Morning Docket: 12.20.19

(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

* President Trump seems to have indicated which attorney will represent him at his impeachment trial. [Reuters]

* A number of strippers have sued over Reno’s new law requiring strippers to be at least 21 years old. [Fox News]

* Lawyers have argued that immigration officials keep writing false addresses on immigration paperwork so that migrants can’t show up for their court appearances. [NBC News]

* Several state Attorneys General have sued to prevent the Equal Rights Amendment from being added to the constitution. They must’ve thought that 27 amendments is a nice, round number…[Hill]

* Attorneys for Jeffrey Epstein have alleged that a surveillance video showing a suicide attempt before his death has vanished. [Fox Business]

* A father and son have finally settled their trademark dispute over use of the name they both share. Hopefully this buries the hatchet before they celebrate the holidays. [Bloomberg Law]


Jordan Rothman is a partner of The Rothman Law Firm, a full-service New York and New Jersey law firm. He is also the founder of Student Debt Diaries, a website discussing how he paid off his student loans. You can reach Jordan through email at jordan@rothmanlawyer.com.

High-profile prosecution reveals a toxic cocktail of corruption, misogyny and abuse of office – The Zimbabwean

 Mary Chiwenga, wife of former Zimbabwean Defence Force commander General Constantino Chiwenga. (Photo: Getty Images / Dan Kitwood)  Less

In a country where pensioners spend four nights sleeping outside banks to access less than US$5/day, Mary Chiwenga, the wife of Zimbabwe’s vice president, is accused of having ‘externalised’ US$1m to SA and China.

In the past two years, the lives of the poor and working people in Zimbabwe have not improved an iota. A high-profile criminal prosecution of Mary Chiwenga, wife of the vice president, tells us a lot about the spending habits of Zimbabwe’s political elite. Meanwhile, if you walk through any major town in Zimbabwe at night, you will find dozens of people sleeping on the pavements. If you observe carefully, you will notice that many are found outside banking halls. Why and what’s really going on?

Suffer the pensioners

Zimbabwe has been experiencing cash shortages for years. As a result, most urban dwellers now transact electronically using the EcoCash cellphone banking platform or swipe their bank cards. Unfortunately, many people, especially pensioners, most of whom relocated to the rural areas after leaving their jobs, still depend on hard cash to live.

Banks do give cash, but in limited supply – if one is lucky, you can get up to Z$50 a day. That is exactly R50. On 20 November 2019, the state-run newspaper, The Herald, ran a headline that screamed: NSSA increases pension payouts. The National Social Security Authority (NSSA) is the Zimbabwean body that manages pensions. The report said:

“The National Social Security Authority (NSSA) has more than doubled its minimum pensions from $80 to $200 a month, while workers’ compensation scheme minimum pensions have been tripled from $80 to $240.”

This may sound hopeful. Who does not want to hear that their salary has been doubled or trebled? But what this means in real terms is that minimum pensioners payouts have been increased from R80 to R200 a month and workers’ compensation trebled from R80 to R240 a month.

With Z$240 in Zimbabwe, one can go and buy exactly 16 loaves of bread (Z$15 each) or 24 cans of Coca-Cola (Z$10 each) or 13l of petrol (Z$18/l) or, since it’s festive season, a bottle of Robertson sweet red wine from OK Zimbabwe, our biggest supermarket chain “where the nation shops and saves”.

This is what people who saved their pensions with the NSSA get monthly. But this money, at a Z$50 withdrawal a day, can only be withdrawn over four days, if one is lucky. So, because they cannot afford to get into town for four days in a row, many pensioners have no choice but to sleep in the bank queues right outside the bank for at least four days a month.

It is unconscionable what the government is doing to pensioners. NSSA pensions are decided after consultation with Finance Minister Mthuli Ncube. The Z$80 pensioners’ salaries were originally US dollar salaries. With the coming of the bond note, they were pegged at a rate of 1:1 against the US dollar. But on 20 February 2019, Reserve Bank Governor John Mangudya decided to change the local currency to what he named the RTGS dollar and its rate against the USD was to be determined by the markets.

They, however, did not adjust salaries to the new rate.

What this means is according to today’s rates of US$1: RTGS20, a pensioner earning Z$200 should in fact be earning RTGS4,000 or R4,000. The government, through the Reserve Bank, came up with a policy that changed the currency, but did not adjust people’s bank balances and salaries in line with the new rates. This is criminal.

Squander the rich

As this injustice is occurring, the trial of Priscah Mupfumira, a former tourism minister, who was arrested on 25 July 2019 over the US$95-million NSSA scandal has been postponed after she was declared “too depressed” to stand trial.

How depressed are her victims, one wonders.

Now, in a country where pensioners spend four nights sleeping outside banks to access less than US$5/day, Mary Chiwenga, the wife of Zimbabwe’s Vice President Constantine Chiwenga, is accused of having externalised US$1-million to South Africa and China.

Everything about this case stinks.

It is a cocktail of corruption, misogyny and abuse of office. Mary Chiwenga’s husband is accusing her of all these crimes, and that husband is the vice president. He has managed to get the Zimbabwe Anti-Corruption Commission (ZACC) embroiled in his marital issues, showing us the extent to which institutions in Zimbabwe are under the influence of politicians. Not only did the vice president manage to get the ZAAC to investigate his wife, he also got the police to arrest and detain her, and who is to say it was not him that ordered the magistrate to remand her in custody?

This is a clear case of abuse of authority. Where does this influence over the judiciary, armed forces and other state institutions start and where does it end?

Let’s be clear, Mary Chiwenga is no angel. In 2018, she sent someone to “talk to me” about my social media posts which she felt painted her and Zanu-PF in a bad light. She advised me to stand down and rather take it from her than have the soldiers pay me a visit.

I refused to be intimidated. A short while later I was fired without warning from my job at a government-funded publishing house.

I admit I step on many government toes with my writing, but I will forever wonder to what extent her threats were linked to my firing. Mary Chiwenga failed to manage the power that came with being married to an army general cum vice president. Many do not feel sorry for her for what is happening, but for the sake of justice and constitutionality, we cannot condone what the vice president is doing to his wife.

The nature of the allegations against Mary Chiwenga tells a story of a family that had access to millions of dollars. Mary Chiwenga is accused of externalising US$1-million. Where on Earth did a civil servant’s wife get US$1-million? How much do vice presidents earn that they could have access to that kind of money? How much did Constantine Chiwenga earn as an army general?

Pictures of the Chiwengas’ mansion did the rounds on social media after the overthrow of Robert Mugabe, exposing just how rich the general must be. If ZACC was truly in the business of investigating corruption, would it not have gone further than arresting Mary Chiwenga and dug deeper into the source of the US$1-million? Do the Chiwengas’ earnings justify their wealth?

Let us look at how Mary Chiwenga is said to have externalised the money. Had she smuggled the money to South Africa stuffed in suitcases we wouldn’t bat an eyelid, we would think she is just another common criminal. What is shocking is that Mary Chiwenga is accused of having externalised this money through formal channels. She waltzed into CBZ bank, past pensioners and others who had probably been in the queue for days, and somehow managed to get the bank to transfer hundreds of thousands of US dollars to banks outside Zimbabwe. This is enraging to many Zimbabweans whose US dollar bank balances were changed overnight to a worthless local currency.

The fact that Mary Chiwenga could get a Zimbabwean bank to transfer up to a million US dollars outside Zimbabwe is shocking and triggering to many of us who have failed over the years to get foreign transfers of humble amounts processed.

Tobacco farmers, whose products are sold in forex, are wallowing in poverty because they are paid in local currency by the government as forex is said to be directed to priority imports. What priority imports did Mary Chiwenga buy with her US$1-million? Is the government prejudicing tobacco farmers of their hard-earned cash to fund their own lavish lifestyles?

On the invoices that Mary Chiwenga is said to have produced to the bank, there was tents and chairs as well as prepaid electricity meters. What did she tell the bank the tents and chairs were for, for them to authorise the release of hundreds of thousands of dollars of scarce foreign currency? Why was Mary Chiwenga purporting to import electricity meters? Is she the one supplying them to the Zimbabwe Electricity Transmission and Distribution Company (ZETDC)? On what grounds would she be doing that?

What the externalisation and money laundering charges have exposed is nothing short of organised crime. For Mary Chiwenga to do this she had to get authority and thus collusion from CBZ bank which had to get authority and thus collusion from the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe (RBZ). Why are they not charged or at least being investigated for facilitating this crime?

Is Constantine Chiwenga, the complainant in this case, not the one who paved the way for Mary Chiwenga to have access to this syndicate that allows government officials to transfer such large amounts of money outside Zimbabwe?

How many others have this kind of access to state coffers? Just this week, Emmerson Mnangagwa Junior, son of President Mnangagwa, is said to have bought his girlfriend Pokello Nare, former Big Brother Africa housemate and stepdaughter of Ignatious Chombo, a Range Rover 2020 worth at least US$70,000. How did the president’s son manage to accumulate that much forex? Where is he based? If in Zimbabwe how did he get the money out of the country? What is his source of income?

This is not the first time CBZ bank has been found to have facilitated transfers of forex for government officials or their spouses. In 2016, it facilitated the botched purchase of a US$1.4-million diamond ring that Grace Mugabe reportedly bought for herself on behalf of Robert Mugabe as a 20th wedding anniversary gift. The same CBZ bank that was assisting government officials to externalise money in the Robert Mugabe era is today seemingly doing the same for Mnangagwa’s government. For its roles in this scandal, is ZACC going to investigate CBZ bank too? Will they investigate the RBZ?

I have been asking myself, since when are externalisation and money laundering punishable offences in Zimbabwe? Back in 2017, soon after the removal of Mugabe, Mnangagwa announced that the shortage of cash in the economy was due to externalisation of funds by certain companies and the new dispensation would investigate these companies and recover the funds. They published a list of accused companies and their directors in 2018 and told them to return the monies or face the law. It has been two years and we are still waiting for either the cash crisis to end if the monies have been repatriated or for trials of offenders to commence. None of that has happened and clearly, large sums are still being externalised from the country.

So, back to the allegations against Mary Chiwenga.

The complainant, Vice President Chiwenga, claims Mary Chiwenga forged a marriage between the two. Had Mary Chiwenga printed and signed a fake marriage certificate, all on her own, we would think she is just a common criminal. But Mary Chiwenga allegedly has in her possession, a marriage certificate awarded through all the proper channels and with all the necessary signatures. Why is she the only accused? Mary Chiwenga, according to her husband, got a judge and court officials and the Judiciary Services Commission to solemnise a marriage between herself and a bedridden and allegedly unconsenting partner, and none of them is accused alongside her. Is that not targeted and selective use of the law?

Mary Chiwenga is also accused of attempting to murder the general while he was critically ill. It is said there are witnesses to this. Why did the witnesses not report this murder attempt when it occurred? Are the South African authorities in possession of such a report? Why would the witnesses wait to report this crime to the victim and not the authorities? Had the victim actually died, would they have ever reported this crime? This seems like either trumped-up charges or a murder attempt and cover-up gone wrong. If there was a cover-up, should Mary Chiwenga not be in jail with her accomplices?

By getting his wife thrown in jail, the vice president has exposed not only his corrupt nature, his influence over our institutions and abuse of power, he has also exposed the misogyny many would like to believe does not exist. Many women in Zimbabwe find themselves destitute when relationships with their husbands and boyfriends turn sour. From revenge pornography which involves the publishing of a partners’ nude pictures and sex tapes, to banishing from homes to stripping them of their access to finance; women are exposed to all forms of abuse when relationships collapse.

This is not Chiwenga’s first messy divorce.

When Vice President Chiwenga divorced his first wife, Jocelyn, she claimed 20 soldiers from the presidential guard were sent to evict her from her farm. As if that were not enough, she said soldiers were sent to forcibly evict her from their home. The divorce case went on under a media blackout. While many felt sorry for Jocelyn, several felt she was getting a taste of her own medicine as she too, was as tyrannous as Mary Chiwenga while she was married to the vice president, then still just an army general. Jocelyn is best known for attacking Morgan Tsvangirai in a supermarket.

Just as Chiwenga managed to evict Jocelyn from their home without a court order, and get a divorce order in the absence of her lawyers, he has now managed, using the same courts, to get his wife thrown into prison. What kind of person treats women like this? What kind of person gets the mother of his three young children arrested and humiliated like this? Surely, most people would want, for the sake of their children at least, to keep this as out of the public eye as possible, but not our vice president.

We are led by people who have no respect for their loved ones. People who even in their personal lives use the law to punish those who cross them. If Chiwenga can use the country’s highest institutions and courts against his wife, is there any hope for us when we stand up to him for his corrupt and misogynistic ways? MC

Thandekile Moyo is a writer and human rights defender from Zimbabwe. For the past four years, she has been using print, digital and social media (Twitter: @mamoxn) to expose human rights abuses, bad governance and corruption. Moyo holds an Honours degree in Geography and Environmental Studies from the Midlands State University in Zimbabwe.

Grim life of families living in Pretoria’s ‘Little Zimbabwe’ – The Zimbabwean

Edward Magoche came to South Africa seven years ago. He lives with his wife and two children. (Photo: Kimberly Mutandiro/GroundUp)

An informal settlement in the centre of Boom Street in Marabastad in Pretoria has become commonly known as “Little Zimbabwe” on account of the number of Zimbabwean nationals living there, GroundUp reported.

Most of the people living there are undocumented and because of this, they are unable to find work.

Some live in shacks made from board and plastic which well-wishers have donated, while others live in shelters made of old plastic sheets and cloth.

The conditions at the settlement are unhealthy because there are no toilets or taps for water.

Clusters of rubbish are strewn across the settlement. There are puddles of stagnant water. Despite these conditions, residents here say they would rather live here than pay high rent elsewhere.

Residents say metro police officers have regularly demolished their shacks but they rebuild soon after. Some of their homes were also destroyed in September during a wave of xenophobic attacks.

The more than 10 Zimbabwean families who live in the informal settlement survive through waste picking, asking for money, or donations.

They come from poor families in Zimbabwe and say they are better off in the informal settlement than at home.

Augustine Armando, originally from Epworth in Harare, is blind. He came to South Africa in 2013 and lives of the change he is given. His wife, who still lives in Zimbabwe, is also blind. When he can, he sends money to her as well.

He lives with his 10-year-old grandson Nesbert who helps him get around. Armando brought his grandson to South Africa a year ago in the hope of raising enough money to one day send him to school.

“If only I can raise money for my grandson to go to school, but it seems impossible,” says Armando.

Manners Mdumeni, 40, is a waste picker who also relies on piecemeal jobs. He came to South Africa in 2010 from Kwekwe. He spends most of his time pushing trolleys around town looking for recycling material. He lives alone.

“My life is difficult because l live from hand to mouth. Coming to this informal settlement made life easier because l could not pay rent where I used to live,” he says.

Manners Mdumeni is a waste picker

Manners Mdumeni is a waste picker who also relies on piecemeal jobs. (Photo: Kimberly Mutandiro/GroundUp)

Thomas Sithole, 29, from Mkoba in Gweru says he was orphaned at a young age. He came to South Africa in 2008 when the economic situation in Zimbabwe collapsed to even worse levels.

To survive, Sithole says he learnt to hustle on the streets to survive, moving from sleeping on the street outside the Methodist Church in Johannesburg, to an old building in Pretoria from where he and others were later evicted. In 2011 he moved to Little Zimbabwe.

“We live here because of suffering. We want to rent apartments like other people but we cannot afford it.”

Sithole says he survives by buying and selling second-hand electrical goods and gadgets. He has a small stall opposite the settlement where he sells cables, cigarettes and sweets.

“I came to South Africa thinking that l would find greener pastures but things haven’t been easy. Now l do what l can to survive. Going back to Zimbabwe is pointless as l come from a poor family and the unstable economic and political situation worsens things,” he says.

Edward Magoche is also a waste picker. He was born at Renco Mine in Masvingo and came to South Africa seven years ago. He lives with his wife and two children. His wife helps by going around town asking for money and food. He says his family often goes to bed without having had anything to eat.

“Our government in Zimbabwe seems not to notice our suffering. If things were better we would go back home. People back home do not know how poor we are here in South Africa.”

Edward Magoche came to South Africa seven years ag

Edward Magoche came to South Africa seven years ago. He lives with his wife and two children. (Photo: Kimberly Mutandiro/GroundUp)

Post published in: Featured

They’re Still Trying To Take Away Healthcare, You Know

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From the Above the Law Network

This T14 Law School Is A Real Bargain

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According to the U.S. News & World Report rankings, which top 14 law school has the least expensive tuition?

Hint: There are currently 976 people enrolled at the school getting the good price for an elite legal education.

See the answer on the next page.

Holiday Reading Guide for Lawyers

Most lawyers love to read (it’s a terrible profession to go into if you don’t), but it can be a struggle to carve the time out of your busy schedule to read for pleasure. If your New Year’s resolution is to read more – or if you are looking for a last minute gift for a lawyer in your life – then you need a reading list. To put this list together we polled our faculty to find out what they read in 2019 that they would recommend for all attorneys, law-related or not. Some interesting data emerged from the responses: for example, only one-quarter of the faculty recommended novels, instead gravitating mostly towards non-fiction. And while very few of the featured titles relate directly to the law, almost everyone who responded said these books had an impact on their practice. 

 So for lawyers looking for their next great read, we present 20 Books to Read in 2020:

Fiction

  1. All the Light We Cannot See, by Anthony Doerr. Set during World War Two, this Pulitzer Prize-winning novel follows a blind French girl and an orphaned German boy with a genius for fixing things. Rachel Robinson says it is “beautifully written and a compelling and intriguing story with very interesting characters.”
  2. City on Fire, by Garth Risk Hallberg. Named one of the best books of the year in 2016, this mystery novel set during the 1976 New York blackout features a cast of characters from every walk of life, and the detective tracking them all to solve a murder. Geoffrey Mort recommends “this superbly written novel that, among other things, is a riveting portrayal of New York City in the late 70s.”
  3. The Cuckoo’s Egg: Tracking a Spy Through the Maze of Computer Espionage, by Cliff Stoll. Susan Ross suggests you check out this easy-to-read “true crime” bestseller from the 1980’s, which “explains Internet security in the context of a “whodunit” and formed the basis of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.” 
  4. Daisy Jones & the Six, by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Bruce Cheriff says this documentary-style novel is “so well done that at first I thought it was a true story – I only found out it was fiction when I googled the band.”
  5. Fatal Features, by Lyndee Walker. Amy Goldsmith recommends anything by LynDee Walker, a southern crime reporter turned novelist (“the crime fiction is realistic and her writing is excellent”), but you can get started with Fatal Features, which is set in an abandoned Renaissance fairground and available as a free download.
  6. The Name of the Wind, by Patrick Rothfuss. Avi Kelin predicts that this series is “the next Game of Thrones, so read the books now before the movie and TV show debut.” But fair warning for frustrated fans – more than eight years have elapsed and the third book still has not been released.

Non-Fiction

  1. The Alter-Ego Effect, by Todd Hermann. Most attorneys know intellectually that they are accomplished and competent. But sometimes there is that nagging feeling that suggests otherwise. Francine Tone recommends this book to help attorneys find out “how to show up as your most effective, best self even when you feel less than fully confident.”
  2. Bad Blood: Secrets & Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup, by John Carreyrou. Christopher Loh, patent attorney, says this investigative report is an excellent piece of journalism, “and a great reminder to those of us who practice in the life sciences field to keep our skeptics’ hats on.”
  3. Becoming, by Michelle Obama. Michelle Bradford says the former first lady’s memoir “is deeply personal and gives insights into the struggles that all lawyers face when trying to find their purpose.”
  4. Breaking Through Bias: Communication Techniques for Women to Succeed at Work, by Andrea Kramer and Alton Harris. We are excited to recommend this fantastic book by Lawline faculty, which outlines why the wage gap persists in the 21st century and introduces clear communication techniques that women can use to avoid the discriminatory consequences of gender stereotypes.
  5. Educated, by Tara Westover. This fascinating memoir from the child of rural survivalists traces her journey from the mountains of Idaho to Harvard and Cambridge. Michael Santos calls it “inspiring!”
  6. Factfulness: Ten Reasons Were Wrong About the World – and Why Things Are Better Than You Think, by Hans Rosling, Ola Rosling, and Anna Rosling Rönnlund. In an era that sometimes feels defined by fake news, Max Elliott recommends lawyers check out this data-driven, “thought-provoking” and hopeful book investigating how people understand (and misunderstand) statistics, and how you can do better. 
  7. How to Work a Room, by Susan RoAne. Every day is full of many face to face and online interactions, which can be stressful and unpleasant. Fran Griesing recommends this book to “address the challenges of today’s interactions and provide valuable proven strategies to effectively communicate in multiple settings.” 
  8. Just Mercy: A Story of Justice & Redemption, by Bryan Stevenson. This memoir by the founder of the Equal Justice Initiative recounts the experience of an idealistic Harvard Law grad who goes on to advocate for major changes in the criminal justice system, and the movie adaptation is currently in theaters. Max says “In a very human way, it encapsulates the challenges, failures, and triumphs that accompany being a diverse attorney in America.”
  9. Leaders: Myth & Reality, by General Stanley McChrystal. Christopher Kende recommends this for its “great insight on the concept of leadership and extremely fascinating biographies of many past historical leaders, including Robert E Lee, Harriett Tubman, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King Jr., Albert Einstein, Leonard Bernstein, Robespierre and more.” A must-read for anyone looking to develop leadership potential in themselves or others. 
  10. The Second Greatest American, by Daniel Kornstein. Another faculty read, this biography presents a new view of Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, exploring the impact of his military service in the Civil War on his judicial views.
  11. Spiritual Atheist: A Quest To Unite Science and Wisdom into a Radical New Life Philosophy to Thrive in the Digital Age, by Nick Seneca Jankel. Wylie Stecklow raves “this book is one I continue to keep on my nightstand. The author is also a leadership speaker and delves into understanding our place in the universe outside of religious parameters. As a busy federal litigator in a solo practice, I am often at my wits end with deadlines. This book helps me take a step back and exhale, appreciate my place in the world, and not get overwhelmed – all very helpful tools to keep my feet squarely planted on the ground while trying to shoulder the stress and problems for all of my clients.”
  12. Stamped from the Beginning, by Ibram X. Kendi. Darius Davenport recommends this extensively researched narrative into race and racist ideology in America, which “provides additional historical context to the foundations of traditional American values that still impact us today.”
  13. Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know, by Malcolm Gladwell. Clear client communication is a key part of a successful attorney’s practice. Raymond Furey suggests that “these stories and examples will have the reader reexamine his or her professional and personal communication skills.”
  14. Trauma & Recovery, by Judith Herman, M.D. For attorneys with clients who have been impacted by traumatic events, Geoff Trenchard says this book is “essential reading” to understand how trauma manifests and can be overcome.

Happy Reading to one and all!

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I’m Not Wild About Holding The Impeachment Articles, But Screw It

(Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)

The House of Representatives voted to impeach President Donald Trump and now, we await his Senate trial to determine acquittal or removal.

But as Lee Corso might say: “not so fast my friend.” In the face of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s unprecedented promise to achieve the President’s acquittal through bias and corruption, a building consensus is moving towards holding the Articles of Impeachment, refusing to formally “transmit” them to the Senate, until McConnell agrees to some basic form of a fair trial and the calling of witnesses.

Harvard Law Professor Laurence Tribe has tried to give this argument legal gravitas. In an op-ed in the Washington Post, he wrote:

Some have asked what would give the House power to take the step of impeaching the president but withhold pressing its articles of impeachment in the Senate. This question assumes that everything the House opts not to do, every option it chooses not to exercise, requires that it locate affirmative power for its inaction in some textual snippet in the Constitution.

I’d turn the question around: Where in the Constitution or in the history or theory of its interpretation is that principle located? In fact, it is entirely made up, found nowhere in our constitutional constellation. And it is out of place when considering how the House and Senate are to interact in cases of impeachment, particularly cases in which a president is being impeached for defying his oath and the Senate is threatening to defy its oath as well.

Look, I’m all about asking for forgiveness instead of permission. And I agree, intellectually, with the thrust of Tribe’s argument that the Constitution does not, and was not intended to, contemplate the entire universe of what is or isn’t legal in this country.

But, at core, I’m not wild about the legal arguments made in defense of this tactical strategy, because they’re not really legal arguments. It’s a raw political power play. By withholding the Articles of Impeachment, Democrats are saying “we can, and you can’t stop me.” It’s not unlike me taking the iPad away from my kid: I can, he can’t beat me up, if he wants it back he better eat two more chicken nuggets. It’s not a procedural argument, I’m just bigger.

The problem with these kind of power plays is that it’s fundamentally lawless. There’s no legal or Constitutional value advanced by through this parliamentary loophole. We just want McConnell to do something (his job) and we’re trying to force him to do it. I’d rather not drag the Constitution into the game.

Which isn’t to say that I’m unwilling to play. The last time I saw somebody use raw political power to subvert the normal functioning of government because the Constitution didn’t explicitly disallow it, Mitch McConnell was grinning over the corpse of Merrick Garland. Mitch McConnell can eat it and I’m willing to use any means, fair or unfair, to achieve even the most Pyrrhic victory over him.

I’m willing to go full Elliot Ness: “I have broken every law I have sworn to uphold, I have become what I beheld and I am content that I have done right!”

I just don’t want to pretend about what’s going on here. This is not society. We’re in the state of nature now.

Don’t let Mitch McConnell conduct a Potemkin impeachment trial [Washington Post]


Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and a contributor at The Nation. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.

Sudden Death Of First Year Associate Shocks Biglaw Firm

(Image via Getty)

Sad news from Sidley. Over the weekend a first year associate unexpectedly passed away just a few months after starting full time at the firm.

Ralph C. Catalano joined Sidley in September 2019, where he worked in the Real Estate group in the New York office after previously working as a summer associate. Catalano got his undergraduate degree from the College of William and Mary and his J.D. from the University of Virginia School of Law.

According to an email sent to New York employees, Samir Gandhi, managing partner of the New York office, remembered Catalano as “a conscientious worker, valued member of the team and liked by everyone who knew him.”

The firm is making counselors available to employees, and they are encouraging folks to seek assistance in dealing with Catalano’s death.

Our thoughts go out to Catalano’s family, friends and colleagues at this difficult time.


headshotKathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).

Why I’m annoyed about Miss Universe 2019 – The Zimbabwean

Black queens reign

Africa has the Miss Universe crown and all forms of social media have exploded.  The first ever black African Miss Universe was only crowned in 1999, Botswana’s Mpule Kwelagobe, 47 years after the inception of the global pageant – so you can understand the African furore over the newly crowned beauty queen (Trinidad and Tobago’s Janelle Commissiong was crowned Miss Universe 1977 and in the process became the first black woman to win the prestigious pageant crown). Zozibini Tunzi, who only four months ago sashayed off the stage of Sun Arena, Pretoria, with the Miss South Africa crown, beat 89 other participants to become the world’s most beautiful woman. In fact, Tunzi’s victory is not the only reason for people of African origin to celebrate. Did you know that this is the only year in which the Miss America, Miss USA and Miss Teen USA crowns are currently on the heads of black women? When Eastern Cape’s own Zozibini won Miss Universe, she joined the list of black women currently wearing the world’s most coveted tiaras. And even before she had recovered from jet lag, flying back home, Miss Jamaica – Toni-Ann Singh – joined the string of black queens with her victory at Miss World.

Despite the Miss Universe frenzy, I must say that I am a little annoyed. Not with Miss Universe herself – Good heavens, no! The reason for my irritation is the millions of terabytes of hypocrisy currently infesting my Facebook and Twitter newsfeed.

Miss Universe brings out opportunists

Most men who have access to a computer or smart phone spend hours watching or porn. It’s the Y chromosome, I guess. But guess who is the exception to this rule? Yours truly of course – insert Afro haired smirk emoji. I use up most of my data bundles on natural hair. I spend hours on Pinterest, looking at luscious black coils, more hours, cruising for corkscrew-haired black faces, and even more of my online time salivating over Afros, cornrows and dreadlocks on Twitter.

At one point, my twitter profile said “weaves suck.” But the wisdom of a friend inspired me to love without hate. So I no longer make daily declarations of my dislike for synthesized hair. Instead I just show my love for natural follicles, because love can exist without hate. I even have my own hashtag – #ForTheLoveOfAfros – of which I am quite pleased, even if it has never ever trended on Twitter – insert dark skinned, Afro haired smirk emoji. You’re still wondering why I’m pissed off about Africa’s Miss Universe?

Why I am annoyed about Miss Universe

When I discover a lovely restaurant – here I use the word “discover” in that Livingstonian way, you know, Europeans discovering rivers and mountains in Africa – it becomes my restaurant. Even though I may have zero equity in the establishment and the waiters may, from time to time, serve my café latte a few degrees colder than ideal temperature, I still consider the restaurant “my own.” In fact, once I declare a restaurant “mine,” I get annoyed at people – these Johnny Come Latelies – who try to appropriate my personal find. While we are on the subject, I also discovered André Ayew – son of legendary Ghanaian footballer, Abedi “Pele” Ayew – even before he became a Black Star and got mugged for a place in the semi finals by Luis Suarez at World Cup 2010. I got really annoyed with people who claimed Ayew as “their own.” I discovered him, damn it – Insert angry Afro haired emoji.

As a blogger, I made my bones writing what was at the time perceived as a seditious newspaper column, in which former Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe was scripted as the villain even though Africa held him up as a hero at the time. Many of my fellow writers steered clear of politics, preferring to write about “safe” subject matter. But as Mugabe’s crown began to fall off his grey head, the same “safe” topic writers rushed to the internet to hashtag #MugabeHasFallen. This annoyed me to no end. The glory stealers.  And yes, I am that petty.

African-American woman with natural hair. Photo: Wiki commons/www.nappy.co/license/)

Suddenly everyone loves African natural hair?

For years, I and a handful of naturalistas have been speaking to ourselves, like crazy street preachers, because nobody else will listen when we hashtag #OurHairIsBeautiful. In fact, many people outside the African natural hair movement despise naturalistas, believing them to be snobby and narrow-minded. But when a girl with short-short kinks placed the Miss Universe crown on her head, suddenly everyone wants to praise natural African hair. Where were they when we were hashtagging #ForTheLoveOfAfros and #OurHairIsBeautiful and #TeamNaturalHair? Where were they when I spent gigs and gigs of data looking at natural African hair? And you know what really-really-really scratches my eyes like sandpaper? It’s the fact that people with horse hair and plastic bristles on their heads are piggy-backing on Zozibini Tunzi’s global fame. Get your own Miss Universe, damn it! After winning 200 likes and 99 retweets, the same people who filled my newsfeed with natural hair praise this week will be back on Amazon and Alibaba, ordering a fresh batch of synthetic hair. And this is why I am pissed off.

Come to think of it, there is nothing really shocking about a black, natural haired Miss Universe. All Zozibini Tunzi did was wear her hair the way God intended it to grow out of her scalp – insert Afro haired shrug emoji.

Angry but proud black man

When I am not making angry faces at people who only this week discovered the beauty of natural hair, I am filled with pride.

I grew up in a world where a woman who looks like me, with my kind of skin and my kind of hair, was never considered to be beautiful – I think that it is time that that stops today – Zozibini Tunzi.

I did grow up in a neighbourhood where the pong of heat combs fizzing through black hair filled the Sunday morning sky as women dressed up for Church. I did grow up in a country where natural African hair was called “mufushwa” – sundried vegetables. Ashamedly, I will admit that I grew up around sisters and girl cousins who played with blonde haired dolls despite their ebony skin. Even though I am a sometimes very petty natural African hair devotee, I understand and celebrate the meaning of Zozibini Tunzi’s Miss Universe Victory.

My pen is capped