As
much
as
any
other
workplace,
attorneys
at
law
firms
sometimes
need
to
be
reminded
about
the
basics
of
polite
interactions.
Over
at
Ask
A
Manager,
Alison
Green
recently
answered
a
question
from
an
associate
at
a
boutique
law
firm.
The
associate
attended
a
work
event
with
colleagues,
and
she
did
not
drink
alcohol.
That
led
to
speculation
that
the
letter
writer
was
forgoing
drinking
because
she’s
pregnant.
And
it
became
a
whole
thing.
When
we
left
dinner,
one
of
the
colleagues,
Sara,
asked
me
outright
if
this
was
true.
I
asked
her
why
she
would
think
that
and
explained
that
I
wasn’t
drinking
because
I
was
going
to
a
big
party
tomorrow,
and
drinking
two
nights
in
a
row
is
just
too
much
for
me.Another
colleague,
Rose,
cornered
me
and
said
that
she
heard
I
was
pregnant.
I
asked
where
she
heard
something
like
that,
and
she
proceeded
to
tell
me
all
the
associates
was
talking
about
it,
she
heard
I
was
“trying,”
and
she
thought
it
better
to
go
straight
to
the
source
than
just
speculate.
Rose
has
been
very
open
about
her
own
fertility
issues,
so
I
found
her
questions
absolutely
shocking.
I
told
her
that
if
I
have
something
to
announce,
she’d
hear
about
it.
I
repeated
to
her
that
I
was
going
to
a
party
tomorrow
and
didn’t
want
to
drink
two
nights
in
a
row.
Sara,
standing
nearby,
said,
“You
don’t
have
to
explain
yourself.”
Which
…
apparently
is
not
the
case!Rose
proceeded
to
remind
me
that
if
our
boss
found
out
by
way
of
gossip,
he
would
be
livid.
Great.
That
feels
pretty
icky.
No
one
should
be
forced
to
disclose
the
details
of
their
reproductive
choices
before
they’re
ready.
And,
in
this
specific
case,
it’s
complicated
because
the
letter
writer
actually
*is*
pregnant,
but
she’s
early
in
the
process
and
not
at
the
sharing
stage
yet.
Green’s
response
is
appropriately
indignant,
which
makes
sense,
since
the
letter
writer’s
colleagues
are
out
of
pocket.
Not
only
is
it
rude
and
invasive
to
speculate
on
whether
someone
is
pregnant,
let
alone
confront
them
to
ask
them
about
it
(and
no,
Rose,
it’s
not
better
to
“go
straight
to
the
source”),
but
it’s
also
ridiculous
to
assume
someone
is
pregnant
just
because
they’re
not
drinking.
There
are
a
ton
of
reasons
someone
might
not
be
drinking
on
any
given
occasion:
your
own
reason
of
not
wanting
to
drink
two
nights
in
a
row,
or
they’re
on
a
medicine
that
prevents
it,
or
they’re
trying
to
drink
less,
or
they’re
driving
later,
or
they
didn’t
eat
a
lot
today
and
don’t
want
to
drink
on
an
empty
stomach,
or
they
prefer
not
to
lower
their
inhibitions
at
work
events,
or
they
just
don’t
feel
like
it.It’s
bizarre
that
your
coworkers
care
so
much.
Even
if
they
see
drinking
together
as
an
enjoyable
bonding
ritual
at
work
conferences,
it’s
extremely
weird
to
be
so
put
off
that
someone
else
doesn’t
feel
like
it
—
and
I
wonder
if
you
not
drinking
made
them
feel
defensive
about
how
much
they
were
all
drinking,
given
that
you
described
them
as
“VERY
drunk.”
Some
people
get
like
that.
Just
a
reminder
—
a
law
degree
doesn’t
stop
some
people
from
being
gossipy
and
invasive.
Kathryn
Rubino
is
a
Senior
Editor
at
Above
the
Law,
host
of
The
Jabot
podcast,
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
AtL
tipsters
are
the
best,
so
please
connect
with
her.
Feel
free
to
email
her
with
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments
and
follow
her
on
Twitter
@Kathryn1 or
Mastodon
@[email protected].