by
Dimitrios
Kambouris/Getty
Images
for
The
Met
Museum/Vogue)
Right-wing
agitprop
has
screamed
bloody
murder
ever
since
Judge
Paul
Engelmayer
issued
a
temporary
restraining
order
ordering
Elon
Musk’s
merry
band
of
morons
to
refrain
from
playing
around
with
Treasury
Department
data,
specifically
sensitive
personally
identifiable
information,
for
SIX
DAYS
to
allow
the
parties
to
fully
brief
the
matter.
Musk
keeps
insisting
DOGE
is
just
an
innocent
audit
to
expose
corruption.
A
lot
of
people
are
parroting
this
claim
because
Dunning-Kruger
is
real
and
it’s
spectacular.
Though
if
DOGE
were
conducting
a
good
faith
audit…
why
would
this
order
be
controversial?
Audits
don’t
collapse
if
they
wait
another
week
into
a
four-year
term.
And
yet
Musk
and
his
cronies
responded
to
the
order
with
the
same
trademark
anxiety
as
a
coke
dealer
hovering
over
a
toilet
with
an
industrial-grade
plunger
while
cops
bang
on
the
door.
Curious!
After
spending
a
couple
days
complaining
that
judicial
oversight
cannot
apply
to
the
executive
branch
—
and
leaning
into
Carl
Schmitt’s
literal
Nazi
ideology
for
good
measure
—
Musk
took
a
break
from
watching
someone
else
make
his
Diablo
IV
character
famous
and
stumbled
upon
a
new
theory
to
blast
the
TRO:
judge
shopping.
You
know…
the
thing
Musk
shamelessly
does
all
the
time.
As
an
aside,
all
this
ire
—
now
the
prospect
of
impeachment!
—
against
Judge
Engelmayer
is
extra
bizarre
since
he’s
not
the
judge
who
will
hear
the
case.
He
just
delayed
even
the
risk
of
further
damage
to
the
data
until
Judge
Jeannette
Vargas
hears
the
parties.
It’s
almost
as
though
they’re
hoping
to
whip
up
enough
baseless
rage
that
it
might
intimidate
Judge
Vargas.
Shopping
around
the
country?
The
Southern
District
of
New
York
is
the
most
important
court
in
the
country
(don’t
@
me,
DC).
It
has
40
active
and
senior
judges
in
the
Manhattan
courthouse
including
multiple
Republican
nominees,
including
four
by
Trump.
As
for
the
idea
that
the
plaintiffs
shopped
for
Engelmayer
specifically,
they
had
a
2.5
percent
chance
of
drawing
him
for
the
TRO.
If
Musk’s
adversaries
decided
to
“shop
around
the
country
for
an
activist
judge
to
do
their
bidding,”
they
did
a
particularly
horrible
job
choosing
the
SDNY.
But
the
right-wing
echo
chamber
is
acting
as
though
Wall
Street’s
courthouse
is
an
Antifa
book
club.
Musk’s
latest
salvo
depends
on
exploiting
an
audience
unfamiliar
with
the
difference
between
forum
shopping
and
judge
shopping.
When
plaintiffs
have
a
basis
to
bring
a
case
in
one
of
many
districts,
they’ll
often
“forum
shop”
and
bring
the
claim
where
they
can
benefit
the
most.
Generally
this
takes
the
form
of
finding
a
court
on
the
favorable
side
of
a
split
between
circuits
or
one
where
the
pool
of
randomly
assigned
judges
works
in
the
plaintiffs’
favor.
Like,
for
example,
bringing
a
case
about
Treasury
data
in
the
district
that
hears
all
the
country’s
core
financial
cases
and
the
judges
spent
their
pre-judicial
careers
representing
big
financial
institutions.
But
it’s
still
a
random
assignment,
meaning
the
litigants
are
more
interested
in
the
skills
and
experience
of
the
pool
as
a
whole
because
there’s
little
to
no
chance
of
drawing
any
one
judge.
This
is
distinct
from
“judge
shopping,”
where
a
litigant
brings
a
claim
in
a
district
where
the
local
rules
allow
the
case
to
be
heard
by
only
one
judge.
Essentially
converting
“random”
to
“guarantee.”
This
has
given
rise
to
a
number
of
flagrant
abuses.
It
might
SEEM
to
a
non-lawyer
audience
like
this
is
a
situation
where
“both
sides
do
it,”
but
as
it
turns
out
it’s
almost
exclusively
a
conservative
racket.
Single-judge
courthouses
—
as
one
might
suspect
—
exist
in
geographically
huge
districts
with
rural
areas
a
long
way
away
from
large
cities.
Those
districts
mostly
exist
in
bright
red
states
where
home
state
senators
spent
decades
reserving
seats
to
establish
a
right-wing
dominated
federal
bench.
As
Republicans
drew
more
judges
from
the
ranks
of
far-right
activist
groups,
conservatives
took
the
opportunity
to
exercise
(and
sometimes
even
concoct)
jurisdiction
in
these
rural
courthouses
to
take
advantage
of
specific
judges.
The
damage
to
court
credibility
was
so
palpable
that
the
Judicial
Conference
sought
to
put
the
brakes
on
this
to
preserve
the
sanctity
of
the
courts.
But
the
proposed
rule
died
on
the
vine
after
MAGA
activists
lost
their
minds
over
it,
arguing
that
judge
shopping
almost
amounts
to
a
fundamental
human
right
and
that
criticizing
the
practice
causes
death
threats.
But,
magically,
they
don’t
seem
all
that
concerned
now.
By
contrast,
Musk
absolutely
loves
judge
shopping.
After
advertisers
began
to
flee
Musk’s
new
racial
slur-friendly
Twitter
format,
he
told
them
to
“go
fuck
yourself.”
When
that
shockingly
failed
to
charm
them
back
into
the
fold,
he
accepted
the
consequences
of
the
free
market
like
a
self-respecting
capitalist.
Just
kidding,
he
sued
them.
Arguing
that
private
advertisers
choosing
to
not
give
him
their
money
was
basically
a
RICO-monopoly
may
seem
like
a
patently
absurd
claim
but
that’s
only
because
it
is.
So
he
sought
out
a
judge
who
appreciates
patently
absurd
claims,
shoehorning
an
obscure
Danish
renewable
energy
company
into
the
suit
alongside
big
box
advertisers
in
order
to
square-peg-round-hole
a
justification
to
drop
the
claim
in
front
of
Judge
Reed
O’Connor.
After
it
came
out
(in
another
matter)
that
O’Connor
owned
a
bunch
of
Tesla
stock,
he
recused
himself
on
that
case
but
decided
the
financial
stake
in
Musk’s
business
did
not
preclude
him
from
overseeing
X’s
claims
against
Media
Matters.
The
watchdog
group
tested
X
executives’
claims
that
it
would
be
impossible
for
companies
to
find
their
ads
served
next
to
white
nationalist
rants
and
discovered
it
was…
whatever
the
exact
opposite
of
impossible
is.
Apparently
his
financial
stake
was
too
much
to
rule
against
CVS
but
just
enough
to
rule
against
Media
Matters!
His
opinion
attempting
to
justify
not
recusing
himself
was
comically
shoddy,
leaning
on
a
tissue-paper
thin
corporate
veil
between
X
and
the
Elon
Musk
Personal
Brand
Meme
Stock
known
as
Tesla.
But
Musk’s
misadventures
with
O’Connor
don’t
stop
there!
Musk
went
to
the
trouble
of
rewriting
the
X
terms
of
service
to
place
any
dispute
against
the
social
media
company
in
front
of
O’Connor.
When
Musk
brings
the
matter,
guaranteeing
himself
a
single
judge
in
an
out-of-the-way
courthouse
is
fine.
When
Musk
is
on
the
other
side,
bringing
a
case
in
MANHATTAN
with
a
2
percent
chance
of
catching
any
particular
judge…
OUTRAGE!
CORRUPTION!
DEEP
STATE!
DOGS
AND
CATS
LIVING
TOGETHER!
Musk’s
argument
about
judge
shopping
is
somehow
both
wrong
and
projection.
No
one
expects
Musk
or
his
followers
to
embrace
actual
reforms
to
stop
judge
shopping.
The
entire
right-wing
legal
movement
is
built
on
using
small,
rural
courthouses
to
secure
high-impact
nationwide
injunctions.
But
the
fact
that
Musk
is
trying
to
use
this
argument
at
all
means
he
knows
how
bad
it
looks
when
people
actually
understand
it.
Unfortunately,
people
don’t
understand
it
and
most
of
the
media
seems
just
fine
letting
Musk
feed
them
this
horseshit
by
the
shovel.
Earlier:
Judge
Told
Trump
And
Musk
To
Follow
The
Law
For
A
Week.
They’re
Calling
It
Tyranny.
Elon
Musk
Changes
X
Terms
To
Push
All
Disputes
Toward
Tesla-Investor
Federal
Judge
Unhinged
Federal
Judge
Thinks
Criticizing
Judge
Shopping
Causes
Death
Threats
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.
Joe
also
serves
as
a
Managing
Director
at
RPN
Executive
Search.