Court Operations during the Extension of the National Shutdown – The Zimbabwean

Luke Malaba

Chief Justice’s Practice Direction 2 of 2020 on Court Operations during the Extension of the National Shutdown

On Sunday 19th April – following the President’s announcement of the extension of the National Shutdown from 20th April to 3rd May – the Chief Justice issued the following self-explanatory Practice Direction 2 of 2020.  The new Practice Direction amends Practice Direction 1 of 2020 [see Court Watch 3/2020 [link]] to take account of the extension of the National Lockdown.

PRACTICE DIRECTION 2 OF 2020

COURT OPERATIONS DURING THE COVID-19 NATIONAL LOCKDOWN PERIOD

AMENDMENT NOTICE

Amendment to Practice Direction 1 of 2020

1)  Practice Direction 1 of 2020 is amended in paragraphs 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14 by the deletion of those paragraphs and substitution with the following:-

 

Criminal matters

“10. All pending criminal cases originally remanded to the dates shown in Column ‘A’ shall be automatically rolled over to the dates shown in column ‘B’:-

  Column ‘A’ Column ‘B’
  Original Remand Date New date of remand
  30 March 2020 4 May 2020
  31 March 2020 5 May 2020
  1 April 2020 6 May 2020
  2 April 2020 7 May 2020
  3 April 2020 8 May 2020
  6 April 2020 11 May 2020
  7 April 2020 12 May 2020
  8 April 2020 13 May 2020
  9 April 2020 14 May 2020
  10 April 2020 15 May 2020
  14 April 2020 18 May 2020
  15 April 2020 19 May 2020
  16 April 2020 20 May 2020
  17 April 2020 21 May 2020
  20 April 2020 22 May 2020
  21 April 2020 26 May 2020  
  22 April 2020 27 May 2020  
  23 April 2020 28 May 2020  
  24 April 2020 29 May 2020  
  27 April 2020 1 June 2020  
  28 April 2020 2 June 2020  
  29 April 2020 3 June 2020  
  30 April 2020 4 June 2020  
  1. 11.All summonsesand subpoenas issued directing accused persons and witnesses to appear in court between 20 April 2020 and 3 May 2020 are cancelled and shall be reissued after the expiry of the lockdown period.
  2. 12.Allsales in execution are hereby stayed for the duration of the lockdown period.”

Effective date

  1. 13.Inlight of the extension of the period of lockdown, this Practice Direction shall accordingly remain in effect until the expiry of the extended lockdown period.”

Hon. Mr Justice L Malaba

Chief Justice of Zimbabwe

HARARE

19 April 2020

Veritas makes every effort to ensure reliable information, but cannot take legal responsibility for information supplied.

Post published in: Featured

Zimbabwe COVID-19 Lockdown Monitoring Report: – The Zimbabwean

1.         Introduction
On 27 March 2020, President Mnangagwa declared a 21-day national lockdown which ended on 19 April 2020. The lockdown was extended for another 14 days to 3 May 2020. The extension of the lockdown was followed by the gazetting of Statutory Instrument (SI) 2020-094 Public Health (COVID-19 Prevention, Containment and Treatment) (National Lockdown) (Amendment) Order, 2020 on 21 April 2020. The SI in large part replicated the original lockdown Instrument. Of note is that the new instrument designated journalists, newspaper vendors, internet service providers and broadcast services as essential services.On days 22 and 23 of the lockdown, official statistics by the Ministry of Health and Child Care indicated that COVID-19 confirmed cases had increased to twenty-eight (28), whilst the number of deaths relating to COVID-19 remained at three (3). The Ministry of Health and Child Care decentralised COVID-19 testing to provincial and district level, leading to an increase in daily tests of suspected cases. Thus as of 21 April, cumulative tests of suspected COVID-19 cases had increased to four thousand one hundred and forty-nine (4 149), of which four thousand one hundred and twenty-one (4 121) were negative.
2.         Methodology

This report encompasses reports covering the 10 provinces of the country through reports received from the following Forum Members:

  • Zimbabwe Peace Project (ZPP)
  • Media Institute of Southern Africa (MISA)
  • Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights (ZLHR)
  • Counselling Services Unit (CSU)
  • Zimbabwe Association of Doctors for Human Rights, (ZADHR)
  • Zimbabwe Human Rights Association (ZimRights)
3.         General Atmosphere 
Part of the consignment of personal protective equipment and ventilators imported by Sakunda Holdings and Chinese business-people operating in Zimbabwe for use in the COVID-19 response arrived at Robert Mugabe International Airport on 20 April 2020. Sakunda Holdings recently partnered with the government to contribute to COVID-19 response initiatives in the country. It was reported that the consignment will be handed over to the Ministry of Health and Child Care for distribution.The Secretary in the Ministry of Information, Publicity and Broadcasting, Mr Nick Mangwana, reported through a Twitter post that an estimated 65 Zimbabweans who returned from the United Kingdom aboard an Ethiopian Airlines refused to be quarantined at Belvedere Teacher’s College, demanding that they be booked into a hotel. It was reported that the returnees complained about water, sanitation and social distancing as they were required to share bathrooms. Zimbabwe is receiving several returnees from various countries, including COVID-19 hotspot, and management of such returnees does not seem to be flowing smoothly.In Mutare, the Mutare City Council shut down Sakubva farmers market due to the increase in human traffic and the continuous defiance of social distance. The Council has since decentralized farmers markets to Dangamvura, Chikanga and Hobhouse.

In Harare, long queues of vehicles coming into the Harare CBD were witnessed at Mabvuku turnoff police roadblock. It was reported that some of the motorists who did not have required documentation turned off the road and used auxiliary roads to avoid the roadblock. Of concern was the large number of people who are defying the lockdown by going into town without required documentation.

In Glenorah, Harare City Council officers instructed vendors to remove vending stalls and temporary shelter. It was reported that Council officials were destroying the shelters in the absence of the owners, and owners were also not allowed to take remaining building materials from the destroyed vending stalls and temporary shelter. This is part of a “clean-up” crusade the City of Harare has been engaged in, which started in Mbare and in Machisipa from Independence Day on 18 April. On 21 April, however, Harare Mayor Obert Gomba issued a statement indicated that he had engaged with the Town Clerk to stop the demolitions until a comprehensive policy has been devised to approach the issue.

In Kuwadzana, it was reported that people were going about their normal business defying the lockdown and social distance. Scores of people besieged the streets whilst children were playing and running around in the streets. In Glen View, anti-riot police were reported to have confiscated 20 crates of alcohol at Mude business centre in Glenview 7. It is alleged that the beer hole was selling alcohol through the back door.

In Chinhoyi, vendors were selling their products on their usual sites. However, most of them were not exercising social distance or sanitizing their hands. It was also reported that police have started night patrols due to the increase in illicit bars.

In Chipinge, scores of people were seen moving around in Chipinge CBD. There were roadblocks on all the roads leading to Chipinge town manned by ZRP officers and soldiers. There were also long queues at N Richards supermarket and OK supermarket of people who were waiting for their turn to buy mealie meal.

4. Arrests
In Chitungwiza on 18 April 2020, police officers arrested Lovemore Zvekusekwa for allegedly circulating false information during the COVID-19 national lockdown. Zvekusukwa appeared in court on 20 April 2020 on charges of contravening section 31(a)(i) of the Criminal Law (Codification and Reform) Act [Chapter 9:23]. It is alleged that Zvekusekwa developed and forwarded a fake press statement which indicated that the President was extending the lockdown by 13 days from 20 April to 3 May. Zvekusekwa was denied bail when he appeared in court, and is due to appear in court on 13 May. This is the first arrest relating to the circulation of “false news” relating to COVID-19. The arrest comes after the President indicated that he had instructed members of the Central Intelligence Organisation (CIO) to track down and arrest individuals circulating fake news relating to COVID-19.

In Nkayi, it was reported that police officers arrested seven (7) people for defying the lockdown and for public drinking. It was reported that the arrested persons were buying alcohol through the backdoor at Vimbana bottle store when police officers arrested them. They were taken to Nkayi police station where they were fined ZWL200 before being released.

5. Assaults
In Highfields, Harare, it was reported that three (3) ZANU-PF youths were assaulted by police officers with baton sticks near OK supermarket Machipisa. It was indicated that the trio tried to stop police officers from destroying their vending structures indicating their affiliation to ZANU-PF.  The police would, however, have none of it and assaulted the trio notwithstanding the existence of the recent high court order barring police from assaulting people.

It was reported that police officers assaulted six (6) people at Mkoba 6 shopping centre with baton sticks. It is alleged that community members were queued at Choppies supermarket for groceries when police officers descended on the people and started assaulting them indicating that they were not observing social distance.

6.         Summary of Violations
The table below summarises human rights violations documented by the Forum Secretariat and Forum Members from 30 March 2020 to 21 April 2020.

Nature of Violation Number of Victims Location
Assault 181 Harare, Zvishavane, Masvingo, Bulawayo, Wedza, Chinhoyi, Zaka, Gweru, Chitungwiza, Bindura, Nembudziya, Chiredzi, Marondera, Mutoko, Chivi, Bikita, Zvishavane
Attack on Journalists 12 Mutare, Gweru, Chinhoyi, Harare, Chiredzi, Masvingo
Arrests 207 Masvingo, Gokwe, Gweru, Bulawayo, Chinhoyi, Hwange, Harare, Magunje, Lupane, Norton, Bikita, Mutasa, Chitungwiza, Nkayi
Malicious Damage to Property 1 Harare

7.         Litigation Monitoring  
Harare High Court judge Justice Joseph Mafusire ordered the Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation (ZBC) to ensure that there is a sign language interpreter on all news broadcasts. He also ordered the Ministry of Health and Childcare to ensure that its daily update on the COVID-19 situation is also sent as a voice recording to enable the blind to also access information. He ordered this in a matter which had been brought to court by the Centre for Disability and Development, Deaf Zimbabwe Trust and Zimbabwe National League of The Blind against ZBC; the Minister of Information, Publicity and Broadcasting Services; the Minister of Health and Child Care and the Minister of Public Service, Labour and Social Welfare.

In a separate application brought to the High Court by the Media Insitute of Southern Africa (MISA) Zimbabwe chapter, Justice Musakwa ordered the Ministry of Health and Child Care to publish and disseminate information on the testing and treatment centres at national, provincial and district hospitals allocated for dealing with COVID-19 cases.

The High Court also ordered police to recognize 2019 press cards and not to interfere with the work of journalists on the basis that their press cards were issued in 2019.   The order was granted by Justice Jacob Manzunzu who also ordered the Commissioner of Police to ensure that the Zimbabwe Media Commission’s statement about the validity of the 2019 press cards is communicated to all police stations in Zimbabwe within 3 days of the order. The matter had also been filed by the Media Institute of Southern Africa (MISA) Zimbabwe.

In addition reports of assaults and excessive use of force by the police, continue to be received in different parts of the country.   These action are a potentially a wilful contempt of the court which has barred the police and the army from assaulting citizens in implementing the lockdown.

8. Conclusion
As Zimbabwe is now in extended lockdown, it is imperative that a human-rights based approach be taken, in order to reap the dividends of the lockdown. This includes stepping up measures to ensure provision of basic needs for people, improving case management systems, and adequately equipping personnel and facilities handling COVID-19 related cases. Although the government has been ordered to provide personal protective clothing to health workers and frontline responders, there has been no positive feedback from health workers countrywide that government has started supplying the equipment.  The Forum urges the government to comply with court orders that have been issued by the courts so far to ensure that rights are protected in the response measures. Meanwhile, the Forum continues to implore upon everyone in Zimbabwe to cooperate with authorities and observe guidelines and best-practices as provided by the World Health Organisation.

Post published in: Featured

Make Money Monday: How Lawyers Can Make Zoom Bloom and Boom Rather Than Doom Online Marketing

By now, most lawyers are well-acquainted with Zoom,  which has quickly emerged as a lifeline for lawyers attempting to re-establish a semblance of their former IRL online.  As with any other marketing tools – whether Yellow Pages from days of yore to the web and social media, Zoom is just a medium for conveying content.  The message that you convey through that content still depends entirely on you.  In other words, whether you get in front of people on Zoom or Facebook or face-to-face-but-six-feet-apart, garbage in still equals garbage out..  With that in mind, below are a couple of suggestions that zoom in on ways that your firm can use Zoom to market make your practice bloom and boom, rather than doom it to embarrassment or ethics violations. 

Network Online With Purpose  

With most in-person networking events cancelled, some lawyers have tried to fall back on zoom to take advantage of the void by creating online happy hours to replace in person interaction.  Having attended some of these online extravaganzas, I can tell you they’ve been a big bust – with dull, stilted conversation, or no meaningful opportunity to introduce myself and discuss my business.  That’s not to say that you shouldn’t try a Zoom chat – but rather than just toss out an invitation, think about a topic you might tackle, or hand-select a small group of participants who would enjoy meeting each other.  A successful Zoom call isn’t about nabbing that vanity screen-shot grid of 100 participants, but rather, about collaborating, exchanging ideas and making connection.  When a participant comes away from a Zoom call that has stimulated that level of discussion, you can bet that they will think of you for case referrals and other opportunities in the future.  

Help Others Feel Comfortable Online   

Many lawyers aren’t yet comfortable with all of Zoom’s technical features or come across like some character to of the Blair Witch Project because they haven’t mastered lighting or makeup.  Why not sponsor a Zoom for beginners’ call where you could help your colleagues or small business clients run through the various Zoom controls and offer tips on background lighting, positioning the camera to achieve a flattering angle and appropriate attire and makeup (if you’re not comfortable talking about appearance face to face, you can send an article like this one from Forbes, or this post from my friend Michael Eisenbertg’s Tech Savvy Lawyer Blog  on using a  lume cub for lighting.  Teaching others to Zoom with confidence will help them generate clients and cash, which increases your chances of being hired or referred cases in return.

Make Content Useable

Zoom is so user friendly and cheap (as in free!) that it’s easy to produce hour-long webinars.  Trouble is, who wants to sit through the playback?  To make your content more palatable for users,  you can do what I did for my nearly two-hour Zoom session which is to annotate the video, or you could transcribe your entire video with cheap AI-powered tools like Trint or Sonix.

Do One on One Zooms

Many clients are now inundated with Zoom webinar offers. – but still demand on on one attention. Invite clients to a personal zoom session or schedule catch up calls with colleagues that are face to face.  Or consider a Meet and Eat, an idea I posted about a couple of years ago.  

Just Do It!

Finally, if you haven’t been using Zoom at all, now’s the time to take the plunge. Though I’ve been using online video to deliver webinars since the days of now defunct Dim Dim (circa 2008), I hadn’t been a fan of video calls until recently. Just employing the platform on a regular basis has made me a more facile user but also given me new ideas on how to use the platform.  Stay tuned!

How are you using Zoom in your practice? Share your ideas in the comments below?

Paul Singer Should Probably Just Factor In A Fine Whenever Investing In French Transport

Scooter Is Now The Perjury Dog And You May Tweet Her Your Stories Of Lying Under Oath, General Dishonesty

Last week, I wrote about the rarity that is a criminal prosecution for lying during the course of a family law case. It seems that a good number of you took that to mean something along the lines of “email me your story about someone lying in a family law case.” A couple of you even tracked down my phone number to call me with your tales of matrimonial law woe.

There’s nothing really wrong with that, I’m not annoyed or anything (although I might not get back to all of you in a timely fashion, I get a lot of email). I know people need to express this stuff, and therapy is expensive. Unfortunately, there is not a surplus of willing ears ready to listen. Yet, I am only one man.

Nearly crippled by despair over the sorry state of honest discourse in modern society, as I read a few of my more entertaining emails aloud, a partial solution presented itself. I realized that the lab-border collie mix curled up at my feet just viscerally f*cking hates perjury. She simply cannot stand the thought of someone taking an oath and then casually disregarding it.

“Ever since I was a little pup [which was about eight months ago], I’ve had a very strong respect for the truth,” Scooter said. “I couldn’t just sit by in good conscience and let people lie like that when the consequences were so dire. Something had to be done, and after we talked it over, my colleague Mr. Wolf agreed to be my sidekick.”

Thus, the simple household canine Scooter was reborn (on Twitter) as Perjury Dog.

OK, so maybe Scooter didn’t actually say that stuff, but that’s what I took her to mean when I stopped reading perjury emails at her and she rolled over for a belly rub. At any rate, Perjury Dog is a living saint. She is going to listen to all the stories you tweet at her about perjury, perfidiousness, and general dishonesty. Not sure if it’s really perjury or just being an asshole? No problem, Perjury Dog might be able to help you sort it out! If something unusually compelling comes up, maybe she’ll even get her sidekick to write about it.

“We haven’t come up with a name for him yet,” Perjury Dog said. “Maybe Lawyer Person, something like that? It doesn’t really matter, no one’s here for him.”

Perjury Dog isn’t necessarily going to be limited to stories about lying under oath in court. There are all kinds of situations in which lying or evasiveness could (or should) place a person in legal jeopardy, and she wants to call bullshit on all of them. Meanwhile, Perjury Dog’s sidekick, [sidekick name to be determined], will continue to look mainly for financial-related deceitfulness so as to not stretch his editor’s tolerance for columnist creativity to the breaking point. Perjury Dog will also tweet a Perjury Dog Lie of the Week, and a lot of bad dog puns. Woof!

In case any of you need a reminder of the actual definition of perjury, here’s what it is in my jurisdiction (the definition in your jurisdiction should be pretty similar):

Subdivision 1. Acts constituting. Whoever makes a false material statement not believing it to be true in any of the following cases is guilty of perjury and may be sentenced as provided in subdivision 4:

(1) in or for an action, hearing or proceeding of any kind in which the statement is required or authorized by law to be made under oath or affirmation;

(2) in any writing which is required or authorized by law to be under oath or affirmation;

Minn. Stat. § 609.48.

So, feel free to tweet your stories of perjury and nonperjurious dishonesty alike to @PerjuryDog. Have fun, and remember: Perjury Dog is here to listen, and to educate!


Jonathan Wolf is a litigation associate at a midsize, full-service Minnesota firm. He also teaches as an adjunct writing professor at Mitchell Hamline School of Law, has written for a wide variety of publications, and makes it both his business and his pleasure to be financially and scientifically literate. Any views he expresses are probably pure gold, but are nonetheless solely his own and should not be attributed to any organization with which he is affiliated. He wouldn’t want to share the credit anyway. He can be reached at jon_wolf@hotmail.com.

Insemination Fraud Case Scores Win

“Fertility fraud” or “insemination fraud” is a newly developing area of law that — unfortunately — has become more prominent with the rising popularity of home DNA kits. Apparently, a lot of fertility doctors treated their patients with their own sperm, and only recently got busted for their heinous misconduct. In some of these cases, doctors even used their own sperm in place of a husband’s potentially viable sperm, meaning that the doctor caused a child to not be genetically related to their legal father.

To date, courts have struggled with how to handle these cases and how to let a jury weigh damages, if any. Can the child bring a medical practice claim years after the offending act? Is it a “wrongful life” or “wrongful pregnancy” lawsuit? Is there a “pain and suffering” component to not being related to your legal parent? These are tough questions for any jurist. However, a recent court order has opened at least one potential path for victims of this misconduct.

Judge David C. Nye of the United States District Court for the District of Idaho — who was first nominated by President Barack Obama and then renominated by President Donald Trump and confirmed in 2017 — has been doing his reading. In ruling on a number of motions in an insemination fraud case before him, Nye quoted heavily from the writings of Professor Jody Madeira, an insemination fraud expert and friend of this column. For example, Nye echoed Madeira’s description of the intrinsic violations committed by doctors against their patients.

[P]hysicians’ inseminations of nonconsenting (and unaware) patients represents a gross trespass under all standards of practice — including those in place decades ago… [W]hen a physician masturbates to produce a sample in one examination room, and then immediately uses that sample to inseminate a patient in another room, the boundaries are blurred between the clinical procurement of a biological sample and the sexual touching associated with masturbation, orgasm, and ejaculation. Insemination fraud introduces the gravest conflict of interest into the physician-patient relationship.

Well when you put it like that! Yeah, it’s even grodier than we had been talking about before. Generally, I try to keep this column classy by avoiding discussion of illicit masturbation and ejaculation. But in this context there’s no avoiding it. And it’s good to see that a federal court is delving into these same challenging and … sticky issues. Sorry.

The Case.

Regular readers of this column may recall the case of Kelli Rowlette and her, and her parents’, shocking lawsuit against Idaho doctor Gerald Mortimer. Forty years ago, in order to conceive, Rowlette’s parents Sally Ashby and Howard Fowler sought Mortimer’s assistance. After failed inseminations, Mortimer recommended that he mix anonymous sperm together with Fowler’s in order to increase the chances of conception (not a “procedure” that is currently done, but it was, apparently, a thing back in the day). The couple agreed after being reassured that the anonymous donor sperm would be from a college student resembling Fowler. The procedure worked, and the couple was overjoyed to give birth to their daughter.

Decades later, Rowlette took a home DNA kit and was surprised to see her results come back indicating that a Gerald Mortimer was her father. Not recognizing the name, she believed her parents when they said it must be a mistake in the test. The parents, however, were secretly horrified and did not want to devastate their daughter with the truth they were just now realizing –- their doctor had used his own sperm to inseminate Ashby, and it was their doctor who was Rowlette’s genetic father.

A few months later, when Rowlette came across a copy of her birth certificate listing Mortimer as the delivering doctor, she remembered the name, and she knew the DNA test results were not a mistake.

Legal Obstacles.

Rowlette and her parents brought a lawsuit against Mortimer, alleging medical malpractice, among other causes of action. Unfortunately, like other lawsuits in the arena of insemination fraud, the case has experienced a rocky road. In fact, the court dismissed Rowlette herself from the case, ruling that she “was never a patient of Dr. Mortimer’s with respect to the alleged misconduct that took place before she was born” and therefore the doctor did not breach any duty of care to her. However, the case was allowed to continue as to the parents Ashby and Fowler, specifically as to the medical malpractice claims.

The Court Starts To Get It. Finally. 

In February, Nye ruled on a number of significant motions for the case, including Mortimer’s motion for summary judgment — claiming plaintiffs lacked the elements of causation and damages for their claim — and Ashby and Fowler’s motion to amend their complaint to include a request for punitive damages.

In a win for insemination fraud cases generally, the judge ruled in favor of the plaintiffs on multiple counts, denying Mortimer’s motion for summary judgement and granting the plaintiffs’ request to include a request for punitive damages.

Mortimer had contended that the plaintiffs’ claims must be dismissed because they cannot show causation between Mortimer’s malpractice and the damages suffered by his former clients. This was despite admitting in deposition that Mortimer knew that what he did was wrong, and that he understood why his actions would cause emotional distress. But Mortimer’s counsel argued that it would have been impossible for Mortimer to foresee the damages, because he could not have foreseen how he was caught -– “through the internet and through DNA matching, two technologies that were incomprehensible during the relevant time period.” In a laughable moment of the 51-page order, the court points out that there is “obviously a distinction” between understanding one’s conduct could cause harm, and foreseeing being caught. That’s a third-degree burn.

Yes To Punitive Damages Despite Claim of Good Intentions.

In another enjoyable part of the order, the court shut down Mortimer’s argument against the plaintiffs’ addition of punitive damages because “the evidence in the record indicates Dr. Mortimer’s intentions were to do good.” The court quoted from Madeira’s writings again to point to a sinister flaw in this reasoning. “It is particularly despicable when such unscrupulous physicians — like other predators — use patients’ ‘desperation’ as an excuse for illicit inseminations … These are the same defenses that misogynists proffer to justify sexual harassment (‘She needed the attention!’ ‘She was asking for it!’), or when abusers blame victims and present themselves as the injured parties. These assertions hijack vulnerability and commonly reinjure those who are already suffering.”

Catching up with Madeira by email she added, “This latest order exhibits sound legal — and emotional — sense, and it bodes well for the plaintiff parents that Nye eviscerated Mortimer’s self-serving arguments. Mortimer’s motion for summary judgment had to twist the law to fit the bad facts — and I find it especially ironic to read because he’s the only one in the gallery of deceptive doctors to actually put his own DNA up on an internet testing service.” Wow. Bold.

While this case has a way to go before Ashby, Fowler, and Rowlette can feel that our justice system has truly recognized the wrong they suffered, the latest ruling is a positive step. Congrats to the family on winning this battle and to Madeira for her work getting the judicial acknowledgment it deserves.


Ellen Trachman is the Managing Attorney of Trachman Law Center, LLC, a Denver-based law firm specializing in assisted reproductive technology law, and co-host of the podcast I Want To Put A Baby In You. You can reach her at babies@abovethelaw.com.

Major International Law Firm’s Instagram Account Taken Over By Dancing Kid

Working from home isn’t easy. I think this far into our self isolation/social distancing experiment we can all admit that. And those of you, erm, locked up with families have it even worse. Tiny spaces, boredom, a pandemic, and kids just don’t mix well. One family has also learned the hard way that it can create an epic social media faux pas.

As revealed by Roll on Friday, an employee at Simmons & Simmons, a U.K.-based firm with $500,311,000 in 2018 gross revenue making them 93rd on the Global 200, had his phone hijacked by his daughter who then, in turn, took over the Simmons & Simmons Instagram account with some sick dance moves. Taking place in a backyard, the daughter broadcast her skills to the musical stylings of U.K. artist Wiley’s song Heatwave, featuring vocals by Ms D.

The good folks at Roll on Friday have a breakdown of exactly what happened on the now deleted post (because of course):

The live show captures ‘Lil D’ dancing to, “On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body” until mum ruins everything by stopping the music.

“Mum! Muuum”, complains Lil D, “What did you dooo?”

“Get off the phone”, replies the girl’s mother. Lil D responds by turning the music back on, jumping into the frame and continuing to work it for her concert fans.

“Where’s my phone?” asks mum. “Your work phone’s there”, replies her daughter. “Where’s my other phone?” “There!” shouts Lil D, still grooving.

There is a panicked pause from mum. “Are you on instagram?”

“Yeah”, replies the girl, and mum grabs the phone.

“Wait!” cries Lil D.

Mum’s face looms into shot as the girl keeps on dancing in the background.

“Are you on, um…”, asks mum, with a distinct sliver of doubt in her voice. At which point her daughter grabs back the phone and dashes into the house, giggling.

“Oi!” shouts her father. Lil D stops. “Wait, is this your work one?”, she asks innocently.

“Yes!” screams dad. “Oh”, remarks the chastened girl, and the video feed cuts out on the best post which Simmons & Simmons has produced, or ever will.

In case the written word doesn’t quite capture the essence of this WFH snafu, a recording (with all the parties’ faces blurred) of the IG live show is available.

While Simmons & Simmons hasn’t commented on the incident, I, for one, think it’s great. It’s the most relatable thing that’s happened in Biglaw in, like, forever.


headshotKathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).