(Photo
by
Apu
Gomes/Getty
Images)
Black
Card:
“We
have
terrible
news.
Seven
years
ago,
150,000
people
paid
us
$15
to
protect
a
pristine
parcel
of
land
on
the
US-Mexico
border
from
racist
billionaire
Donald
Trump’s
very
stupid
wall.
Unfortunately,
an
even
richer,
more
racist
billionaire,
…………
snuck
up
on
us
from
behind
and
completely
fucked
that
land
with
gravel,
tractors,
and
space
garbage.”
White
Card:
Elon
Musk,
via
SpaceX,
the
rocket
company
he
uses
to
subsidize
his
stupid
plan
to
colonize
Mars
for
the
Übermenschen.
In
2017,
the
guys
behind
the
wildly
successful
party
game
Cards
Against
Humanity
(CAH)
crowdsourced
$15
each
from
roughly
150,000
people
to
“purchase
a
plot
of
vacant
land
on
the
US/Mexico
border
and
retain
a
law
firm
specializing
in
eminent
domain
to
make
it
as
time-consuming
and
expensive
as
possible
for
Trump
to
build
his
preposterous
wall.”
“Unfortunately,
the
United
States
government
is
more
powerful
than
a
comedy
card
game,”
they
conceded.
“However,
we’ll
do
everything
we
can
to
protest
the
wall
and
slow
down
the
process
of
eminent
domain.
If
Trump
tries
to
build
a
wall
on
our
land,
we’ll
be
a
big
pain
in
the
ass.”
And
indeed,
Trump
was
a
“big
pain
in
the
ass,”
and
continues
to
be
so.
But
with
respect
to
the
CAH
plot
in
Texas,
Elon
Musk
turned
out
to
be
an
even
bigger
pain.
According
to
a
complaint
filed
in
the
District
Court
of
Cameron
County,
SpaceX,
which
has
a
launch
site
just
three
miles
away,
cleared
the
land
of
vegetation,
laid
down
hard
gravel,
and
has
been
using
it
as
a
construction
site
for
six
months.
“After
we
caught
him,
SpaceX
gave
us
a
12-hour
ultimatum
to
accept
a
lowball
offer
for
less
than
half
our
land’s
value,”
CAH
wrote
on
a
website
announcing
the
suit.
“We
said,
‘Go
fuck
yourself,
Elon
Musk.
We’ll
see
you
in
court.’”
The
complaint
alleges
trespass,
nuisance,
unjust
enrichment,
and
tortious
interference
with
existing
and
prospective
contracts
and
business
relationships.
That
last
is
a
pretty
good
troll,
since
it’s
exactly
what
Twitter
alleged
in
the
SLAPP
suit
against
Media
Matters
for
America
for
publishing
screenshots
of
Nazi
content
next
to
ads
for
companies
like
IBM,
Disney+,
and
Oracle.
Twitter
dragged
Media
Matters,
which
operates
in
DC,
into
federal
court
in
Texas
demanding
to
be
made
whole
for
the
ensuing
advertiser
exodus,
and
it
ensured
that
it
got
the
case
in
front
of
Judge
Reed
O’Connor,
one
of
the
only
judges
in
the
country
craven
enough
to
deny
a
motion
to
dismiss
for
lack
of
personal
jurisdiction.
Here,
CAH
claims
reputational
damage
with
the
donors
who
subsidized
the
purchase
of
the
land
and
demands
at
least
$15
million.
“Musk,
by
allowing
his
company
to
wrongfully
operate
on
CAH’s
Property,
casts
the
shadow
of
possible
association
between
him
and
CAH,”
they
argue
in
the
complaint.
“Nothing
could
be
more
offensive
to
CAH
nor
more
harmful
to
its
reputation
with
its
supporters.”
In
addition
to
suing,
CAH
set
up
ElonOwesYou100Dollars.com,
to
publicize
the
effort.
If
we
win,
we’ll
equally
split
the
lawsuit’s
net
proceeds
among
all
150,000
of
our
original
subscribers,
up
to
$100
each.
While
this
isn’t
enough
to
compensate
our
subscribers
for
the
anguish
they’ve
suffered
witnessing
Elon
Musk
defile
their
once-verdant
land⸺where
wild
horses
galloped
freely
in
the
Texas
moonlight⸺we
think
it’s
a
pretty
good
start.
“P.S.
We
will
also
accept
Twitter.com
as
compensation,”
they
add.
It’s
an
excellent
troll,
and
one
which
is
guaranteed
to
drive
the
internet’s
most
brain-poisoned
oligarch
to
lose
his
shit.
Liz
Dye lives
in
Baltimore
where
she
produces
the
Law
and
Chaos substack and podcast.
Chris
Kathryn
