Last Friday, Professor Maybell Romero invited me to a panel discussion at AALS. Because I’m anonymous, it was impossible for me to attend. Unlike SEALS, AALS doesn’t allow anonymous folks to present. But, thanks to Professor Brian Frye and a Nixon mask, I was able to communicate some thoughts.
What follows are the thoughts I communicated:
Greetings, friends:
First, as Brian Frye is my voice today, allow me to say ironically that the words of LPB are in no way connected to Brian Frye. That absolves him of liability for the words which he quotes to you. Unless he chooses to plagiarize them, in which case, sue away.
Also, allow me to congratulate Brian and Maybell on their wedding. I think the topic of a future AALS session should be: Who got the better end of the deal? A discussion of the right to marry and the aftermath. We are not going to send out a poll, however. Because Brian will create 1,000 fake Twitter accounts just to show how lucky he is. Just admit it Brian. We love you, ya hipster.
Today, I want to talk to you about hubris. I’m supposed to be talking to you about social media. They are the same. Hubris is pride unbounded. When you enter social media, you should be wary of your own ambition, for it is quite easy to be brought down, labeled, canceled, or worse. All for a single tweet. I can’t guarantee your safe passage, I can only tell you what has avoided getting me canceled up until now. It may change tomorrow.
- Do not attack people’s belief systems. People have belief systems to which they cling. The thing that keeps people going is their belief systems. It is a mistake to start off on social media attacking belief systems. A belief system could be political, spiritual, or anything else that motivates the person. When I attack hierarchies in academia on Twitter, I am attacking the belief systems of professors who believe that to be an excellent professor you must come from a small group of schools. Attacking belief systems is dangerous, and will cause massive backlash.
- Do not engage #ContrarianMan. Contrarian man likes to be controversial. He (and it almost always is a he for reasons that don’t escape me) looks to present the antithesis of common belief. They will pretend to be objective while assuring you that you’re an idiot for not having the same cranial capacity as them. If they are senior professors, they will bring you down, and that will hurt. He is a type of troll, and one should not engage trolls, unless you are trying to cross a bridge and they are guarding it. Or you’re playing Zork.
- Show and tweet the works of others. The best way to get a good reputation is to share the works of others. There is an economist who I follow who is delightful at this, spinning entire threads as he reads articles. It is flattering to the author, and shows the engagement of the tweeter. Reading scholarship, it seems, is quite novel. It is a great way to stand out.
- Always be kind. It is easy to mock students, especially as you are grading. But don’t. They see you, and they will immediately assume any tweet is about them. You don’t want that on your conscience. The same goes with colleagues. In my early days, after some particularly insulting things were said to me by a colleague, I decided to air my grievances. But it didn’t make me feel better. Instead, it makes things worse. Take the high road, no matter what. Insecure people will be mean and vicious. Don’t be that.
- Be yourself. That means that you are fallible. I don’t stan, but the accounts of the people who I find the most, for lack of a better term, beautiful are the ones who show their hard-core research and also their flaws. Because humanity is beautiful. It is the reason I’m on social media. Being vulnerable is a way to show strength. Or at least that is the takeaway I got from Brenee Brown. I have started (mostly mock) wars against Instant Pots, spacing once after a period, and pineapple on pizza. Harmless debates based upon preferences. That’s different than going after someone’s religion, political philosophy, and the like.
- Write your social media posts as if everyone will read them. That includes your mother, your dean, everyone. Because they will live forever. For this reason, never tweet angry. Never tweet to show someone up.
- Engage. Don’t just post things out into the realm. It might be nice to every so often promote your articles, but if that is ALL you do, no one will pay attention. I mute accounts like that. The world is a bigger place than you. And that means discussing ideas with others, engaging their ideas, and sometimes promoting them. This is the way to being welcomed into the community.
- Manage your timeline. The list function on Twitter came to me late in the game. But it is a way I can parse out the noise from things I want to see. Everyone on this panel is on my lawprof list. I’m always happy to see tweets from them. And I look forward to meeting them in person someday. Muting people is also a blissful thing.
- People are human. That means you might not get along with everyone. Not everyone likes me. I know this comes at a shock. Even close friends and I have had disagreements that could have ended friendships. If you have repeated bad interactions with someone, don’t continue to engage them, no matter how popular they are. Avoid it. For chances are it will continue to be the same. Comedian John Mulaney says, “I want everybody to like me SO much.” That goal of external validation can end up being not great for your ego. And your center. You can read my article (yeah, that’s right, I burned time writing an article anonymously) about it. Read it here.
- Have fun and be yourself. The more you speak from the heart, the more people appreciate it. I’m surprised that while I try to be funny, the connections I’ve made with people have been about serious topics. That is the joy of social media — connection to humanity.
- If you choose to be anonymous on social media, understand you will not be helping your own brand name. Also, you should always assume you will be outed and discovered. Thus, you should always act and post as if everyone knows who you are.
These are good first steps. I’m always available for guidance. Lawprofblawg@gmail.com. Or you can DM me on Twitter. Blawg is spelled B-L-A-W-G. Apologies to profsblawg.
I also gave some advice on op-eds. You can find that here.
LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here. He is way funnier on social media, he claims. Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.