(Photo
by
David
Becker/Getty
Images)
Campaign
ads
may
soon
leave
your
televisions,
but
that
doesn’t
mean
Jonathan
Turley
is
done
trying
to
squeeze
another
15
minutes
of
cable
news
fame
out
of
this
contest.
The
GW
Law
professor
—
though
he
seems
to
consider
“journalism”
as
his
current
profession
—
has
slipped
one
more
hot
take
in
under
the
wire
before
the
polls
close
tonight.
He
has
a
new
article
at
Fox.com,
Turley’s
patron
in
his
quest
for
TV
stardom,
bemoaning
the
level
of
“rage”
behind
this
election.
And
by
“rage”
he
means
specifically
AND
EXCLUSIVELY
“Democrats
criticizing
Trump.”
When
President
Joe
Biden
took
the
podium
in
his
hometown
of
Scranton,
Pa.,
to
campaign
for
Vice
President
Kamala
Harris,
many
expected
a
return
to
the
“self-professed
unifier”
Biden
from
the
2020
election,
particularly
after
his
recent
comments
calling
tens
of
millions
of
Trump
supporters
“garbage.”
Wow,
what
were
the
odds
that
Turley
would
be
an
Apostrophe
Truther?
Gotta
be
like
1-in-1,
right?
Like
any
committed
sycophant,
Turley
dutifully
climbed
on
board
with
the
theory
that
while
an
apostrophe
is
inaudible
to
most
humans,
he
can
personally
hear
the
difference
between
“supporter’s”
and
“supporters”
and
can
confirm
that
Biden
said
the
latter.
This
pet
theory
of
the
right
—
and
by
this
I
mean
a
“pet”
theory
they
devote
special
attention
to
and
not
a
“pet”
theory
about
migrants
eating
cats
—
only
makes
sense
if
you
assume
Joe
Biden
has
no
idea
how
subject-verb
agreement
works.
Because
when
someone
says
“The
only
garbage
I
see
floating
out
there
IS…”
they’re
unlikely
to
be
referring
to
“tens
of
millions.”
If
so,
they
were
disappointed
when
it
turned
out
to
be
the
“take
him
behind
the
Gym”
Biden.
Speaking
through
clenched
teeth,
Biden
seethed
that
he
wanted
to
“smack
[Trump]
in
the
ass.”
Even
with
the
Harris
campaign
alarmed
over
his
costly
gaffes,
Biden
clearly
could
not
resist
the
rage.
He
is
not
alone.
Oh
no!
A
spanking?
Political
violence
of
the
highest
order,
to
be
sure.
Nothing
could
possibly
compare
to
this
threat
of
vicious
buttwarming.
In
the
last
week,
Trump
got
his
audience
hyped
up
to
imagine
Liz
Cheney
staring
down
nine
rifles:
In
Trump’s
defense,
he
wasn’t
suggesting
that
he’d
put
the
former
high-ranking
GOP
congresswoman
in
front
of
a
firing
squad,
but
critiquing
her
hawkish
foreign
policy
politics
despite
never
serving
herself.
I
dunno,
maybe
she
has
bone
spurs.
But
that
doesn’t
make
Trump’s
remarks
any
less
of
a
violent,
evocative
image
tailored
for
an
audience
that
tried
to
hang
Trump’s
own
vice
president
the
last
time
he
accused
a
Republican
of
disloyalty
to
Dear
Leader.
Plus
the
claim
seems
factually
dubious.
On
the
heels
of
these
remarks,
Trump
showed
a
lighter
side
while
pointing
to
the
bulletproof
glass
at
his
rallies.
And
by
“lighter
side,”
we
mean:
Speaking
about
the
bulletproof
glass
positioned
in
front
of
his
lectern,
the
former
president
said
that
for
a
bullet
to
hit
him
in
an
attempted
assassination,
a
shooter
would
have
to “shoot
through
the
fake
news,
and
I
don’t
mind
that
so
much.”
Turley
wrote
some
disingenuous
tripe
about
protecting
the
press
less
than
a
week
ago
(addressed
here).
Apparently
his
concern
for
his
profession
does
not
extend
to
telling
the
folks
that
stormed
the
Capitol
that
he
wouldn’t
mind
someone
killing
the
press
corps.
But
again,
no
comparison
to
a
man
about
to
turn
82
joking
about
a
schoolyard
fistfight.
Literally
last
night…
Also,
who’s
praising
Penn
State
after
Saturday?
That
might
have
been
the
most
embarrassing
sequence
of
goal
line
playcalling
in
history!
In
any
event,
Trump
continued:
We
could
go
on
and
on
pointing
to
the
unhinged
violent
rhetoric
from
this
guy
that
Turley
steadfastly
refuses
to
even
acknowledge
in
an
article
about
“rage”
in
elections.
Remember
when
he
told
his
followers
he’d
pay
their
legal
fees
if
they
beat
up
protestors?
He
ultimately
refused
after
they
took
him
up
on
it.
Hell,
if
Turley
thinks
Kathy
Hochul
saying
it’s
“anti-American”
to
support
Trump
is
bad
—
and
it
is
the
very
example
he
opens
his
article
with
—
then
where’s
Turley’s
scolding
of
Trump
referring
to
Democrats
generally
as
“the
enemy
within?”
Again,
we
could
go
on
but
the
Penn
State-UFC
Migrant
Smackdown
remarks
form
a
poignant
bookend
to
Turley’s
pathetic
polemic.
However,
in
flying
to
New
York
this
weekend
to
join
the
Fox
election
coverage,
I
had
a
moment
of
real
hope.
I
was
driven
to
the
airport
by
a
man
who
told
me
that
he
was
just
months
from
his
citizenship
and
how
he
and
his
wife
were
so
thankful
to
soon
be
U.S.
citizens.
He
came
from
a
Middle Eastern
nation
where
he
long
admired
the
United
States
for
its
freedoms,
particularly
the
freedom
of
speech….He
then
told
me
how
confused
he
and
his
wife
are
by
this
election.
They
love
the
United
States
and
cannot
understand
why
people
are
so
hateful
and
angry.
“It
is
like
they
do
not
understand
what
they
have
here,”
he
noted.
Turley
milks
this
anecdote
to
provide
an
illusion
of
gravitas
to
the
piece.
But
you
can’t
begin
to
process
the
dissonance
of
juxtaposing
this
Horatio
Alger,
Shining
City
on
A
Hill
bullshit
in
an
article
lifting
up
a
candidate
who
used
his
office
to
kidnap
migrant
children
for
up
to
four
years
and
now
glibly
talks
about
converting
college
football
players
into
Ultimate
Fighting
Gladiators
to
brutalize
immigrants
for
his
amusement.
Trump
literally
imposed
a
ban
on
Muslim
immigrants.
Like,
you
know,
the
friendly
man
that
Turley
turned
into
a
pawn
to
put
a
vaguely
artsy
frame
on
his
MAGA
agitprop.
Gee,
why
are
people
“so
hateful
and
angry”
muses
the
immigrant
driver,
pleasantly
chatting
with
a
law
professor
who
spends
his
waning
career
offering
pseudo-intellectual
cover
for
a
movement
frothing
at
the
mouth
that
migrants
are
eating
all
the
dogs
and
cats.
If
he
only
knew.
Dude,
the
problem
is
coming
from
inside
the
car!
Earlier:
‘Bezos
Could
Do
For
The
Media
What
Musk
Did
For
Free
Speech,’
Says
Law
Professor
Unironically
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.
Joe
also
serves
as
a
Managing
Director
at
RPN
Executive
Search.