(Photo
by
Saul
Loeb-Pool/Getty
Images)
Matt
Gaetz
is
a
disgrace
for
a
whole
lot
of
reasons,
many
of
which
were
laid
out
in
a
House
ethics
report
released
this
morning.
But
aside
from
paying
for
sex
from
a
girl
too
young
to
consent
and
his
rampant
drug
use
at
a
time
when
he
was
feigning
outrage
at
Hunter
Biden’s
addiction,
Gaetz
should
be
disqualified
from
office
for
being
comically bad
at
law.
To
wit,
this
morning
he
filed
a
motion
for
injunctive
relief
at
the
federal
court
in
DC,
demanding
that
it
stop
the
Ethics
Committee
from
releasing
its
findings.
His
legal
theories
are
…
creative.
He
claims
that
it
violates
due
process
and
the
Constitution
to
mention
his
failure
to
disclose
a
trip
to
the
Bahamas
with
a
donor
and
several
nice
ladies
from
the
Seeking
Arrangement
website.
It’s
defamatory
to
say
he
paid
for
sex,
when
all
he
did
was
give
those
girls
money
out
of
the
generousity
of
his
heart.
Also
it
violates
the
Privacy
Act
(which
doesn’t
apply
to
Congress)
to
disclose
his
personal
texts.
The
filing
was
also
procedurally
defective
—
if
you
can
even
believe
it.
To
wit,
Gaetz
failed
to
include
the
name
and
address
of
each
party,
or
summonses
for
each
government
defendant,
the
US
Attorney
for
DC,
and
the
Attorney
General.
He
also
filed
his
application
for
a
temporary
restraining
order
along
with
the
complaint,
in
violation
of
the
local
rules.
All
those
things
could
be
fixed,
and
eventually
they
were.
But
before
Gaetz
even
filed
his
dumb
complaint,
every
reporter
in
DC
had
an
embargoed
copy
of
the
report
and
was
quoting
liberally
from
it.
And
while
Gaetz’s
counsel
were
still
struggling
to
locate
their
own
genitals
by
consulting
Google
Maps
and
the
court
clerk,
the
Committee
published
its
findings.
Indeed
CNN
reported
six
days
ago
that
at
least
one
Republican
had
broken
ranks
and
voted
with
the
Democrats
to
release
the
document.
And
yet
Gaetz
failed
to
do
anything
about
it
until
the
cat
was
all
the
way
out
of
the
bag
and
coughing
up
“vitamins”
all
over
the
District.
Not
that
filing
in
timely
fashion
would
have
helped.
Persuading
a
federal
judge
that
the
Speech
or
Debate
Clause
is
more
of
a
suggestion
really
was
always
going
to
be
a
lift.
But
docketing
this
turkey
when
the
report
was
already
in
the
wild
was
the
legal
equivalent
of
asking
a
prostitute
to
comp
you
a
free
one
for
“customer
appreciation
week.”
And
so,
of
course,
that’s
exactly
what
he
did.
An
hour
later,
Judge
Amit
Mehta
put
out
a
brief
order
instructing
Gaetz
to
show
cause
by
5pm
today
“why
this
matter
should
not
be
dismissed
with
prejudice
for
lack
of
subject
matter
jurisdiction,
insofar
as
this
case
appears
to
be
moot
in
light
of
the
House
Ethics
Committee’s
public
disclosure
of
the
report
whose
release
Plaintiff
seeks
to
enjoin.”
Gaetz
is
currently
busy
livetweeting
his
own
ethics
report
and
insisting
that
he
paid
ladies
after
sex,
not for
it,
which
is
totally
different,
okay?
Tweet
through
it,
Florida
Man.
You’re
doing
great!
And
lo,
even
as
we
went
to
press,
a
Christmas
Miracle
did
appear.
Seeing
that
he
would
not
be
able
to
get
relief
at
this
late
hour,
the
former
congressman
has
pulled
out
of
this
case.
HO.
HO.
HO.
Gaetz
v.
House
of
Representatives
Committee
on
Ethics
[Docket
via
Court
Listener]
Liz
Dye lives
in
Baltimore
where
she
produces
the
Law
and
Chaos substack and podcast.