Lois
Liberman
(Courtesy
photo
by
Gittings
Global)
When
thinking
about
Biglaw
practice
areas,
some
of
the
first
things
that
usually
come
to
mind
may
be
corporate
or
litigation,
but
there
are
many
other
worthwhile
practice
areas
that
don’t
necessarily
fit
the
stereotypical
Biglaw
mold
—
like
family
law.
What
does
a
family
law
practice
look
like
at
a
Biglaw
firm,
and
how
can
attorneys
figure
out
if
this
is
the
correct
practice
area
for
them?
I
recently
had
the
pleasure
of
chatting
with
Lois
Liberman,
co-chair
of
Blank
Rome’s
New
York
City
office
and
former
chair/co-chair
of
the
firm’s
matrimonial
and
family
law
practice
group,
to
get
her
thoughts
on
what
makes
family
law
an
attractive
practice
area,
her
popular
salon-style
series
“Look
Ahead,”
and
how
to
approach
mentorship
within
a
Biglaw
firm.
Here
is
a
write-up
of
our
lively
conversation.
Staci
Zaretsky
(SZ):
Why
did
you
become
a
family
law
attorney?
Lois
Liberman
(LL):
My
story
is
largely
that
I
was
in
the
right
place
at
the
right
time.
I
was
a
frustrated
actress
finishing
law
school
and
wanted
to
be
in
Court
right
away,
so
I
interviewed
with
DA’s
offices
and
Legal
Aid
Offices
as
part
of
the
on–campus
interview
program.
One
of
the
interviews
I
had
was
with
the
head
of
the
Family
Court
unit
at
Nassau
County
Legal
Aid
Society,
and
we
immediately
clicked.
She
asked
if
I
had
taken
a
Family
Law
course,
which
I
had,
and
she
told
me
that
she
thought
I
would
be
great
in
that
unit.
In
that
first
job
in
the
Family
Court
unit,
I
was
literally
thrown
into
Court!
I
handled
numerous
cases
each
day,
many
of
which
I
was
assigned
to
day-of,
and
found
myself
dealing
with
people
who
were
in
all
sorts
of
terrible
situations
—
from
failing
to
pay
child
support
and
being
in
danger
of
being
thrown
in
jail,
to
having
children
removed
from
their
custody
temporarily
because
they
were
born
with
drugs
or
alcohol
in
their
system,
to
vicious
custody
battles
or
those
who
were
the
victim
or
perpetrator
of
some
act
which
necessitated
an
order
of
protection.
While
it
was
hard
work,
I
truly
saw
that
I
was
making
a
difference
each
and
every
day,
and
I
felt
very
much
a
part
of
the
very
close-knit
group
of
attorneys
in
the
unit
and
judges
who
I
appeared
before.
After
some
time,
a
judge
who
had
been
very
kind
towards
me
referred
me
to
a
matrimonial
attorney
who
had
recently
lost
his
paralegal,
and
within
a
few
weeks,
I
started
working
for
one
of
the
most
well–respected
matrimonial
attorneys
in
Long
Island.
There
was
a
significant
adjustment
period
as
I
was
no
longer
in
court
every
day
working
on
the
fly
—
instead
I
was
meeting
with
clients
and
doing
a
lot
of
drafting
of
papers,
which
meant
effectively
telling
their
stories
in
order
to
help
get
the
relief
that
they
were
seeking.
I
remember
it
initially
would
take
me
weeks
to
write
a
10–page
affidavit!
From
there,
I
learned
a
great
deal,
and
I
ultimately
ended
up
working
for
my
mentor
Stan
Lotwin
in
my
next
role,
who
helped
me
become
the
attorney
I
am
today.
Family
law
suits
my
personality
well,
because
I’m
a
people
person
and
it
requires
nonstop
problem-solving.
It
brings
me
great
satisfaction
knowing
that
I
have
helped
my
clients
navigate
through
a
difficult,
emotionally
and
financially
taxing
period
of
change.
I
am
driven
to
zealously
advocate
on
their
behalf
to
ensure
that
they
and
their
loved
ones
are
properly
set
for
the
future.
In
particularly
heartbreaking
matters,
I
do
my
best
to
try
to
minimize
the
pain
endured
during
the
process.
As
my
career
has
progressed,
I
have
realized
that
legally
finalizing
a
marriage
is
only
one
part
what
can
be
one
of
the
most
significant
events
in
a
person’s
life.
There
is
plenty
that
comes
next!
So,
a
critical
part
of
what
I
do
with
people
is
talk
to
them
about
their
life
after
divorce
and
assist
them
in
coming
up
with
new
vision
and
directions.
I
have
added
educational
events
and
ongoing
community
resources
about
the
next
phases
in
life
into
my
practice.
I
want
to
make
a
difference
in
my
client’s
lives
and
for
the
most
part,
I
believe
that
as
a
family
lawyer,
I
have
been
able
to
achieve
that
goal.
SZ:
What
issues,
both
legal
and
otherwise,
do
individuals
struggle
with
the
most
during
divorce?
LL:
Family
law
encompasses
some
of
the
most
important
and
sensitive
aspects
of
people’s
lives
—
love,
family,
home,
and
money.
Probably
the
one
issue
that
most
separating
or
divorcing
individuals
with
children
struggle
with
is
the
fact
that
they
will
not
be
living
with
their
children
or
seeing
them
on
a
daily
basis.
There
will
be
some
time–sharing
arrangement
which
will
cause
the
children
to
be
absent
from
their
homes
on
certain
days,
holidays,
and
vacations
as
they
spend
time
with
the
other
parent.
This
can
be
especially
difficult
for
the
stay–at-home
parent,
if
during
the
marriage
all
they
ever
wanted
was
for
their
spouse
to
spend
more
time
with
the
kids
or
be
more
present
and
involved.
It
is
galling
when
only
after
the
divorce
has
commenced
does
the
other
parent
actually
start
doing
the
things
that
they
had
been
begging
them
to
do
during
their
marriage.
Co-parenting
is
a
significant
source
of
stress
for
separated
or
divorced
couples,
especially
if
they
have
difficulties
with
communicating
or
if
they
truly
have
different
parenting
styles.
Also,
unfortunately
there
are
those
who
continue
to
use
their
children
as
a
weapon
to
punish
the
other
spouse,
and
will
either
try
to
unfairly
thwart
their
parental
access
or
alienate
the
children
against
them.
Since
the
pandemic,
we
are
also
seeing
more
cases
involving
addictive
behaviors
—
alcohol,
cannabis,
and
other
drugs
—
and
these
substance
reliance/abuse
issues
are
impacting
child
custody
arrangements.
There
are
financial
stressors
as
well.
Even
in
this
day
and
age,
there
are
some
who
feel
that
if
they
earned
the
money
during
the
marriage,
it
is
their
money,
and
the
idea
of
having
to
“share”
their
assets
is
incredibly
upsetting
to
them.
The
issue
of
support
(both
child
support
and
maintenance)
is
often
a
difficult
pill
to
swallow
for
both
sides.
It
is
not
uncommon
for
the
payor
to
think
that
the
amount
that
they
have
to
pay
is
too
high,
and
for
the
payee
to
think
that
the
amount
that
they
are
entitled
to
receive
is
much
too
low.
Even
with
very
high
wage
earners,
the
reality
is
that
the
way
the
family
lived
while
they
were
intact
is
going
to
change
when
there
are
two
households
to
support.
SZ:
What
do
you
tell
young
attorneys
who
want
to
practice
matrimonial
law?
LL:
This
practice
is
not
for
the
faint
of
heart.
While
it
is
never
boring,
if
you
are
someone
who
goes
into
work
each
day
with
a
list
of
things
to
do,
and
you
need
to
check
everything
off
your
list,
this
is
not
the
practice
for
you.
Because
there
are
always
emergencies
cropping
up,
or
issues
which
will
turn
your
schedule
upside
down,
it
is
not
uncommon
for
you
to
work
for
the
entire
day
only
to
realize
you
didn’t
get
to
anything
you
had
planned.
Being
a
family
lawyer
is
a
fully
client-facing
job.
You
have
to
be
able
to
handle
people
who
are
at
their
worst
and
who
are
experiencing
a
cascade
of
emotions.
You
have
to
be
part
lawyer
and
part
therapist
at
times,
and
you
also
have
to
be
patient.
There
are
times
when
you
will
find
yourself
on
the
receiving
end
of
the
wave
of
emotions
that
your
client
cannot
take
out
on
their
spouse,
and
you
have
to
understand
why
that
is
happening
and
be
focused
and
wise
enough
to
handle
it
appropriately.
You
have
to
be
a
good
communicator,
a
good
writer,
a
good
negotiator,
and
a
good
draftsperson
in
family
law
—
usually
all
at
the
same
time.
One
of
the
best
parts
of
a
career
in
family
law
is
that
it
is
an
area
where
even
as
a
young
lawyer
you
can
begin
to
build
a
book
of
business.
You
are
always
going
to
know
someone
who
is
getting
married,
and
most
likely
you
are
also
going
to
know
someone
who
will
be
getting
divorced!
SZ:
How
do
you
approach
mentorship
in
the
firm?
LL:
I
was
fortunate
to
have
many
mentors
throughout
my
career,
including
attorney
Stan
Lotwin,
who
was
very
supportive
and
pushed
me
to
play
important
roles
in
the
matters
I
worked
on.
Stan
always
gave
me
opportunities
to
weigh
in
on
strategy,
argue
motions
that
I
helped
draft,
take
depositions,
and
take
part
in
settlement
meetings.
He
was
happy
to
see
me
develop
strong
relationships,
which
eventually
turned
into
referrals
of
other
clients,
and
that
experience
has
guided
my
own
approach
to
mentorship.
He
also
gave
me
invaluable
guidance
on
navigating
the
politics
of
big
firm
life.
Stan
instilled
in
me
a
desire
to
pay
it
forward,
and
I
am
committed
to
doing
what
I
can
to
help
others
rise
up
the
ladder
of
success.
I
believe
that
championing
others
is
a
huge
part
of
family
law,
both
for
clients
and
for
colleagues.
I
have
always
ensured
that
the
associates
staffed
on
my
matters
felt
like
they
were
an
important
member
of
the
team
and
that
I
wanted
their
input
and
opinions
on
the
issues
we
were
tackling.
I
do
not
just
treat
my
associates
as
“worker
bees.”
I
want
them
to
be
as
invested
as
I
am
in
my
matters.
It
is
important
to
strategize
and
explain
why
you
are
taking
a
position
or
pursuing
certain
relief
from
the
Court.
I
work
closely
with
the
associates
on
all
matters
so
that
they
can
continue
to
learn
and
improve
and
provide
them
with
opportunities
to
learn
whenever
I
can,
whether
that
be
to
argue
a
motion,
take
a
deposition,
or
to
handle
a
witness.
They
recognize
that
I
am
invested
in
their
professional
advancement.
Whenever
possible,
I
also
take
the
time
to
get
to
know
my
colleagues
personally.
I
want
to
learn
what
motivates
them
and
what
success
looks
like
to
them
so
that
we
can
figure
out
a
way
to
reach
those
goals
together.
I’m
incredibly
proud
that
many
of
the
attorneys
I
have
mentored
have
gone
on
to
become
partners
at
Blank
Rome
as
well
as
elsewhere,
and
have
also
achieved
significant
recognition
in
areas
such
as
diversity,
equity,
and
inclusion
and
pro-bono
leadership.
SZ:
What
inspired
you
to
start
the
“Look
Ahead”
salon
series?
LL:
I
launched
the
Look
Ahead
salon
series
because
I
believe
it
is
essential
to
focus
on
life
after
divorce.
So
many
of
my
clients
were
experiencing
similar
challenges,
and
I
thought
that
they
could
benefit
not
only
from
access
to
information
and
resources
to
help
them
tackle
those
challenges,
but
from
the
realization
that
they
were
not
alone
in
their
struggles.
I
also
felt
that
some
of
my
current
clients
would
gain
a
lot
from
the
experience
of
helping
and
supporting
others
while
hearing
from
those
who
not
only
survived
but
thrived
during
and
after
divorce.
I
have
worked
with
and
gotten
to
know
many
incredible
professionals
over
the
years
who
help
transform
lives.
I
tapped
into
that
network
and
the
networks
of
others
to
bring
these
inspirational
guests
on
to
the
series.
Some
of
the
Look
Ahead
topics
we’ve
covered
are
co-parenting
with
a
narcissist,
recognizing
and
dealing
with
coercive
control,
getting
“unstuck”
during
and
after
divorce,
taking
charge
of
one’s
financial
well-being,
how
to
survive
the
holidays
with
a
blended
family,
and
how
to
tackle
online
dating.
My
goal
is
not
just
to
help
clients
end
their
marriages,
but
to
launch
into
a
meaningful
next
chapter
and
beginning.
SZ:
What
have
been
the
biggest
takeaways
from
the
series
thus
far?
LL:
It’s
very
exciting
to
see
how
our
Look
Ahead
community
has
grown
and
the
engagement
we
have
from
those
who
attend
and
those
who
have
been
guests.
The
conversations
are
always
refreshingly
candid.
They
might
speak
to
a
particular
trend
or
moment
in
time,
or
provide
more
evergreen
guidance
for
those
embarking
on
their
next
chapter.
Initially,
we
featured
one-to-one
interviews
with
a
subject
matter
expert,
such
as
personal
finance
guru
Jean
Chatzky
on
ways
to
set
yourself
up
for
financial
independence.
Since
then,
we
have
been
developing
different
types
of
programming,
like
focusing
on
how
to
boost
your
dating
savvy
and
freshen
your
look
with
a
panel
of
multiple
experts
that
included
Bumble
Chief
Branding
Officer
Selby
Drummond,
Goop
Beauty
Editor
Jean
Godfrey-June,
and
image
consultant
Ashley
Schafer.
Most
recently
we
also
had
a
powerful
salon
featuring
Leigh
Weinraub,
founder
of
Human
Leigh,
who
provided
participants
with
invaluable
advice
on
moving
forward
after
divorce
or
any
challenging
hurdle
in
life
and
embracing
new
opportunities.
My
hope
is
always
that
participants
will
continue
to
support
one
another,
and
strength
will
be
gained
from
the
insight
of
those
who
have
survived
and
thrived.
As
the
laws
and
our
cultural
attitudes
continue
to
change,
Look
Ahead
will
be
there
as
a
resource
to
empower
people
and
help
them
gain
confidence,
flourish,
and
get
past
a
life-changing
and
often
painful
experience.
SZ:
Would
you
like
to
share
any
advice
for
women
on
how
to
successfully
manage
a
career
at
a
large
law
firm?
LL:
In
order
to
succeed
as
a
female
attorney
in
Biglaw,
my
belief
is
that
you
will
need
to
1)
find
a
mentor
who
wants
to
be
invested
in
your
success;
2)
find
or
create
a
community
of
women
to
support
one
another
in
achieving
your
goals;
and
3)
seek
out
the
assistance
of
a
business
development
professional
who
can
help
you
create
your
own
business
plan.
It’s
always
been
incredibly
important
to
me
that
Blank
Rome
is
able
to
attract
and
retain
top
female
talent
and
meet
its
goals
of
advancing
women
into
leadership
roles.
I
served
as
chair
and
co-chair
of
Blank
Rome’s
firmwide
matrimonial
and
family
law
practice
group
for
five
years,
from
2013
through
2018,
and
I
was
very
proud
to
help
develop
the
“next
generation”
of
attorneys
in
the
group
and
see
it
grow
to
become
one
of
the
largest
and
most
diverse
such
practices
in
the
country.
I
am
now
the
co-chair
of
the
firm’s
New
York
City
office,
and
in
this
role,
I
am
able
to
continue
promoting
the
firm’s
values.
I
am
also
a
member
of
the
partner
board
at
Blank
Rome,
which
helps
develop
strategy
for
the
firm.
Women
in
Biglaw,
or
really
in
any
law
firm
environment,
will
need
to
continue
to
focus
on
mentorship,
which
is
essential
to
creating
the
next
generation
of
leaders.
There
are
more
challenges
for
both
mentors
and
mentees
today,
given
that
most
workers
have
shifted
in
whole
or
in
part
to
remote
work.
This
shift
in
the
workplace
makes
it
harder
for
individuals
to
connect
and
create
strong
bonds
with
those
who
can
offer
them
guidance
and
support.
Whether
they
are
associates
or
proven
leaders,
women
in
law
today
must
take
a
more
thoughtful,
creative,
and
deliberate
approach
to
mentorship
and
ensuring
access
and
availability.
Those
who
possess
the
talent
to
help
others
must
try
to
be
proactive
and
make
mentorship
a
priority,
and
those
who
seek
mentorship
may
need
to
take
extra
steps
to
connect
with
a
great
mentor.
I
am
a
strong
believer
in
women’s
initiatives
in
Biglaw,
and
encourage
more
women
to
participate
in
them.
I’ve
been
closely
involved
with
Blank
Rome’s
“BR
Women”
group
programming,
which
has
grown
to
include
an
annual
Women’s
Leadership
Summit,
and
it’s
led
me
to
form
very
meaningful
connections
with
other
women
at
the
firm.
I
believe
these
initiatives
are
a
great
opportunity
for
all
women
and
should
continue
to
be
a
priority.
On
behalf
of
everyone
here
at
Above
the
Law,
we’d
like
to
thank
Lois
Liberman
for
taking
the
time
to
help
answer
these
questions
on
practicing
family
law
and
matrimonial
law
within
a
Biglaw
firm,
as
well
as
her
expert
advice
on
mentorship.
Staci
Zaretsky is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law,
where
she’s
worked
since
2011.
She’d
love
to
hear
from
you,
so
please
feel
free
to
email
her
with
any
tips,
questions,
comments,
or
critiques.
You
can
follow
her
on
X/Twitter
and
Threads
or
connect
with
her
on
LinkedIn.