Citrus
Power,
activate!
(Photo
by
Michael
M.
Santiago/Getty
Images)
I
wrote
several
months
ago that
if
I
had
the
choice
of
voting
for
Donald
Trump
or
a
hot,
stinking
turd,
I’d
vote
for
the
turd.
I
didn’t
want
to
repeat
the
word
“turd”
too
many
times
in
this
post,
so
I’ve
changed
it
to
“grapefruit.”
Who
should
you
vote
for:
Trump
or
a
grapefruit?
Let’s
think
carefully
about
those
two
choices.
On
policy
issues,
it’s
not
close:
The
grapefruit
wins.
A
grapefruit,
unlike
Trump,
would
not
cause
the
United
States
to
withdraw
from
NATO.
A
grapefruit
would
not
try
to
solve
the
problem
of
inflation
by
enacting
20%
across-the-board
tariffs
(which
would
have
the
effect
of
raising
prices).
A
grapefruit
would
not
advocate
for
leaving
the
Trump
tax
cuts
in
place,
which
will
both
dramatically
increase
the
national
debt
and
contribute
to
inflation.
A
grapefruit
would
not
insist
that
Haitians
in
Ohio
eat
pet
dogs,
thus
triggering
bomb
threats
in
Springfield.
A
grapefruit
would
not
cut
off
aid
to
Ukraine.
So
much
for
policy.
What
about
character
issues?
How
does
the
grapefruit
fare
against
Trump
when
we
compare
their
respective
characters?
Grapefruit
are
pale,
round,
and
bitter.
I
guess
the
same
could
be
said
of
Trump.
(But
grapefruit
are
at
least
thick-skinned.)
A
grapefruit
would
not
say
things
that
caused
it
to
be
civilly
liable
for
defamation.
A
grapefruit
would
not
run
a
company
that
was
then
convicted
of
criminal
tax
fraud.
A
grapefruit
would
not
commit
sexual
assault.
A
grapefruit
would
not
be
convicted
of
34
felonies.
A
grapefruit
would
not
mishandle
confidential
government
documents.
Hmmm.
Are
you
starting
to
see
my
point?
How
about
Trump
versus
grapefruit
on
presidential
proclamations?
Again,
it’s
grapefruit
one;
Trump
zero.
A
grapefruit
would
not
tweet
outrageous
things
every
morning
that
are
meant
to
attract
publicity
to
the
tweeter
personally
and
stoke
divisions
in
America.
A
grapefruit
would
not
insult
members
of
America’s
military.
A
grapefruit
would
not
encourage
people
to
come
to
Washington,
D.C.,
for
a
“wild”
day
in
January
or
give
a
speech
that
encouraged
a
mob
to
attack
the
Capitol
Building.
A
grapefruit
wouldn’t
stand
by
idly
for
three
hours
while
the
Capitol
Building
was
ransacked
by
a
mob.
A
grapefruit
—
being
inanimate
and
all
that
—
wouldn’t
stop
its
staff
from
tweeting
something
suggesting
that
the
mob
should
discontinue
its
attack.
If
a
grapefruit
were
told
that
the
vice
president
was
in
danger,
the
grapefruit
would
not
say,
“So
what?”
The
grapefruit
would
predictably
remain
silent
—
which
isn’t
my
preferred
response,
but
it’s
a
whole
lot
better
than
what
Trump
did.
Lastly,
if
elected,
a
grapefruit
would
not
instruct
the
Department
of
Justice
to
prosecute
me
as
a
political
enemy
because
I’d
written
these
words
at
Above
the
Law.
Some
folks
criticized The
New
York
Times last
week
for
the
structure
of The
Times’
endorsement
of
Kamala
Harris.
Readers
thought
that The
Times
should
have
started
by
emphasizing
the
positives
of
Harris’s
policies,
rather
than
leading
with
criticisms
of
Trump.
I
disagree
with
those
readers:
It
really
doesn’t
matter
who,
or
what,
opposes
Trump
on
the
ballot.
Whether
it’s
Harris,
or
a
grapefruit,
or
a
turd,
the
choice
is
clear:
Not
Trump.
Mark Herrmann spent
17
years
as
a
partner
at
a
leading
international
law
firm
and
is
now
deputy
general
counsel
at
a
large
international
company.
He
is
the
author
of
The
Curmudgeon’s
Guide
to
Practicing
Law and Drug
and
Device
Product
Liability
Litigation
Strategy (affiliate
links).
You
can
reach
him
by
email
at [email protected].