very highly when compared with pecan pies advocated by others. A recent example is illustrative. The author prepared a pecan pie using the instructions provided in this Article and delivered it to Dr. Barbara A. Bichelmeyer, currently the Provost of the University of Kansas and formerly an employee at Tippin’s Pies. The Provost responded with a thank you card stating, “This is one of the best pies I’ve ever had.” Letter from Barbara Bichelmeyer to Stephen Mazza (Dec. 1, 2020) (on file with author). Shortly thereafter, the Provost’s colleague, Linda Luckey, sent the author an email stating, “[the Provost] said it was the best pie she ever ate – more than once so know she really, really liked it.” Email from Linda Luckey to Stephen Mazza(Nov. 19, 2020, 04:01 CST) (on file with author) (emphasis added).
The Provost qualifies as an expert witness as to pies. See FED. R. EVID. 702
(setting standard for expert testimony). Indeed, she readily passes muster under the familiar Daubert five-factor weighing test. See Daubert v. Merrell Dow Pharms., Inc., 509 U.S. 579, 592–94 (1993) (setting a 5-factor test for qualifying expert witnesses). The applicability of the individual factors listed depends on the nature of the issue, the witness’s particular expertise, and the subject of the proffered testimony. See Kumho Tire Co. v. Carmichael, 526 U.S. 137, 151 (1999). As the Daubert Court itself held, the ultimate reliability inquiry “is a flexible one.” Daubert, 509 U.S. at 594. As such, all five factors need not be present in every case in order to support admission of the witness as an expert.
See Kumho Tire, 526 U.S. at 151. Finally, as the Kumho Tire Court held, a trial court’s basic “gatekeeping responsibility” applies to the admissibility of expert testimony based on “technical” and “other specialized” knowledge—such as pie tastiness—not only scientific expertise. Id. at 147.
Here, the Provost’s expert report reveals her qualifications as a pie expert. See FED. R. CIV. P. 26(a)(2)(B)(iv) (an expert witness’s report must contain “the witness’s qualifications, including a list of all publications authored in the previous 10 years”). The Provost worked at Tippin’s Pies, a world leader in pies, for some time. See About Us, TIPPIN’S PIES, https://tippinspies.com/about-us (relating Tippin’s storied history as Kansas City’s leading pie company and noting
Tippin’s is “passionate about making world-class pies.”) (last visited Dec. 13, 2020). As the North Carolina Supreme Court held, “a witness with a Ph.D. in organic chemistry may be able to describe in detail how flour, eggs, and sugar react on a molecular level when heated to 350 degrees, but would likely be less qualified to testify about the proper way to bake a cake than a … baker with no formal education.” State v. McGrady, 787 S.E.2d 1, 13 (N.C. 2016) (applying North Carolina’s version of Rule 702). For these same reasons, the Provost’s practical experience qualifies her as an expert in pie. Linda Luckey’s statements bolsters this expert testimony. Ms. Luckey’s email, of course, is admissible under the double-hearsay rule. See FED. R. EVID. 805 (“Hearsay within hearsay is not excluded by the rule against hearsay if each part of the combined statements conforms with an exception to the rule.”). Under Federal Rule of Evidence 805, if both the Provost’s statement and Ms. Luckey’s email fall under an exception to the hearsay rule, then the email is admissible despite being an out-of-court statement offered for the truth of the matter asserted.
Here, the Provost’s statement is obviously a “present sense impression,” which is an exception to the general rule barring hearsay. See FED. R. EVID. 803(1) (“A statement describing or explaining an event or condition, made while or immediately after the declarant perceived it.”). Ms. Luckey’s email similarly falls neatly under the recorded recollection exception to the prohibition upon hearsay. See FED. R. EVID. 803(5) (“A record that: (A) is on a matter the witness once knew about but now cannot recall well enough to testify fully and accurately; (B) was made or adopted by the witness when the matter was fresh in the witness’s memory; and (C) accurately reflects the witness’s knowledge.”); see also EEOC v. Staffmark Inv. LLC, 67 F. Supp. 3d 885 (N.D. Ill. 2014) (admitting emails under Fed. R. Evid. 803(5)).
Attempts to establish definitive proof of the recipe’s dominance when
compared with other efforts in the field of pecan pies would likely require human subject matter testing. Such testing must comply with a host of regulatory requirements, including those established by the Public Health Service Act. Pub. L. No. 93-348, §§ 201–215, 88 Stat. 342 (1974); 45 C.F.R. §§ 46.101–.409 (2020). No attempt to obtain the necessary approvals has been taken.

If you got a kick out of that, you’ll enjoy the full article.


headshotKathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).

Former Justice Department Lawyer Apologizes For Not Quitting Sooner So Trump Would Have Crappier Lawyers

(Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

No matter our intentions, we were complicit. We collectively perpetuated an anti-democratic leader by conforming to his assault on reality. We may have been victims of the system, but we were also its instruments. No matter how much any one of us pushed back from within, we did so as members of a professional class of government lawyers who enabled an assault on our democracy — an assault that nearly ended it.

We owe the country our honesty about that and about what we saw. We owe apologies. I offer mine here.

Erica Newland, an attorney who worked in the Office of Legal Counsel at the Justice Department from 2016-18, in an opinion piece published in the New York Times. Before offering her apology, she notes that if more DOJ attorneys had “refused to participate” in Trump’s agenda, then he’d have been left with lawyers like those who have been carrying out his election litigation: “lawyers who can’t master the basic mechanics of lawyering.” Newland serves as counsel with Protect Democracy.


Staci ZaretskyStaci Zaretsky is a senior editor at Above the Law, where she’s worked since 2011. She’d love to hear from you, so please feel free to email her with any tips, questions, comments, or critiques. You can follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

Magic Circle Gives Special Bonuses, But How Much Is Anyone’s Guess

Bonus seasons continues to make its way through Biglaw. And, generally speaking, that’s good news for the associates on the ground busy billing their butts off during a pandemic. And though the prevailing market rate has been set, we’re still waiting to see exactly who will match.

Well, the wait is over for associates at Linklaters. The firm announced they’ll be paying market year-end bonuses. That’s good news, but as Biglaw followers know, in 2020, that’s not the end of the discussion. Special bonuses are also a thing this year, generally ranging from $7,500 to $40,000 depending on class year as an extra special thank you for working through a challenging year. And Linklaters says there’ll be special bonuses starting at 1,700 billable hours, but there’s no clear chart delineating exactly how much you need to bill to get full market special bonuses.

And reaction from tipsters has called out this lack of transparency:

After taking two weeks longer than any of their “magic circle” peers, they didn’t even match. They added a scaled hours requirement that no one can make sense of.  From talking to people it sounds like you needed to hit 1,900 to even get a quarter of the special bonus, so who knows what anyone billing 1,700 – 1,900 got. And 2,000 gets you half if you’re lucky.
Instead of thanking people for working during a pandemic, it’s a late Christmas slap in the face. No one is happy and it shows just how littleLinklaters thinks of its US practice

Of course any bonuses are better than no bonuses, but it isn’t surprising associates wish there were a bit more clarity.

Please help us help you when it comes to bonus news at other firms. As soon as your firm’s bonus memo comes out, please email it to us (subject line: “[Firm Name] Bonus”) or text us (646-820-8477). Please include the memo if available. You can take a photo of the memo and send it via text or email if you don’t want to forward the original PDF or Word file.

And if you’d like to sign up for ATL’s Bonus Alerts, please scroll down and enter your email address in the box below this post. If you previously signed up for the bonus alerts, you don’t need to do anything. You’ll receive an email notification within minutes of each bonus announcement that we publish.


headshotKathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).

Even The Swiss Frown On (Allegedly) Laundering Money For The Bulgarian Mafia

Operating a global and globally-inept internal secret police and spying operation may have meant some reputational damage, a new CEO and possibly a regulatory slap on the wrist for Credit Suisse. But the “temporary arrests” of some of its Keystone Kops aside, there has never been the suggestion of something criminal about not-so-surreptitiously monitoring potentially disloyal employees and partners. Laundering money for the Bulgarian mob? That is a different story entirely, even in Switzerland.