(Photo
by
Ollie
Millington/WireImage)
After
a
jury
found
A$AP
Rocky
not
guilty
of
a
2021
shooting,
the
artist
and
his
even-more-famous
partner
Rihanna
reportedly
took
the
opportunity
to
thank
Rocky’s
lawyer
in
the
sweetest
way
possible.
In
an
interview
with
Extra,
the
victorious
defense
attorney
shared,
“Rihanna
and
Rocky
said
to
me
in
the
courtroom
yesterday,
they
grabbed
me
and
they
said,
‘Listen,
our
next
baby
is
A$AP
Joe.’”
That
probably
isn’t
replacing
any
of
the
billable
hours,
but
it
beats
a
fruit
basket!
The
future
A$AP’s
namesake
is
Joe
Tacopina,
(whose
website,
we
note,
now
sports
a
new
font!),
whose
relationship
with
the
family
seems
to
have
leveled
up
after
formerly
babysitting
the
couple’s
first
child
while
Rihanna
performed
at
the
Super
Bowl,
becoming
the
first
lawyer
to
take
on
babysitting
duty
since
Lionel
Hutz
(a.k.a.
Miguel
Sanchez,
a.k.a.
Dr.
Nguyen
Van
Thoc)
watched
the
Simpson
kids
for
32
hours.
It’s
a
much
nicer
gesture
than
Tacopina
might
be
used
to.
The
last
big
defendant
that
Tacopina
successfully
represented
(or
perhaps
babysat)
ran
to
his
personal
social
media
platform
and
Truth
Socialed
a
slobbering
diatribe
against
the
lawyer
for
managing
to
keep
Trump
from
owing
even
MORE
money
for
defaming
E.
Jean
Carroll
by
calling
her
a
liar
over
the
—
as
the
judge
put
it
—
colloquial-but-not-strictly-legal-definition
rape.
And
yet
this
is
what
Tacopina
got
by
way
of
thanks:
This
disgusting
Slob,
a
Democrat
Political
Operative,
is
the
same
guy
who
funded
a
woman
who
I
knew
absolutely
nothing
about,
sued
me
for
Rape,
for
which
I
was
found
NOT
GUILTY.
She
didn’t
remember
the
year,
decade,
or
much
else!
In
Interviews
she
said
some
amazingly
“inconsistent”
things.
Disgraceful
Trial—Very
unfair.
I
was
asked
by
my
lawyer
not
to
attend—“It
was
beneath
me,
and
they
have
no
case.”
That
was
not
good
advice.
Here
on
planet
Earth,
Tacopina’s
decision
to
keep
the
incoherent
and
off-putting
Trump
out
of
the
courtroom
was
likely
instrumental
to
convincing
the
jury
that
Trump’s
actions
were
more
legally
characterized
as
sexual
assault
than
rape.
By
contrast,
Trump
did
get
to
speak
at
his
subsequent
criminal
trial
and
only
succeeded
in
getting
convicted
34
times.
Probably
should’ve
kept
listening
to
Joe.
Another
fun
tidbit:
Tacopina’s
Extra
interview
was
conducted
by
Billy
Bush,
who
famously
found
himself
on
the
receiving
end
of
Trump’s
“grab
’em
by
the
pussy”
remarks
later
referenced
in
the
Carroll
case.
Because
time
isn’t
so
much
a
flat
circle,
but
a
Möbius
strip
of
jackassery
perpetually
orbiting
Trump.
A$AP
Rocky’s
Attorney
Says
Rapper
&
Rihanna
Promised
to
Name
Next
Kid
Joe
(Exclusive)
[Extra]
Earlier:
Trump
Flames
His
Lawyer
Joe
Tacopina
On
Truth
Social
Trump
Gets
Carroll
Judge
To
Brand
Him
A
Digital
Rapist.
Again.
Donald
Trump’s
Lawyer
Needs
A
Graphic
Designer
Who
Isn’t
Copying
And
Pasting
Quinn
Emanuel’s
Logo
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.
Joe
also
serves
as
a
Managing
Director
at
RPN
Executive
Search.