by
KENNY
HOLSTON/POOL/AFP
via
Getty
Images)
“This
is
going
to
be
a
big
year
for
redefining
our
relationships
with
governments,”
Facebook
Sith
Lord
Mark
Zuckerberg
told
investors
on
an
earnings
call
yesterday.
And
he
wasn’t
kidding!
Zuck
discovered
a
new
and
innovative
way
to
bribe
the
sitting
president.
What
if
you
pretend
to
lose
a
lawsuit
you
already
won,
and
then
agree
to
fork
over
a
massive
settlement,
while
rolling
over
to
show
your
belly?
It
might
not
maximize
shareholder
value,
but
it
will
definitely
“redefine”
your
relationship
with
the
despot
who
only
recently
threatened
to
throw
you
in
jail.
The
Wall
Street
Journal’s
Annie
Linskey
and
Rebecca
Balhaus
were
first
to
report
details
of
the
settlement
between
the
social
media
company
and
President
Trump.
The
case
was
originally
filed
in
Florida
in
2021,
along
with
similar
complaints
against
Twitter
and
YouTube.
Trump’s
theory
was
that
the
social
media
platforms
violated
his
First
Amendment
rights
by
tortiously
deplatforming
him
after
he
mounted
a
coup
to
stay
in
power
and
sent
his
goons
to
lay
siege
to
Congress.
Of
course,
only
the
government
can
violate
the
First
Amendment,
and,
according
to
linear
time
—
fake
news!
—
Trump
was
president
when
he
got
booted
on
January
7,
2021.
But
Trump
had
a
solution
for
that,
and
it
was
to
blame
Adam
Schiff.
See,
some
members
of
Congress,
most
notably
Senators
Josh
Hawley
and
Ted
Cruz
called
for
social
media
platforms
to
lose
their
immunity
under
Section
230
of
the
Communications
Decency
Act.
Trump
himself
actually
vetoed
the
defense
budget
in
2020
because
Congress
refused
to
include
a
repeal
of
Section
230.
But
then-Congressman
now-Senator
Schiff
also
made
noises
about
that
a
couple
times,
and
suggested
that
the
platforms
should
do
more
about
COVID
misinformation.
And
that
was
a
threat
that
turned
Facebook,
Twitter,
and
YouTube
into
government
agents,
ipso
fatso
…
First
Amendment
violation!
Perhaps
unsurprisingly,
courts
didn’t
see
it
that
way.
First,
the
cases
were
booted
to
California
consistent
with
the
websites’
terms
of
service.
And
then
Judge
James
Donato
nuked
the
Twitter
suit
in
2022
for
being
defective
in
more
or
less
every
way.
Trump
appealed,
and
the
Meta
and
YouTube
suits
were
put
on
hold
pending
review
by
the
Ninth
Circuit,
since
the
three
cases
were
functionally
identical.
That
case
has
been
languishing
forever,
as
the
parties
bat
around
the
Fifth
Circuit’s
batshit
decision
in
Missouri
v.
Murthy
(AKA
“the
jawboning
case”),
and
then
the
Supreme
Court’s
reversal
on
standing
grounds.
But
in
the
meantime,
Twitter
and
Facebook
(or
X
and
Meta,
if
you’re
opposed
to
deadnaming,
which
is
perfectly
fine
on
both
platforms)
appear
to
have
decided
that
it
would
be
better
to
lose
than
bother
litigating
against
the
mad
king.
And
so
Twitter
filed
a
notice
of
proposed
settlement
in
November,
presumably
because
Twitter
and
the
government
are
now
fused
in
the
imperial
singularity
of
Elon
Musk.
And
yesterday
Zuckerberg
got
out
Meta’s
checkbook
and
cut
a
check
for
$25
million
—
$22
million
for
Trump’s
presidential
library,
and
$3
million
for
legal
fees
and
the
other
plaintiffs,
including
Naomi
Wolf.
In
2020,
Zuckerberg’s
family
charity
funded
various
voting
access
initiatives
through
the
Center
for
Tech
and
Civic
Life.
Helping
Americans
to
vote.
Plus
Facebook
briefly
suppressed
the
virality
of
the
Hunter
Biden
Laptop
(From
Hell!)
story.
And
so
Zuck
became
an
enemy
of
the
right,
even
as
he
leaned
over
backward
not
to
apply
his
platform’s
rules
to
conservatives.
And
when
he
trooped
down
to
Mar-a-Lago
in
November,
Trump
“signaled
that
the
litigation
had
to
be
resolved
before
Zuckerberg
could
be
‘brought
into
the
tent,’”
according
to
the
WSJ.
To
be
clear,
this
is
not
like
ABC
settling
the
trollsuit
over
the
Stephanopoulos
calling
Trump
and
“adjudicated
rapist”
— or
at
least,
not
exactly.
That
was
a
credible
claim
that
might
well
have
survived
a
motion
to
dismiss.
This
is
Zuckerberg
writing
a
ten-figure
check
to
buy
off
the
Dear
Leader
and
ensure
that
there
will
be
no
further
antitrust
or
regulatory
actions,
much
less
threats
of
imprisonment.
Zuck
can
integrate
vertically,
horizontally,
or
whichever
way
he
pleases.
He
can
steal
to
feed
his
AI,
with
no
fear
of
prosecution.
And
all
it
takes
is
the
further
enshittification
of
his
platform
and
reckless
endangerment
of
minorities,
plus
the
change
he
dug
out
of
the
couch
in
the
Meta
breakroom.
Sure
it’s
a
bribe.
But
considering
what
he
got
for
it,
it’s
the
deal
of
the
century!
Liz
Dye lives
in
Baltimore
where
she
produces
the
Law
and
Chaos substack and podcast.