There are many ways for a professor to teach. When this is all over, we are sure there will be a great discussion about the merits of “synchronous” versus “asynchronous” learning. By far the most popular version of “synchronous” learning is to have a “Zoom” class.
It occurred to us that the use of Zoom might be problematic in a variety of ways. And that might be the topic of another blog post. Today, we wanted you to miss the musical Hamilton, while at the same time discuss some of the common issues of using Zoom.
The Ten Commandments of Zoom (with apologies to everyone and everything Hamilton for this parody):
Profs: One, Two, Three, Four
Students: Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine
Deans: It’s the Ten Zoom Commandments
Full School: Number One
The invitation requires acceptance
If the class cancels there’s no attendance
Full School: Number Two
If it’s on, grab your friend
They only have a second
Full School: Number Three
Have the tutors meet face to face
Negotiate a space
Or negotiate a time and a place
Full School: Number Four
If there’s no review session that’s alright,
Time to get some outlines and find the online site
Debate the issues with civility
But hedge your answer with deniability
Full School: Five
Study before the sun is in the sky
To ask a question wave your hand up high
Full School: Six
Leave a note for your roommate
where you’re going to be
Pray to Heaven
It’s somewhere they can’t see
Full School: Seven
Brief your cases, prepare for the moment
Of adrenaline when you finally face prof opponent
Full School: Eight
Your last chance to negotiate
Cite your authority, see if it sets the record straight
Dean 1: Mortimer?
Dean 2: Yes, sir?
Dean 1: Can we agree that online teaching technology can be obscure?
Dean 2: Sure. But the profs must still learn to adapt sir.
Dean 1: Hang on, how many students must pass/fail to be sure, sir?
Dean 2: Okay, we’re doing this but the students we must assure.
Full School: Number Nine
Look the camera straight in the eye,
Aim no higher
Summon all the courage you require
Then count
Students: One Two Three Four
Faculty: Five Six Seven Eight Nine
Deans: Ten Faces!
Hamilton: Teach!
TempDean is an anonymous professor and former interim administrator at a top 100 law school. Email him c/o lawprofblawg@gmail.com if you must.
LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here. He is way funnier on social media, he claims. Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.